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Primrose21 · Mar 17, 2008, 04:51 AM

My daughter (4 years old) lives with her mother and I have access four days a month.
I live with my partner and her three children.
My Ex-Wife has now got a new partner living with her and my daughter and I only found this out as my daughter told me!
I have asked her mother about this man and I have been told that it is 'None of my business'.
I feel that as he is now living with my daughter that I should be told something about him and the situation as he is having day to day influences on her. I don't give a stuff what my ex does, but as this is affecting my daughters life I feel I should be given some info. Where do I stand with this?

N0help4u · Mar 17, 2008, 05:35 AM

If your ex tells you it is none of your business then it is none of your business basically.
Emphasis to your daughter if she is having any problems at home to come to you because you have her best interest at heart and want the best for her. If you try and get things out of her then it could cause resentment and problems from your ex that you are trying to 'pry'

You say you only have 4 days a month so that sounds more like something your ex and you agreed on. If you have not gone through court then maybe you want to file for joint custody and paying child support. The Judge may likely give you more time than 4 days
Per month and with the child support order then down the line she can't claim haven't been contributing anything even if you have.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 17, 2008, 05:42 AM

I will ask this also, do you have a court ordered custody agreement in place, if this agreement states she has to tell you who is living in the house, she has to tell you, if it does not state she has to tell you, she does not. There is no law that says you have to be informed of this. ** not what you want to hear I know.

But if you want this added to the custody agreement, you can try and file a motion with the court for this information.

So if you will come back an give us more information about the court ordered custody agreement you have, it will help.

ScottGem · Mar 17, 2008, 05:56 AM

Let me ask you this. Did you volunteer the info to your ex about your new partner? Did you tell her any background if she asked?

I agree with the others, it is none of your business. You have to trust the mother that he doesn't present a danger to your daughter. Of course I would be careful when you are with your daughter to see what influence he may be having. You can ask her if she likes "Uncle John", what they do together, etc.

If you want anything more than they you will need to modify your custody agreement.

Primrose21 · Mar 17, 2008, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I will ask this also, do you have a court ordered custody agreement in place, if this agreement states she has to tell you who is living in the house, she has to tell you, if it does not state she has to tell you, she does not. There is no law that says you have to be informed of this. ** not what you want to hear I know.

But if you want this added to the custody agreement, you can try and file a motion with the court for this information.

So if you will come back an give us more information about the court ordered custody agreement you have, it will help.

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We do not have a court order as when I tried to take it to the court she agreed with what I asked for with regard to access and therefore only have agreements drawn up with both solicitors.
Thank you for your response.