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tclarkpo · Apr 1, 2008, 03:34 PM

I have had a business friendship for 16 years that turned more than friends for the last 8 years and he's a married man. I became pregnant and had a baby and am now fighting for child support. He runs a 26 million dollar business and his personal taxes last year were 1.6 million. The problem is that he puts the business in his wife's name so he doesn't have to pay. I getting mixed advice from attorneys that state his income can not be touched even though he works there every day and then there's an attorney from a state department that informed me that half of the 1.6 million is touchable because it is considered community property and that he could/should pay on that amount which would be $800,000,

Anyone out there that has really good legal advice or is an attorney in California, or can refer me to an good attorney in California.

I just don't know what to do. My baby girl is soon to be 10 months old and the attorneys have just dragged this this whole process out.

Please help...

Thank you ;-)

N0help4u · Apr 1, 2008, 03:43 PM

I don't think the business money can be touched especially since it is in her name.
BUT if he is getting a paycheck or has a bank account, even if it is a joint account, you should be able to get money from that portion I would think.

Synnen · Apr 1, 2008, 03:56 PM

Send a copy of the proof of paternity and receipts and photos from your long relationship with this guy to his wife.

Bet she either gets his business in the divorce, or he proves the business is his and you get child support.

Either way, he's screwed.

twinkiedooter · Apr 1, 2008, 05:33 PM

What does the child support agency tell you about this? He should pay child support period. No ifs, ands or butts. The attorneys are playing games. Present this matter to a judge and see if he agrees that this guy should either pay or skate.

Synnen · Apr 1, 2008, 05:43 PM

I have a feeling that what's going on here is that he IS paying child support--just not as much as the OP would like him to.

cdad · Apr 1, 2008, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by tclarkpo

I have had a business friendship for 16 years that turned more than friends for the last 8 years and he's a married man. I became pregnant and had a baby and am now fighting for child support. He runs a 26 million dollar business and his personal taxes last year were 1.6 million. The problem is that he puts the business in his wifes name so he doesn't have to pay. I getting mixed advice from attorneys that state his income can not be touched even though he works there every day and then there's an attorney from a state department that informed me that half of the 1.6 million is touchable because it is considered community property and that he could/should pay on that amount which would be $800,000,

Anyone out there that has really good legal advice or is an attorney in California, or can refer me to an good attorney in California.

I just don't know what to do. My baby girl is soon to be 10 months old and the attorneys have just dragged this this whole process out.

Please help....

Thank you ;-)

When did he put the business in his wife's name ? That is what's going to tell the tale of money being exchanged. For that you need a lawyer and you need discovery process. What is the real problem at the moment? Do you feel you weren't awarded enough money ? Is he not paying court ordered child support already ?

N0help4u · Apr 1, 2008, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by Synnen

I have a feeling that what's going on here is that he IS paying child support--just not as much as the OP would like him to.

Yeah I was wondering the same.

Calidad MY guess is it was probably put in her name when it was started because women often get business loans easier than men can.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 1, 2008, 07:08 PM

First the child is not entitled to any part of the worth of the busienss, not until he dies anyway,
What you have to do is prove income though life style, the car he drives, his check book, and so on, you do that by filing motions in court for proof of income items.

The amount of child support is set off a percent of his income, not his net worth.

If his business is a corporation, only that money he receives from it, would be considered his money.

Expect a case like this to take a few years even as you fight and fight in court.

JudyKayTee · Apr 2, 2008, 06:43 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

Send a copy of the proof of paternity and receipts and photos from your long relationship with this guy to his wife.

Bet she either gets his business in the divorce, or he proves the business is his and you get child support.

Either way, he's screwed.

Got to disagree with you - Sounds more like revenge and less like a legal tactic. And you're assuming that the wife doesn't know and closed her eyes to this relationship? I would think if this has been in and out of Court the wife just MAY have an inkling already... and this wife will (presumably) be the stepmother of the child and OP presumably) will have to deal with her at one time or another.

If the business has always been held the way it is currently held - and if ownership changed to avoid support the Court will discover it - why would OP lose whatever dignity she has left by trying to destroy whatever is left of the boyfriend's marriage?

Once again - two women, one man... and the women turn in each other!

Take the legal route and follow the advice of your Attorney - if you're not happy, find another Attorney.

Synnen · Apr 2, 2008, 06:53 AM

Judy is MUCH wiser than I am on the legal stuff.

I should be less tongue-in-cheek, though, too.

I'm guessing though, that the man involved has told his wife that it was a one-time thing, it will never happen again, yadda, yadda, yadda. I really didn't mean for the women to turn on each other--but for the women to join together against the man!

Granted, from the legal viewpoint, my way of doing it isn't so smart. It IS more revenge than anything. But... I figured someone who has consulted attorneys would know much of the basic legal stuff by now anyway.

