[johndeere08]

When I was 12 years old I was diagnosed with bone cancer. I had pain in my leg for 3 years before they found out that it was cancer. Doctors would say I was faking it, or it was growing pains. They took X-rays of my knee, and they said that there was nothing wrong.
In February I sliped on ice and my hip started to hurt instead of my knee. My mom took me to another doctor, and he took an x-ray of my hip. The very next day I was at a children's hospital 90 miles away from home. It was a tumor. They said when I slipped I was lucky I didn't break my femur bone because the tumor had eaten away most of my bone. They did more tests and a biopsy. The cancer had spread to my lungs and my skull... the doctors told my parents I has a 1 out of 10 chance of making it.
I went through intense chemo and radiation, and now today here I am at age 19. I look back and I am happy I made it in all, but it is an everyday struggle. I have so many things wrong with me from the aftermath of chemo and radiation.
One of the biggest things that bugs me right now is that from the radiation my right leg doesn't bend. It holds me back from doing all the things I once loved. I hate going out in public because people always stair at my leg, or they ask me "what did you do?" And then to make things worst about 4 months ago I sliped again and I broke the bone under neath my knee cap. I hyper-extended my knee. I had another surgery they put screws 7 screws in my knee. Now from my hip down to my knee is all medal. My limp is now worst. The doctors said it is going to take time to heal. I am just about always in pain from my leg, and from taking high amounts of pain killers since I was 12 my liver is slowly getting bad,and I am getting stomach ulcers. Where I work I am on my feet all day, I go to college full time and with the rest of my time I sleep. I have a lot of friends but only a few are ones I hang out with. One of my best friends that I hang out with I have noticed that she only likes to hang out with me when she is with friends that know me. I feel she is embarrassed to go to parties with me or hang out with her friends that don't know me that she is trying to impress. It really hurts because we have been friends since 3rd grade. I don't date anyone because I am too embarrassed. And when I do get close to a guy I always back down, or be mean until they go away.
I have always thought about getting my leg amputated.. I see things in the news about people with fake legs that can run, walk normally, and do anything that people can do with a good leg. I hate not being able to ride in the back seat of a car comfortably, go rollerblading, biking, hiking, go to games that you have to sit in the bleachers, take the stairs and keep up with everyone, and most of all- Fit in with everyone else. My family says that is probably the last thing I want, but they don't understand. I think that it would give me more freedom.
I still am scared of the negative things about having a fake leg also, but they don't add up to all the positive things. I love wearing flip-flops in the summer, and all of my cute shoes, and I know I couldn't wear those if I had a fake leg. And then I hear about people who have pain in there leg, but there is nothing there. I am hoping that maybe there is someone on here that has or knows someone with a leg amputation and could give me some advice. Am I taking this too far? Should I just live with what I have. My doctors say I should just be happy I am here, but in the same sense, that's not fair. If that doctor was in my shoes you know damn well he would do anything possible to fix it. I have went through a years worth of physical therapy and it doesn't help. What do I do?

[svatnsdal]

I am curious about 'the bone under my knee cap'. There isn't one. Your knee cap is called a patella. That sits with the femur above and the fibula and tibia below.
First, think of all the things you CAN do. I know, it's got to be hard, but you have got to remember the good.
Before you really think about getting your leg amputated, go speak to people who are already there! Just remember, if you got it done, you can't put it back.
With your friends, you should speak to them. You are just as normal as them, but better. If they are really friends, they will open up to you. You are a great person with living life to the fullest, and still dealing with your pain. A lot of people just wine and flush their life down the toilet with the blame put on their disability.
Now you should also go speak to a psychologist. They are someone who is not going to just hand you drugs, they will listen and help you with suggestions.
You are a very lucky lady! I wish you the best, and just always try to think of the good you have, not the bad.

[johndeere08]

Patella.. that's probably it, it is the nob thing.. I broke that part off.

http://www.merck.com/media/mmpe/figu...309_05_eps.gif

Type lV, that's what the X-ray looked like anyway..

[svatnsdal]

Patella.. thats probably it, it is the nob thing.. i broke that part off.

Patella is the knee cap.

[inthebox]

Wow, you have been through a heck of a lot, sorry.

How far can you flex/ bend your right knee? About 120 degrees is normal.

Did the radiation destroy the knee joint - bone and cartilage? - or is the skin scarred and not stretching to allow you to bend the knee?

Have you been to an orthopedic surgeon, about possible joint replacement, though at your age current replacements might last 10-15 years.

Amputation is a very radical idea, as stated, you can't go back.

Would it be above the knee or below the knee. Below the knee won't help if the problem is at the knee. Above the knee - I'm not sure if there are prosthesis with a functional knee included and you would be worse off than you are now.

All surgeries carry risk - death, blood loss, post operative infection, poor wound healing, pain.

See your doctor[s] about this idea - see a orthopedic surgeon about this. I don't think it would be advisable from what you have written.

[dreamgirl27]

I'm almost 28 years old and lost my leg above the knee 10 years ago in a car accident. It took my right leg, which was badly broken, almost a full year to heal enough for me to be fitted with a prosthesis. I remember during that year while I was in my wheelchair, wondering if it would be worth it to just have my other leg removed as well, knowing that I may not get to keep it anyway.
Later in the year, after no progress whatsoever with the bone healing, they said they were going to amputate my right leg below the knee if it didn't show significant progress in 1 month. When it actually came to thinking about this happening, I was very distraught. I had a bone graft and also started juicing organic carrots and apples everyday. The carrots are supposed to be excellent for bone growth. Fortunately for me, all of those combined did heal my bone enough in one month for me to be able to bear weight and be fitted for a prosthesis.
Since my accident, I have been in great amounts of pain at times. I broke nearly all the bones in my body, & tore my aorta. I have experienced the pain you're speaking of when the limb is gone. It's referred to as phantom pain. It can be a very mild tingling sensation, or it can be an excruciating stabbing pain, and anywhere in between. I had many more instances of it during the beginning of my recovery. They usually get fewer as time goes by. Pain pills help, so does sex LOL. Really.
Weather or not it's right for you is a personal decision. Once you get a prosthesis fitted correctly it can definitely provide a great deal of mobility and freedom. They do not hurt when they're fitted correctly. They can be very expensive, especially if you're interested in the more "athletic" type.
I can definitely understand where you're coming from though. It's tough to be limited and in pain because of your leg. I have a 4 year old son, my boyfriend is always gone traveling, so I'm always here with him by myself, and I have no problems getting done what needs to be done for myself or my son.
You should definitely talk to a counselor and give yourself time to think through a decision like this.
I hope some of this helps.