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    avalee's Avatar
    avalee Posts: 9, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 21, 2008, 09:04 PM
    How can I tell if he wants a serious relationship?
    So here's the deal... met this guy last year a few weeks before he got deployed to iraq. We went out a couple of times, then he was serving over there for about 7 months. Within this time, we wrote letters and kept in touch. He got back a couple of months ago, and we have been seeing each other on a regualr basis ever since.

    He went home on leave, and asked me to fly up and stay a few days in his hometown. I met his family, and most of his friends. His actions tell me he wants a relationship, but he is not verbally very open with me and I have a hard time reading him. Recently, on his myspace bulletin, when asked about his relationship status he put "not sure". I care for this guy a great deal, I am crazy for him! In a good way lol... please help me with this! I am scared that if I ask him point blank how he feels, it mihgt scare him away. He makes a lot of effort to see me... I just feel we are holding back from each other. What do you guys think?
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #2

    Mar 21, 2008, 09:19 PM
    A lot of the time when men come back from their tours of Iraw they are not very open. Some of the brave men see a lot of messed up stuff and it makes them close up without them noticing it. If this man introduced you to his family I'm guessing he considers it a possibility of a relationship. I believe you should just ask him straight up. I don't think it would scare him away but maybe he's a little shy to come right out and ask you. If you intend to have a relationship with this man, you should at least be able to talk to him. Just let him know what you feel. I have a feeling things will turn out good. Good Luck!
    sasachel's Avatar
    sasachel Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 21, 2008, 09:21 PM
    It sounds like the man really likes you. And if he introduced you to his family that indicates he feels comfortable with you and that he wants his family to get to know you, usually to possibly start a relationship in the future. But if you want to have a relationship, all relationships are formed on communication. You need to tell him how you feel. And Ask him how he feels about the relationship. You might be surprised on what he says to say. Because some guys have a hard time at expressing their true emotions. So you guys need to talk and go from there.
    avalee's Avatar
    avalee Posts: 9, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Mar 21, 2008, 09:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by hollylovesbrandon
    a lot of the time when men come back from their tours of Iraw they are not very open. Some of the brave men see a lot of messed up stuff and it makes them close up without them noticing it. If this man introduced you to his family i'm guessing he considers it a possibility of a relationship. I believe you should just ask him straight up. I don't think it would scare him away but maybe he's a lil shy to come right out and ask you. If you intend to have a relationship with this man, you should atleast be able to talk to him. Just let him know what you feel. I have a feeling things will turn out good. Good Luck!

    Thanks so much for your answer... I do think he is shy in some ways about telling me how he feels... the funny thing is, a few days before I went to his homeotwn, he texted me and told me that I make him happy and that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I of course, said I would love to. The thing is, he was drinking at the time at a bar so I wasn't sure if he was completely serious. When I asked him about it a couple of days later, he told me "not to worry about the question he asked me".
    So since then, the subject of are we or aren't we has not come up. He is so hard to read! :)
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #5

    Mar 21, 2008, 11:35 PM
    I bet he's NOT hard to read at all, you're just trying to read him like he's a girl. He's not. He's a guy.

    Let's ignore his shyness, his myspace quotes, his awkward responses to relationship questions. OK. What's left? What he DOES.

    Now I read your post and I find a guy that is attentive, draws you into his life and his family, tries to make a place for you. Sounds like he's speaking loud and clear to me.

    Read a guy by his actions. If he does all those things and says "I'm not sure" that just means his head has trouble with something his heart is already onboard with you.

    Now if his ACTIONS start turning towards "I'm not sure", then you have something to work on. Right now, it all looks great!
    avalee's Avatar
    avalee Posts: 9, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #6

    Mar 22, 2008, 08:15 AM
    Thanks for all of your anwers... it really does help to hear some outside feedback... although I must admit I am still feeling a little insecure at the moment about how he feels about me. His actions up until now have def been right on. He makes a lot of effort to see me. I guess I just wanted some reassurnce from him that his feelings are developing for me and growing like mine are for him. This week he has been kind of distant, and he drove home for a couple of days for the easter holiday. He didn't ask me to go with him, and that bothered me a little. Although I know that he may just want a cople of days to himself. But he has barley texted me or called me within the last couple of days. Should I just let him be for now??
    avalee's Avatar
    avalee Posts: 9, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #7

    Mar 22, 2008, 09:27 AM
    Anyone else have any thoughts? I still haven't heard from him... :( I don't know if he is pulling away...

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