I'll go behave myself now.

Guest · Apr 2, 2008, 03:35 PM

Okay, I need to clarify some stuff. First off he has NOT paid anything and this has been tied up in the courts for 10 months now because he doesn't want anyone nosing around with his books--so there is NO order in effect right now.

The man has the business in his wife's name so he can draw Social Security. He had a surgery in 1974 and was put on disability. Since then he became gainfully self employed because he could not afford to live off SSA. Therefore in order to keep the monthly SSA he puts everything in his wife's name that way he doesn't lose it and the health benefits. The IRS doesn't care because they still get their 48% because of his tax bracket however, the SSA does... except they have not been notified yet because no one knows he has been collecting this $ because all he has to do is go to his friend/doctor and have his exam every quarter and the doctor signs off on it. The whole thing stinks! It's one of those "it's not what you know--it's who you know" kind of thing. TRUST me... I am not lying at all--the man works 6 days a week he is not disabled. Also, he is NEVER on any meds for all this pain he now claims to have.

The guy is LOADED and the attorneys said it could take $20K to fight this and do all the discovery. I don't have that kind of money. They want to write up some sort of agreement that will state x amount of dollars (cheap$$) and put a clause in there that will state I CAN NEVER take him back to court to amend the order.

They have offered me $587 a month. WHATEVER... that doesn't even cover milk/daycare

Oh, plus is doesn't want any time share with her at all. He's a real CHARMER!

One more thing, his share from the business (his wife's draw) is $1.6million. His share is from SSA is 17,000.00 a year.

Sincerely,
The mom

I didn't sign in because it takes forever to load here on this PC

JudyKayTee · Apr 2, 2008, 05:01 PM

[QUOTE=Guest]Okay, I need to clarify some stuff. First off he has NOT paid anything and this has been tied up in the courts for 10 months now because he doesn't want anyone nosing around with his books--so there is NO order in effect right now.

The man has the business in his wife's name so he can draw Social Security. He had a surgery in 1974 and was put on disability. Since then he became gainfully self employed because he could not afford to live off SSA. Therefore in order to keep the monthly SSA he puts everything in his wife's name that way he doesn't lose it and the health benefits. The IRS doesn't care because they still get their 48% because of his tax bracket however, the SSA does... except they have not been notified yet because no one knows he has been collecting this $ because all he has to do is go to his friend/doctor and have his exam every quarter and the doctor signs off on it. The whole thing stinks! It's one of those "it's not what you know--it's who you know" kind of thing. TRUST me... I am not lying at all--the man works 6 days a week he is not disabled. Also, he is NEVER on any meds for all this pain he now claims to have.

The guy is LOADED and the attorneys said it could take $20K to fight this and do all the discovery. I don't have that kind of money. They want to write up some sort of agreement that will state x amount of dollars (cheap$$) and put a clause in there that will state I CAN NEVER take him back to court to amend the order.

They have offered me $587 a month. WHATEVER... that doesn't even cover milk/daycare

Oh, plus is doesn't want any time share with her at all. He's a real CHARMER!

One more thing, his share from the business (his wife's draw) is $1.6million. His share is from SSA is 17,000.00 a year.

All of this aside it makes me sad for everyone - you, him and particularly your child - that you were involved with this man all those years, had a child by him, tiptoed around behind his wife's back and apparently knew what a - for lack of a better word - scoundrel he was. When he was busy taking advantage of the system and lying to his wife, where were you? You didn't think he'd do it to you next?

There's a great book out there - you should read it. It's by Joy Fielding and it's called The Other Woman. Fascinating.

You seem to know all about what he is/was doing - and now it bothers you, now that you need/want money it upsets you? Again, you thought somehow you would be different than the rest of the people he was doing dirty - including his wife?

Sorry - I have no sympathy. I really don't. Many women don't get involved with married men. For some it's a question of morals or breaking up a marriage - or some day being in your shoes. You picked this loser. Your child didn't pick either one of you for parents and yet it's the child who will ultimately suffer.

N0help4u · Apr 2, 2008, 05:05 PM

Next time find a guy that doesn't have any strings attached or things to hide

tclarkpo · Apr 3, 2008, 07:58 AM

Okay, I did NOT pick this guy. Like I said he was a business associate of mine from a company my ex-husband and I held. My husband and I divorced and I went on my merry way. A year or so later after I left that business I start getting cards in the mail... stating let be friends-do lunch-catch up on some stuff. I never thought twice about anything; after all, I was involved in another relationship with someone new. Anyway, we remained "friends only" for a solid 8 years. I then divorced again from my second husband and still remained friends with my ex-business friend. Well, as time passed, some how we became involved sexually. I really never set out for it. I think it was mostly someone I turned to for support during a rough time for me that led to more than what it should have. You know, I can accept fault and criticism for some things; however, I know for FACT that this is NOT something I sought for. He came looking for me--being persistent on remaining friends when he was married. On another note, not that it matters, but he does not have a normal marriage with his wife. They share the same household, but not the same bed. They have a 10,000 sq ft home and live on opposite ends. This I know for a FACT! I don't know why they stay married to each other anyway--they don't have kids together or anything, The whole situation is screwy.

