[oconnell1015]

My father is a great man, but in the last few years, things have gotten really bad in our family since my mother became severely depressed and tried to kill herself. He has become the complete provider for the family, while my mom sits by, silent. My brother is 14 and things are becoming too tense between him and my dad. My dad is also an alcoholic who only recently began drinking heavily again. He has never raised his hand to any of us, I am not worried for my brother's physical safety, but his mental and emotional sanity! My father also barely has enough money to put food on the table, let alone pay for any extras. Things are getting worse and worse, his grades are slipping, he stays out with friends all day and comes home as late as possible. My father has never had to discipline before so has not been able to set any rules. My brother is a great kid and he isn't acting out or anything, he's just trying to stay away from my father because he doesn't know what else to do. When this all started my brother was 10 and my mom was still tucking him into bed at night, now he goes to bed at 2am and only because he can't sleep when he goes to bed, I believe because of the stress of everything. I would like to have my brother move in with me, my husband and our 2 year old son, but I'm not sure if there are certain things we have to take care of first. Does my father give up his parental rights, does he pay us child support, is there aid for this kind of a thing through the government? If anyone has had any sort of experience with this sort of situation, I would appreciate any help greatly. Thank you!

[charlotte234s]

First things first, talk to your father. If he will not cooperate and allow the brother to live with you, sign away custody, and pay child support, get a lawyer and petition for custody based on the fact that your father is an alcoholic and is having great trouble providing for the family, and you wish to give your brother a better home. If you have any proof of the drinking or hardships, it would make your case easier to win.

[Gernald]

Do you live in the UK, Canada or the US? I think the laws may be different for different countries which is why I ask...
Have you talked to your father about this? He can't live with you if your father won't let him. All you really need is his permission. Second, Have you talked to your brother?
The first step in the US would be to become a legal guardian, this way you can make decisions if you need to, you wouldn't be able to over ride any decisions your father makes but it's a start.
As for the child support, that depends on if you want it or not. Maybe ask your dad if he can pay so much a month or just provide enough for meals. You said he has money problems so approch this topic carefully.

I know you said funds are short but is it possible that your brother has clinical depression? Has he seen a doctor at all, because it tends to run in families and seeing as your mom did try to kill herself I think it's safe to say it could have been inherited and he can get medication to help treat it (Just an idea.)

Not trying to turn you off but think about your wife and child too, How will this affect them? What does your wife think about your brother moving in? Is your brother good around small children? And do you think this will solve the problem? (I hope it does but you never know).

Hope everything works out all right, I know what it's like to have a psycho mom so I hope your brother can get out of that situation before it's too late.