[confuseddad1106]

Im a divorced father of a 5 year old son.. I was divorced when he was 3 and at the time I was unable to afford attorney(big mistake).. I was awareded a 5 hour a week visit with my son.,. I do work nights so it was hard to get wekday time and because I was a sound sleeper we felt overnights were not in his best interest.. I am now remarried and I really want more time with my son.Someone else is there to help me overnight if needed.I pay my child support on time every week.We have joint custody.She offers me extra time when she knows its completely impossible for me to take him.In turn throws it at me that I just don't want to see him.She lives at home with her parents and pays no bils other than car insurance and cell phone.She has the money to "buy" him.I feel that is wrong and will not even try to compete with it.My son has asked for sleepovers and she has told him no.I don't know what to do.I do know I need to seek legal help but I do not have a lot of money to fight her in a court battle that will be paid for by her parents.I can't take him to parks ,events ,vacations anything that would go over my 5 hour time is not allowed.I feel he's mising out on so much.Our state offers an option to modify visits but in doing that I would have to modify my childsupport as well.I could not possibly afford to pay her anymore.I pay her now more than required by law.I also pay for his medical,dental.and vision.So even a slight increase would be too much.Before I get out there and lose a ton of money.can someone please offer me advice.

[oneguyinohio]

Perhaps looking into the modifications through a lawyer will be helpful. Not sure if you are in a position to go for equal custody timewise, but that could give you a lot more time with him.

The one thing my ex didn't do is try to keep me away from my son, and is very flexible with schedules etc, so fortuneately, I have not had to deal with that issue.

Also, not sure if your income has gone up or not, but if you increase the time you are with him, that might be grounds for a reduction in what you have to pay her... since you will be spending more while he is with you.

Your record of child support payments and keeping insurance is in your favor, and justifies your desire to have increased time with him.

I don't know if you are located near each other or if the increased visits would interfere with his school... etc... but summers, or holidays, might also be an option for you.

Your work schedule may have some impact on the situation, as they could argue that you won't be with him anyway. To that, I would suggest being able to show what your work schedule is, and well as hours that you sleep... then being able to show what waking hours you will be able to be with him... when he is not in school... such as weekends and holidays. It might be helpful to counter any arguments that they could use. Also, the fact that you are remarried, is in your favor... in my opinion... as opposed to not having a second person available... for his care.

Talking with a lawyer could at least give you some insights into what outcomes they have experienced in cases similar to yours... as far as financial obligations being increased or if the request for additional time is well received by the courts. If nothing else, at least you will know that you tried, and the record will be there for your son if he ever wonders why you didn't try.

Good luck. I hope you are able to gain that additional time with your son! The time I spend with my son is the most rewarding of anything in my life.

[ScottGem]

Bottomline is you need to petition the court for modification of the visitation agreement. If the mom won't work with you, then you have to get the court to order it. You can try representing yourself in such a petition but I wouldn't advise it. Try seeing if legal aid can help.