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    Questions2007's Avatar
    Questions2007 Posts: 127, Reputation: 26
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    #1

    Mar 19, 2008, 04:21 AM
    Should I contact my ex and tell her this or not?
    I have stuck to NC with my ex for 7 months. We broke up just over a year ago. After a few months of me agreeing to her "lets be friends" suggestion, I decided that wasn't working, she was treating me as a surrogate boyfriend. So I told her I thought we should try again, she said no, I implemented NC.

    Something pretty big has happened recently in that I have become an Uncle. She knew the baby was on the way not long before I started NC.

    I was debating whether to contact her and tell her the news. Perhaps by a text. It may even open avenues of communication (which I realise could be a bad or good thing).

    Should I contact her and tell her this or am I looking for excuses to break NC?
    duck22's Avatar
    duck22 Posts: 115, Reputation: 31
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    #2

    Mar 19, 2008, 05:33 AM
    I do not see any good in sending this text to her because I see it simply as an excuse to break no contact. However, if you decide to send it I suggest keeping it direct and to the point. Just do not try to send anything along the lines of "brother had a baby... want to grab lunch?" You will just set yourself up for that one.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #3

    Mar 19, 2008, 05:38 AM
    I agree with duck... what will you gain from telling her this?
    the1unv's Avatar
    the1unv Posts: 285, Reputation: 31
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    #4

    Mar 19, 2008, 06:03 AM
    If you do feel the need to send her a text... keep it short... along the lines of :
    "I'm an Uncle"... that would do it.
    Mike
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Mar 19, 2008, 06:09 AM
    Sorry, I can see no reason to share this with the ex, and after 7 months, its not her business. Keep no contact, and celebrate with those that care.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #6

    Mar 19, 2008, 06:24 AM
    Questions... First of all... CONGRATS on becoming an uncle! Second, I must agree with everyone above, this is not something she needs to know. Share with people that matter to you and have been in your life the past 7 months.
    Questions2007's Avatar
    Questions2007 Posts: 127, Reputation: 26
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    #7

    Mar 19, 2008, 03:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    Sorry, I can see no reason to share this with the ex, and after 7 months, its not her business. Keep no contact, and celebrate with those that care.
    To be honest, the answers here pretty much confirm what I was inclined to do. I just wanted an impartial second opinion (which you guys are always great for!).

    The view that I take is that any contact (for whatever reason) should come from her, not me. She broke up with me, I owe her nothing in the way of news.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #8

    Mar 19, 2008, 03:49 PM
    She knew this was coming , so if she REALLY cared she would have contacted you.

    Stick with NC!
    Questions2007's Avatar
    Questions2007 Posts: 127, Reputation: 26
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    #9

    Mar 20, 2008, 02:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by friend4u178
    She knew this was coming , so if she REALLY cared she would have contacted you.

    Stick with NC!!
    Valid point Friend4u. It was her who broke up with me. Any contact must come from her. If she doesn't ever contact me to find out about the baby that is perhaps further fuel to the argument that she doesn't care!
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #10

    Mar 20, 2008, 02:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Questions2007
    Valid point Friend4u. It was her who broke up with me. Any contact must come from her. If she doesn't ever contact me to find out about the baby that is perhaps further fuel to the argument that she doesn't care!
    YEP... spot on!
    Samini81's Avatar
    Samini81 Posts: 20, Reputation: 2
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    #11

    Mar 20, 2008, 03:04 PM
    Sounds as if she may be stringing you along a bit how long has it been since she contacted you last? And the last time you 2 had any communication was it brought about by you or her? If you are the only one trying to communicate then I wouldn't bother its wonderful that you have become an uncle it's a great feeling when a sibling has a child almost like having one yourself but without the extra work lol, I would say if you talk to her tell her but don't try to contact her just to tell her that
    Leonstryfe's Avatar
    Leonstryfe Posts: 31, Reputation: 4
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    #12

    Mar 20, 2008, 03:13 PM
    Say no to drugs... you might end up getting addicted again...

    Meaning, you might spark emotions you buried awhile ago... leave it be, its none of her concern.
    howsitgo's Avatar
    howsitgo Posts: 15, Reputation: 0
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    #13

    Mar 23, 2008, 03:40 PM
    Hey Questions2007,

    I don't know if this helps, but I am in the exact situation, only on the opposite side. Broken up with the ex for a year (she broke up with me), and I have not contacted her for about 8 months. Well, last week she emailed me to tell me she was going to be an aunt. She was all happy but really (it's an awkward and empty situation)... as happy as I am or she is, what could I do. You just say congrats and she says thank you (or vice versa in your situation) and that's it. Back to reality, and old wounds reopened. Because once you get the "news" out of the way, there's nothing left to say really.

    Just a warning. Hope this helps in anyway. Best ofluck.
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