Why do they take it out on me

bekii · Mar 18, 2008, 07:20 AM

Hiiiii... x

when me and my brother were young we used to be really close

but

then he got cancer we were about 8/9
and he was hospital for a long time I kind of forgot about hiim till he come home

Then I remeberd how close we were I tried to make him feel better cos my mom told me he had gone away because he was ill now he has come back cos he is better so I wanted to make him feel welcome he was in hospital for 9 months...

when he come back he was on pills because they found out he had ADHD and he used to get really bad but now it feels like he hates me he never speaks to me or nothing I miss my other brother...

I WANT HIM HOME :(

mafiaangel180 · Mar 18, 2008, 07:40 AM

So what's your question?

Quite honestly, I would be hurt if I was him. You forgot about him for the nine months he was in the hospital undergoing cancer therapy?

bekii · Mar 19, 2008, 07:12 AM

My question is why does he hate me so much now...

Can chemotherapy cause that!!

=( xxxx

N0help4u · Mar 19, 2008, 06:42 PM

He probably is having a hard time adjusting to everything he has been through.
Try and do things to make him comfortable and happy. If you are getting some candy or a snack ask him if he wants you to get him some too. Tell him how you feel and ask him what you can do to make things better between you two.

mafiaangel180 · Mar 20, 2008, 04:51 AM

Yeah, definitely try to be there for him. Make him comfey. Talk to him, listen to him. This is a difficult time for him, and I'm sure his emotions are running ramped.

J_9 · Mar 20, 2008, 05:53 AM

How old are the two of you now?

bekii · Mar 20, 2008, 07:10 AM

Were in are teens now

bekii · Mar 20, 2008, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

He probably is having a hard time adjusting to everything he has been through.
Try and do things to make him comfortable and happy. If you are getting some candy or a snack ask him if he wants you to get him some too. Tell him how you feel and ask him what you can do to make things better between you two.

Ty that is really good advice :rolleyes:

Mom of 2 · Mar 20, 2008, 07:37 AM

If you were so close, I don't understand how you could "forget" about a family member who was in the hospital fighting cancer. What exactly does that mean? You never went to visit him in the hospital? You never called? You never sent a card? Anything? I would be upset if I were living with such a disease, only to find that someone I was close to could not take the time to visit me, let alone "forget" about me. My father died of cancer and we were at the hospital every single day (for a period of about 6 months) until the day he died. I'm not saying that someone should be at the hospital every single day, because it is a lot to ask, but visiting once a week I think would be doable. However, was the hospital a long way away? If it was, I am sure that there were telephone lines going into his room and that mail service delivered to the hospital.

I'm glad that he is now out of the hospital and hopefully is doing better. There are not only physical issues with cancer, but there are a lot of emotional issues. Yes, chemotherapy can wreak havoc on a person physically as well as emotionally.

Please remember this though, you can't go back and undo what was done in the past. Be there for him now and in the future. Don't "forget" about him. Let him know that you are there for him. The ADHD medication may also have an effect on his personality.

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