[cheynestoking]

I recently started dating a girl a couple of months ago and we got on really well, however in the last week she has been in contact with her ex who she dumped in November after being with him for 4 years in what she described as a stale relationship. So I figured fair enough I'll give her time but I have my doubts as I have been in a similar situation before and it usually ends up with them getting back together. She told me the other night he was even talking about marrying her and now she doesn't know what to think. I'm in two minds whether to tell her that I'm not putting my life on hold for her, as in my opinion why would she want to get back with someone who did nothing for her. He told her he's changed and the usual lines but I just feel like telling her a leopard never changes his spots and for a while it might seem good but who knows 6 months or so down the line she'll be bored of him again, but is it my place to say that. I've decided not to contact her now and start dating other women until she decides what she wants, the thing is I can't stop thinking about her... HELP!!

[talaniman]

If she is that confused, then you are doing the right thing leaving her alone, and not contacting her. It takes time to get over someone you had feelings for, but moving on is a darn good first step. Waiting for a female to change her mind about you, is a waste of time and energy, that could be best used to heal and live without her. Congrats on your choice. Just be patient, and proactive in building a life without her, and time will do the rest.

[JBeaucaire]

You don't have to stop thinking about her. But when you DO think about her, don't filter your thoughts to include only the good stuff, remember to think about it ALL. She's fickle, wishy-washy, potentially fatally hooked on an old boyfriend, and put you on "hold" the first time another shot at her ex came up.

Remember ALL that along with the good stuff you miss and you'll be just fine.

When you're solidly entrenched in your next big relationship, it will get much easier. You can't control who you love, you may not be able to stop yourself from thinking about her, but you CAN keep from pointlessly stagnating yourself over those feelings. Eh?

Get to it, dude.

[cheynestoking]

Thanks for the advice there weren't really any bad times though as we were only seeing each other for a couple of months, but I know what you mean. I'll just leave her too get on with her own thing for a while and see what happens she knows where I am if she wants to talk or to tell me what's on her mind