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dynamic001 · Mar 12, 2008, 08:56 AM

I have a wonderful husband whom love love to bits. For the past year he's been working long hours and therefore we spend little time together.
I would not normally be attracted to any other man, but find myself thinking about one particular guy 24/7. He's extremely attractive. We've never spoken to each other, but I sometimes catch him staring at me and I can actually feel his stares. I would like to get him out of my mind.

George_1950 · Mar 12, 2008, 09:02 AM

Hi dynamic, and welcome to AMHD. Read, write and enjoy a lot. This is not good for either of you, so watch out for pitfalls as my 8th grade health textbook advised. I would suggest you and your man get to a relationship counselor, pronto. Change the venue as far as the other fellow is concerned because you are getting too close to the fire.

rodandy12 · Apr 3, 2008, 09:04 AM

It is a well known human frailty to think about attractive members of the opposite sex, even while married. I suspect it is built into the DNA. What matters is what you do about it.

If seeing him causes a problem for you, change your situation so that you do not see him.

If you are this attracted to him, he is going to be stuck in your memory for the rest of you life. You'll always remember him. You'll (as long as you are married) always have to be careful of him.

ordinaryguy · Apr 3, 2008, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by dynamic001

We've never spoken to each other

You're doing this to yourself. Snap out of it!!

Fr_Chuck · Apr 3, 2008, 01:39 PM

Where is he "staring" at you at. Don't go to the same places, change and stay away from him

talaniman · Apr 3, 2008, 10:14 PM

I would like to get him out of my mind.

Why are you around him? We all have our attractions, but we stay within bounds of our marriage, and carry on with our lives. And keep our fantasies private. If its bothering you and your weak, don't go around him.

Allheart · Apr 3, 2008, 10:44 PM

Originally Posted by dynamic001

For the past year he's been working long hours and therefore we spend little time together.

Hi Dynamic - To me, right there is your problem. It's a heck of a lot "funner" to stare at the stranger, then look into the marriage and find out why you so want to stare at this stranger, and probably glad he is staring back.

A stare, a glance, they happen. But obviously, that stare is staying in your mind way more then it should. Susbtitute atteniton I call it.

Put that attention, right back where it belongs. And if hubby is working long hours... it's for the benefit of the both of you... so let him come home and be made to feel good about those long hard worked hours.

The stranger doesn't deserve your excess attention - hubby does.

It happens, don't feel bad. We all need that little push back in the right direction... to remember, what is important and what to value, the most.

Show your hubby, just how much you do love him to bits. :)

My best to you.