[gaylebasgall]

I have been with my spouse for 24 years. We have had problems on and off for years but I never did anthing about it. I recentley moved with my children 6 blocks away to give heim a chance to change. To know that I really meant it. Anyway, I received an invitation today from a cousin to her wedding that was addressed to "The Basgall Family" on the envelope - but when I openend it it only specifically said - Gayle, Bonnie and Kevy Jr. (my two kids) - it deliberately left off my husband.

We are not divorced nor am I legally separated.

He has never done anything at all to this family that is having the wedding except bethere any thime they needed help moving, cleaning their carpet, etc. He has known this cousin getting married since she was 2 years old - she is close with my sister - they are a month apapt.

We have been together at family gatherings (we are irish) - so many times over these 24 years I could not evern give you a count.

Is it proper that they left him off?

[mydogquestion]

You say you moved out with the kids. By now your family is aware that you moved and felt that you would not want him to come since you are living separate. My guess is they were trying to spare you. If the two of you are working on things then by all means inform the family and tell them you would like your husband to come to the wedding.

I think if they know you would like him to come they would be fine. Do not judge their wording of the invitation if you have made it clear you are not breaking up.

[dontknownuthin]

You can't possibly expect people to make such fine distinctions about your marriage without trying to pry, can you? If I heard that your husband had moved out of the house, I would not feel comfortable including him on an invitation. Whether the separation is "legal" is not something you can expect other people to know - even if you've told them. I mean, rocky relationships have all kinds of nuances to the people involved, but to outsiders, I guess most think you're either together, or not. I would say that if you want your husband to come, just respond that "Mr. and Mrs" are attending. I don't think you need to call and all that in this situation... but you also shouldn't take offense.

[Alty]

I agree with the above. You are not legally separated but you aren't living together, it sounds like they assumed that you wouldn't want him at the wedding, considering that you don't even want to live with him.