JudyKayTee · Apr 3, 2008, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by tclarkpo

Okay, I did NOT pick this guy. Like I said he was a business associate of mine from a company my ex-husband and I held. My husband and I divorced and I went on my merry way. A year or so later after I left that business I start getting cards in the mail...stating let be friends-do lunch-catch up on some stuff. I never thought twice about anything; after all, I was involved in another relationship with someone new. Anyway, we remained "friends only" for a solid 8 years. I then divorced again from my second husband and still remained friends with my ex-business friend. Well, as time passed, some how we became involved sexually. I really never set out for it. I think it was mostly someone I turned to for support during a rough time for me that led to more than what it should have. You know, I can accept fault and criticism for some things; however, I know for FACT that this is NOT something I sought for. He came looking for me--being persistent on remaining friends when he was married. On another note, not that it matters, but he does not have a normal marriage with his wife. They share the same household, but not the same bed. They have a 10,000 sq ft home and live on opposite ends. This I know for a FACT! I don't know why they stay married to each other anyway--they don't have kids together or anything, The whole situation is screwy.

Unless he drugged you or hit you over the head with a hammer before having sex with you you chose this man. "Some how {you} became involved sexually" doesn't quite explain it to me. And you turned to him for support and he took advantage - for eight years?

In my opinion how/where/why his wife live, whether they live together, whatever else is going on does not change the fact that he was (and apparently is) married. Plenty of people are married to invalids or their partner is in a nursing home and they aren't running the streets with business associates so "separate bedrooms" doesn't give either one of you license - again, only my opinion.

Again - you knew he was, at best, dishonest, you know of his deceit and fraud - and now it matters to you - ?

And, yes, the whole situation is screwy.

But that's not your question - your question was, as I recall, about child support and proving assets and only an Attorney and Judge can make that determination.

tclarkpo · Apr 3, 2008, 08:27 AM

To the best of my knowledge, I have not posted a private message. I just signed up for this board and not quite sure how to use the whole thing yet.

Yep, child support was my question and still is. As for morals, you are right, that was a bad judgement on my part to have sex with a married man. However, I do think certain situations do matter. I recently found out that my second husband and I are still married legally but have lived in separate states for 8 years now. So, just being married to someone does not mean that constitutes a relationship or marriage with someone.

You are right again when you state that this is not my daughters fault. This is my fault, but she should not have to suffer because her parents made bad decisions. Asking the court to make him pay more only goes to help her and provide for her.

As for his deceit and fraud is not a matter to me; it's matters to the future of his daughter. If he wants to steal from the government, that's on him. I don't steal from people. Mistakes I have made I have acknowledge and will live with them and have learned from them. I can honestly say, it will NEVER happen again. Prejudging people before knowing the entire situation is wrong because I think some times there a certain situations that are the exception to the rule.

I like how you state "unless you were drugged or hit the head with a hammer" I chose him. Funny statement, because that is EXACTLY what my second husband did to me. Sometimes peoples past experiences have a cause and effect. Like I said, when I turned to him I had been going through a really REALLY bad time in my life with the split of my second marriage. None of this matters though because this case is not about me and my dishonesty with a married man. This is about milk, diapers, daycare, and necessities that a little one needs.

JudyKayTee · Apr 3, 2008, 09:02 AM

[QUOTE=tclarkpo]To the best of my knowledge, I have not posted a private message. I just signed up for this board and not quite sure how to use the whole thing yet.

That wasn't meant for you - it's part of my signature. I'm pretty much a "regular" and so people tend to ask questions privately and I discourage it.

tclarkpo · Apr 3, 2008, 12:27 PM

Judy,

Are you a legal assistant or a lawyer of some type? Just wondering is all.

JudyKayTee · Apr 3, 2008, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by tclarkpo

Judy,

Are you a legal assistant or a lawyer of some type? Just wondering is all.

Am a Paralegal by education (actually an English major), one year of law school, worked the field for the "Feds," now I investigate/evaluate liability cases for law firms - all types of liability, every now and then criminal, motor vehicle, whatever; surveillances (matrimonial, insurance, bar). Get called to give expert witness testimony on occasion. Also monitor Courts (and hang around in Courtrooms) on occasion for a not-for-profit. I do a little bit of defense work now and then.

I also hang around with Attorneys and Police Officers and pick their brains - NOTE: Attorneys will pay for lunch; Police Officers make you buy your own! Also a lot of continuing ed classes.

I "think" I have some experience, common sense and a really good gut reaction - most of the time.