Originally Posted by
workedtoohard
I have question. If you do the following you are GUARANTEED to have a girl you are dating love you (assuming you pass the initial looks and career part). Agree or Disagree?
Well I'm going to go a little easy on you because I know where you're coming from. Not all these rules are necessarily bad, but like someone else mentioned they need some serious tweaking. On top of that, these "rules" apply more to the dating phase. Once you get into the relationship it's a whole new ball game. Here we go.
Originally Posted by
workedtoohard
1. You make a point to go to spots you like with or without her, and reject one of her favorite spots every now and then. Do not hang out with her friends unless she will hang out with yours.
You should always be your own person and have your own life, especially while you are just dating. By all means go out with your friends and visit places you want to go without your girlfriend. But remember, its all about balancing your alone time as well as time with your significant other. Moreover, this whole thing about not hanging out with friends, forget that. If she refuses to hang out with your friends than you need to communicate with her about the problem. If she still doesn't accept your friends, than maybe its time to find someone else.
Originally Posted by
workedtoohard
2. Never act jealous. No matter what. Girls can't get over the fact you aren't jealous. I have heard countless stories of girls cheating on jealous guys. They always say jealousy drove them to it.
I agree with this one! Never be jealous. You must always trust your partner, without trust the relationship is doomed to fail.
Originally Posted by
workedtoohard
3. Cancel the 3rd date with a vague response "something came up, no time to talk". Then cancel every 6th or so date.
You're making it sound like there is a scientific formula to dating and relationships. There isn't, so forget this garbage. You should never cancel a date unless an emergency or something really important occurs. I understand that the chase and challenge are important, but how about just keeping yourself busy with other aspects of your life. If you do this than you simply won't be able to go on too many dates, which in turn will make your partner want to see you even more.
Originally Posted by
workedtoohard
4. No emotion if she dumps you or picks a fight. The key to avoiding conflict is quiet, agree with it (fine do what you want), and avoidance. They want to test you to see if you are weak enough to argue with their ridiculous problems, etc.
Never avoid a problem. This will only create more headaches. If a conflict occurs you should stay calm and be as understanding as possible. Take the time to listen to her point of view and make sure to also voice your opinions. In a relationship you must both learn to compromise. Be compassionate and loving, very different from not showing emotion.
Originally Posted by
workedtoohard
5. Don't tell her your secrets.
Well, when you first start dating you should definitely keep your cards close to your chest. During the dating phase you are both just beginning to learn about one another, so its both fair and good to be cautious when it comes to sharing personal secrets. Also, at this point you two are building trust, so don't ever lie when you are asked a question, just let her know that you are not ready to talk about that particular topic but in time you will be. On the other side of the coin it's also worth mentioning that you risk scaring the other person away by divulging too much information, so just go slow. However, once you get into a full-fledged relationship you can no longer keep secrets. Your partner needs and deserves to know what's going on. Secrets will destroy trust, which in turn will destroy the relationship.
Originally Posted by
workedtoohard
6. Turn down her second offer for sexual favors. They will remember you forever. Its tough.
Sorry, I don't see anything good in this one. Best to forget about this little rule.
Originally Posted by
workedtoohard
7. When she demands something unreasonable, NEVER give in to her. Popcorn? Picking her up food when she doesn't want to? Don't do it. Major weakness.
I'll agree with this one. If she is being clearly unreasonable about something than you have to put your foot down. This is especially important in the beginning of the relationship because you have to show her that you won't allow her to walk all over you. However, choose your battles wisely, sometimes its best to let things slide. For example, if she desperately wants a particular flavor of popcorn, while you want a different flavor, well than you would be wise to get the flavor she wants. A better idea would be to come up with a compromise.
Originally Posted by
workedtoohard
Summary: Respect/challenge keeps interest and prevents cheating.
Don't forget compassion, understanding, trust, compromise, communication, love, and a bunch of other stuff. Unfortunately, there is no simple set of rules that will guarantee the success of a relationship. There are some guidelines you can follow, but in the end it all comes down to finding the right balance that satisfies both you and your partner.