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jiguripuff · Apr 10, 2008, 07:05 PM

After 3 weeks of being broken up, there's the possibility of us getting back together. If we do end up getting back together, what are some good things to talk about? Obviously one is the reasons for the break up and how we can fix them, but what are some other things that should be discussed before deciding to try again?

ISneezeFunny · Apr 10, 2008, 08:08 PM

Well, without knowing more details about you two (age, how long you've been together, reason for breaking up, what happened after the breakup), I can't really say much except... I suggest first you work out the reasons for the breakup, fix it, and THEN you get back together.

If you two were doing fine before the breakup, you guys will do fine when you guys get back together (as long as the "issue" was fixed)

Fr_Chuck · Apr 10, 2008, 08:10 PM

A couple should be talking about everything, from what you do all day, to what your dreams for the future are.

But the reasons for the break up needs to be talked about and those issues worked out while getting back together

jiguripuff · Apr 10, 2008, 09:19 PM

Details? We're both 25 and we were together for 3.5 years (2 of which were living together). I was the one that was dumped because I was being a jerk, plus he wanted to see what it was like to be single again. I had some issues with feeling unappreciated in the relationship. Since we broke up I've been keeping myself busy, trying to feel positive inside so as to radiate positivity instead of negativity. I think he went on a couple dates, but he's since decided that I'm the one for him and he wants me back.

We'll definitely be talking about why we broke up and how we're going to fix those issues. Besides working on those issues I think we should start with a clean slate though. I guess we should decide where we're starting (is this a whole new relationship, or a continuation of the prior one?) and how fast we'll be moving (moving in again or living separately?) Is there anything else we should discuss?

belightingguy · Apr 11, 2008, 12:06 AM

Originally Posted by jiguripuff

plus he wanted to see what it was like to be single again. I think he went on a couple dates, but he's since decided that I'm the one for him and he wants me back.

Personally, as a guy, I think you should ask him why he wanted to see what it was like to be single again. Be cautious; a statement like that is pretty bold. He was basically saying, "I don't want to be with you for awhile, and during that time I want to see what it is like to date other women." Don't get yourself hurt. Maybe he is a really great guy, and had no bad intentions, but seriously, proceed with caution.

"I think he went on a couple dates, but he's since decided that I'm the one for him and he wants me back."

He had to date other women to "decide" that you're the "one"? Careful. I would have my defensives up a bit. He basically wanted to put you in a lineup. Do you feel OK about that? I sincerely doubt that when I find "the one" I'll need to go on escapades with other women to make sure she's the right one; I think I'll just know.

Make sure you have a good understanding of everything that is going on before you recommit to this relationship... Protect your heart...

talaniman · Apr 11, 2008, 11:47 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...up-200157.html
I'll bite what has changed in the last week, that your getting back together?

jiguripuff · Apr 11, 2008, 11:30 PM

Well, I never wanted to break up in the first place. I thought that the issues we had could be worked out while still being together. (We even talked about marriage and buying a house together, so I figured that we could work through problems together as partners... ) I did NC after he broke up with me until he recently text bombed me with "I'm sorry"s and "I want to get back together"s. I've given him a week to be 100% sure that this is what he wants and I'm trying to not get my hopes up. He's promised me that I will be his number 1 priority from now on and that he cares about me more than anything or anyone else.

As I said, I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I can't help but hope that it works out. I just want to be sure I go into it prepared.

talaniman · Apr 12, 2008, 07:27 AM

Actions speak louder than words. Work out the problems first, before you decide if he deserves a second chance. That means honest communications, are better than a dinner at the Ritz. If you can't talk and listen, and work together, what would be the point in taking him back. Listen carefully, and don't take any crap.