[swanson10]

Is there anyone here who has actually gotten back together with their ex after a "break"? It seems like most people just completely move on from their relationship.

I am currently on a "break" with my girlfriend of 2.5 years because she wanted it. However, it feels more and more like a break up. She claims she just doesn't want a boyfriend right now, doesn't want to hook up or date others. She still contacts me which I thought was OK for a while, but it just became frustrating and I don't think that she was really thinking about things. I feel like we are in a runt and going nowhere, so a complete, no contact, break will force her to make up her mind. So now I have asked for no contact for at least 2 weeks and then one of us can contact the other (of course I am not going to be the one to initiate it).

Just curious if this right the move. I realize that I need to do this for her, but more importantly for myself. Before this relationship I had an almost 6 year relationship that ended which I never thought I would recover from, but I eventually did. So I know no matter what, in the long run I will be OK. Just wondering if breaks for any have resulted in them getting back with their ex?

[emopunk7]

I did... but it took 7 months.

[canefan1012]

My ex gf of two years and I had a couple of those breaks when I went away for college during my freshman yr. (her senior yr of high school) she said that it was too emotionally painful to be apart . then once more during my sophomore year. We got back to together each time but the last time it did not work out and she broke up with me for good last month. She just said that she loved me but didn't know why we couldn't make it work. From what I have experienced and seen others, a relationship after a break rarely works out and if it does it is short lived before another break is needed or the relationship as whole just breaks down.

[Mikyy]

Wow, sounds like my girlfriend dude, the whole, "I don't want to hook up or date others"... riiight, later I find out she is sleeping with someone. I posted a thread about it on this site.

It's hilarious how she suddenly wants to be with me though when that guy she screwed ends up being a prick. Funny. How come I didn't matter before?

=\

I can see how relationships after "breaks" never work out. A person only wants a break to play the field without feeling guilty about it.

[talaniman]

After a break, we refuse to give our ex the space they need, to miss us, or decide if they want to move on, so we resort to all kinds of sweet talk, and begging, which usually results in them being really turned off, and they feel like looking elsewhere. After a break it's important for you to get back in touch with who you were, and how you can deal with the things you see in yourself, to be who you are. Learning to cope with our feelings and trials and tribulations of life, is the lesson we must learn, to be able to see what must be done next. No Contact, after a break up, gives us that chance to accept reality, and do what it takes to love ourselves again. That's so important, as we have fallen into a rut, of depending too much on our partner, for us to be happy.

[jolienoire]

[QUOTE=swanson10]Is there anyone here who has actually gotten back together with their ex after a "break"? QUOTE]



Yes I have , but you must know that space is needed... for both parties, and some people enjoy their space and never go back to their ex, while others realize that they really love and want to be with this person and try at it again, but the thing about going back to the past is it can either have benefits or repercussions benefits depending on how your relationship was before the breakup and repercussions if the relationship was just bad all together and you get back with the hopes that they changed, but still fault them for the past. Those reuions usually almost hardly ever work out.



BTW, I got back with my ex 10 years later ( didn't keep any contact with him for those 10 years) when we finally seen each other we felt like we did when we were in HS 10 years ago , but we were totally different people mentally even though we have our problems now, as most relationships go through ups and downs sometimes breakups to makeups. However there is really no time limit on when you will get back together.. could be weeks, months, days, even years...

[CSW6314]

My friend is in a similar situation. Her ex wanted her back after taking like a 7month break an starting up a whole new relationship an realizing that my friend was the better woman for him. Its all so confusing... if you really love her an is meant to be with her then itwill be.
If she wants her break then give it to her. I agree with your no contact. Slowly gives yourself time to heal. Good luck to you