[Colossal]

Hey guys Ive turned to friends who could not help me, I can't talk to my parents, so now I am turning to you guys.

Please read this, I know it's long but I need help.

My girlfriend and I recently broke up.

We dated for 6 months.

When we first started dating it was amazing. She was basically my first real girlfriend, I have had others but this was pretty serious. (By the way I am 18 years old). Everything was fine. I felt like I actually loved this girl we connected so well. I did everything for her, from driving her from place to place, to buying her an engraved necklace for christmas. Around months 5 and 6 we started fighting a lot over stupid . One day we hung out and she didn't kiss me at all, and we got into another fight. She then decided she wanted a break. (We had a break, during my spring break... what a great vacation)

The first 3 days of the break were amazing... I was venting out not talking to her, enjoying my life, and then one night it all hit me. I had no one to talk to about my life, I had no one to make me feel better, no one to hold or love. It was horrible.

I decided I would call her, and everything would be allright, the seriousness of the situation didn't fully hit me yet.

I called her and we talked and she said the opposite of things I wanted to hear. She said that we fight too much, so my response was that I realize that and I will stop fighting. But then her rebuttal was that it shouldn't have come to this point for me to stop, I should have stopped earlier.

And when I asked if she missed me, she would say "I don't know" and just seemed like she didn't want to get back together.

She came home for break from her college, and I hung out with her. I said I didn't want to hang out with her as just friends. (I don't understand how couples an break up and stay friends, it hurts me way too much) But I agreed that I would take her to lunch.

IT was awkward I was being really quiet, my heart was going a million miles a minute, and I wanted to kiss her every second. We ate and then we left and I tried to kiss her, to which she responded by turning her head. Then that did it, I exploded telling her how much I missed her, and wanted her back, and what she is doing to me. At that point I would have traded anything in the world to be with her. And she kept saying "I dont know" and I asked if we hung out just as friends for a couple weeks or a month if she'd be willing to take me back, and she said she didn't want to get my hopes up.

It was a lot of back and forth talking and then I dropped her off at home. Before she left I gave her the card I made for her with her favorite flowers spelling out "Im sorry forgive me."

To no avail.

I went home stunned and cried for hours, Ive never cried harder. I don't understand why she wouldn't just forgive me and take my word that I would stop fighting! It didn't make sense to me. The girl that told me she loved me. The girl that told me she never thought she could love a person as much as she loved me. The girl that jokingly stated over and over that we would be together for 10 years. That girl wouldn't even give our relationship a second chance.

What hurts the most is I know I would have stopped fighting. I never cheated on her, or even thought about it. I treated her like a goddess, and we occasionally did fight.

I hate it. And I still hate it. It's been about one month since our break, and it still hurts. I don't want to be the ex boyfriend who becomes friends and gets his hopes up. I just wanted to be with her.

I haven't spoke to her, I have ignored her because it hurts too much to talk to her. If I ever see her again I think I will faint. The worst is she's friends with my friends so Im going to have to ignore them all summer. The thought of seeing her, or hearing her voice is a horrible thought.

The thing is, I feel like I just need a girlfriend to fill the hole in my heart. I feel if someone else liked me, and we had a relationship I would be fine. But I still love her, I don't think I will ever be with someone as beautiful or as funny as she was.

Please... help me

[svatnsdal]

First, you're too young. Ya, this is a stupid answer. I am a 34 year old woman that can tell you, she doesn't want you! She is using you and just dragging you along.
First, never spend a large amount of money on a woman... okay until you're a lot older and you've been with her a lot longer.
She is using you. Walk away, you are in a... 'child love'. A lot of people go through it, but as long as you hold onto her, you are being trampled on.
Being 18, just find your own life before you try to find a love. Always put yourself first! You have years to go, hundreds of woman to meet, before you need to think about love.

[Alty]

Love hurts, especially when you are young.

This girl is doing you a favor, she isn't stringing you along, she isn't giving you false hope, she told you exactly what she wants, and what she doesn't want. Sitting around pining for her isn't going to do you any good, either is getting another girlfriend just because you're lonely.

I think it's time for you to be alone for a while and figure out what it is you want out of life. You have plenty of time to fall in love.

If you can't be friends with her than that's your choice, I understand that it would be hard to see her and talk to her and know that you can't be with her as her boyfriend.

Good Luck to you, I hope you figure it out.

[nickshehe]

This girl is doing you a favor, she isn't stringing you along, she isn't giving you false hope, she told you exactly what she wants, and what she doesn't want. Sitting around pining for her isn't going to do you any good, either is getting another girlfriend just because you're lonely.

^ ^ I agree...

First love always bites hard man.. We've all been through it.. I was with a girl for a year and a half.. She left me the night before I was starting my compulsory military service.. In a time where I needed her most, where I would be "imprisoned" in a place I was unfamiliar with.. and much like you I questioned her loyalty, her words that rolled off her tongue so easily back then.. She woke me up to the reality of things.. but unlike your ex girlfriend she took me for a ride before she let me go.. It took me 3 years to have the ability to trust again, to invest myself in a relationship..
Let her go, you'll love again, you're still young.. it hurts now.. but get it out of your head - try and learn from this experience but for your own well being you have to convince yourself that it is over..
We've all been there before and we're still alive to tell the story.. and 99% of us are on here posting stories that have occurred after that first love..
It's normal to feel hurt and betrayed and resentful.. embrace it and pick yourself up.

[talaniman]

Welcome to the world of heart breaks, my young friend, and I know it sucks big time. But this is something you will have to cope with in life. We all do, and have been in your shoes, so click on the 4 links in my signature, for some excellent ideas, of how to cope with your situation, and feel free to ask any questions you have.

[Chameleon24]

Hey there Colossal. I know how you're feeling... I'm going through it right now as well. About 3 weeks ago my "first" broke up with me. We were together for about 7 months. I loved him and in the beginning he was so crazy about me. He would always tell me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. The break up hurt... still hurts now. I hate it, but now I'm trying to look at what I learned from it. The way he broke up with me was so uncaring, like he was just trying to shove me out of his life... when just three days before that he was telling me how much he loved me and missed me when I wasn't around. It didn't make sense to me, but now three weeks later I'm looking at him in a new light. Two weeks after the break up he already got himself a new girl.

It hurts sometimes, but I realize I don't cry as much as I did before. The more I look at the negatives the more I realize that he just wasn't what I always thought he was. You and I... we're still young. I know everyone says this... but there's so many others out there in the world. Don't make yourself think that you have to rush into something else. Take it slow and a new girl will come into your life, maybe when you're not even expecting it.

It helps to just put a wall between each other. I haven't had any contact with my ex and Im doing my best at just trying to ignore his life all together. No going to myspace or Facebook. I don't want to know what he's up to. I just try to focus on me. I've been making all these plans for the summer and even making some big decisions concerning my future. I keep trying to stay strong. Get myself past this. When I think of happy memories or plans we had I get really down and I think of him with his new girl and I get angry. It sucks, but I just try to stay busy. I plan stuff on the weekends so Im not just sitting at home. It helps a lot.