[lucy_juice]

Me and this guy has been dating on and off for 5 years and we have been broke up for awhile and he lives kind of far away but every time he comes down to visit he aways comes and see me and we always hang out and all of my feelings come back I mean we always end up acting like we are going out and he still acts like he cares and I don't know what to do he is coming Friday and I don't want to do this anymore I mean if he wants to be with then I'm okay with that so what do I do??

[kimanne021]

I was in this very same predictament about a year ago! I dated a guy for almost 5 years like this! He lived in another city but always came to visit me when he was in my city visiting his parents. The truth is, he comes to you because he is comfortable with you and probably still cares for you, but doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship. Plus, you are allowing him to come in and out of your life whenever it's convenient for him. The only thing you can do is cut him off! Sounds like he is a comittment phobe like my last boyfriend was. He probably even has a girlfriend where he lives but wants his cake and eat it too. That's how my last boyfriend was. Cut him off and move on!

[oneguyinohio]

i dont want to do this anymore

Saying that should do the trick.

[JBeaucaire]

You can soft-pedal the backing off period too. Tell him: "I'm looking forward to seeing you when you come to town, but I'm booked solid that whole weekend. Are you free for a quick lunch around 2pm Saturday at Starbucks?"

Regardless of his answer, he will get your message.