[customofhpnj]

I have been single almost 6 years,I have been on a dating service and have had over 300 matches in 3years.I have actually met about 60 ladys.I am now 70 and the matches have ranged from 60 -70 years of age.
I am not heavy,I AM healthy, exercize regulary,think I am fairly good looking,and not a couch potato.
For some reason I cannot find someone that is willing to make a commitment and have a relationship.For the life of me I cannot understand why they are on these sites if they don't want a relationship. WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO GET SOME LADY TO LOOK AT ME AS A POTENTIAL MATE , ARE THEY LOOKING MR PERFECT?
Totally frustrated:

[Fr_Chuck]

Many are looking for friends, travel companions and maybe even house mates, but many are not interested in a lot more. Do you do activities at local senior centers ? And perhaps you need to look more at that 50 to60 age group, ( find you a young one)

[whyohwhy]

When it comes to dating websites... I think that is a problem at any age. There are so many people on there that are recently out of a relationship and not ready for long term, some that are still in a relationship and looking for a fling and some that just want to date and that's it.

Other problems that I had were:

Picture was old and/or unclear.
Lied about age.
Would never meet me. Just wanted to chat via email or phone.

I have known people that have gotten married that met on match.com... but, it never worked for me.

Try other things, other places...

Do a search in your area for an activities group.
Take a cooking or ballroom dancing class.
Join a bowling team or sailing club (you don't need to have a boat).
Take a class at your local communtiy college (writing, art, etc.)

I could suggest more if I knew what your interests were.

[JBeaucaire]

May be time for a whole new location. If this is of primary importance and you aren't succeeding where you live, consider a move to a larger city.

[acealot1]

I may not be at the right age to answer this but what I personally feel is that you should not aim at finding a potential life-long companion as a start.
Try getting a few good friends , then try to establish a closer relationship with one whom you enjoy being with. I agree with WhyohWhy on his point.

Sorry if I offended you sir , but I honestly respect you and I hope that you can understand what I mean.
And most of all , good luck! =) Stay Happy , Don't worry , you're a fine guy!

[mafiaangel180]

There's always church singles dances...

[Wondergirl]

Join a book discussion group at the public library (or start one!). Women like such things and you will end up reading some terrific books. And if the women in the group are too young or are married, they will have mothers or mils or aunts or friends your age, so be delightful and engaging and be sure to read the books so you can put in your two cents!

[Suelle383]

My mom met her new husband (she's 58, he 72) at a "parents without partners" dance. So I'd say any sort of "dances" in you town, like a VFW, Masonic lodge, Seniors center, etc. seem to be good places. I also concur that maybe you should try the 50-60 age group as well... My mom was a young widow at 50 and she was very much looking for another lifetime commitment after that.

[purplewings]

What does a lifetime mate mean to you? For many it means someone to cook and clean, or change the bedding - and that's not what the woman is looking for at all. Especially women 55 on up. They've already done that stuff and now want other things. Travel, romance, new friendships, new interests. Cards, casinos, shopping, a cruise, dancing... For some, it's our turn to be a little selfish.

Just don't make the mistake of letting her think you want a housekeeper to take care of your needs. That would make her run. Treat her like she's special and it will come back to you.

I was on Yahoo Personals and Match.com and met many men. I was able to be selective with my dating. I dated younger and older men. I've gone to movies and plays, and out to lunch and dinners, even traveled to Europe. I remain friends with almost all, even if there is no romantic chemistry, there is something there that I like or I wouldn't have gone out with them at all. I've dated one fellow for over 3 years on a weekly basis. I like him but have no desire to marry him and he knows it - we enjoy going places together anyway.

Be careful not to push. It takes time. Just don't give up. All you need to do is meet ONE person - if it's the right one.

Lunch with a cuppa something and a sandwich is a great way to get to know someone's personality. If that is a turn off - it should be a good bye. Good luck!

[450donn]

At that age, most people are looking for financial security. If you are coming across like you have no money, many women at that age are worried they will be stuck in the poor house when you die.

[JudyKayTee]

I have been single almost 6 years,I have been on a dating service and have had over 300 matches in 3years.I have actually met about 60 ladys.I am now 70 and the matches have ranged from 60 -70 years of age.
I am not heavy,I AM healthy, exercize regulary,think I am fairly good looking,and not a couch potatoe.
For some reason I cannot find someone that is willing to make a commitment and have a relationship.For the life of me I cannot understand why they are on these sites if they don't want a relationship. WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO GET SOME LADY TO LOOK AT ME AS A POTENTIAL MATE , ARE THEY LOOKING MR PERFECT?
Totaly frustrated:

When I was single I could smell desperation a mile away - if you are too eager, trying to hard, I found it to be alarming.

Sixty women and none of them clicked? I would re-evaluate the search.

[purplewings]

People of all ages hope for financial security, but it's been my experience that women over 60 are generally well situated financially having worked & saved for many years. Now they only want a man of equal status who treats them well.

[JudyKayTee]

At that age, most people are looking for financial security. If you are coming across like you have no money, many women at that age are worried they will be stuck in the poor house when you die.

Gee, 450donn - I suffered through your statistic that children of divorce are 50% more likely to "arrive" in the criminal justice system; I suffered through the Catholic Church thinks it's a sin for Priests to marry but God doesn't (I really don't know, I just don't think anyone is an authority on this); I can't suffer through this one! My legal mind is spinning.

Maybe most of the people YOU know are looking for financial security; maybe most of the women YOU know are worried they will be stuck in the poorhouse but I do not believe this is the majority. "Many women" at "that age" are financially secure and responsible - men don't have a lock on finances and responsibility.

I can only speak for NYS but statistics here prove - and I would have to find them - that men carry more life insurance than women, men die at an earlier age, women end up (minimally) with the proceeds of the life insurance; women, on the other hand, carry much less life insurance and widowers, therefore, end up with less money.

I am sure the figures are changing because more and more women work but the OP is in his 70's, I believe, and so these figures would affect his dating pool.

[450donn]

Gee, 450donn - I suffered through your statistic that children of divorce are 50% more likely to "arrive" in the criminal justice system; I suffered through the Catholic Church thinks it's a sin for Priests to marry but God doesn't (I really don't know, I just don't think anyone is an authority on this); I can't suffer through this one! My legal mind is spinning.

Maybe most of the people YOU know are looking for financial security; maybe most of the women YOU know are worried they will be stuck in the poorhouse but I do not believe this is the majority. "Many women" at "that age" are financially secure and responsible - men don't have a lock on finances and responsibility.

I can only speak for NYS but statistics here prove - and I would have to find them - that men carry more life insurance than women, men die at an earlier age, women end up (minimally) with the proceeds of the life insurance; women, on the other hand, carry much less life insurance and widowers, therefore, end up with less money.

I am sure the figures are changing because more and more women work but the OP is in his 70's, I believe, and so these figures would affect his dating pool.

WOW! Sorry I offended some "experts" here. I thought this was a place for ideas and suggestions? Guess that only applies to the "experts". Which I have never claimed to be. My thoughts and ideas are based on my life and my experiences. People are free to accept or ignore them as they choose.


Then what is with your "suffered through" comment if not sarcasm?

[JBeaucaire]

63% of all statistics are made up 42% of the time.