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    custardcream's Avatar
    custardcream Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:28 AM
    Don't know what to do.
    My H and I split 6 months ago. He was having 2yr long affair. I kicked him out. He moved in with OW and pretends to stay with his mom. We where together for 27yrs. He still has his mail delivered to our home. He offers gifts to me through our 21 year old. He won't see a lawyer to negotiate our split of assets. I am confused about his behavior and how I now feel about him. We don't communicate. His communication with our grown children has broken down. He sees one of our kids but not the other mainly only small talk with our eldest. His g/f has a young kid of her own. I don't know if I should push for divorce.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:57 AM
    Somehow you have to move on with your life and that of your children. It sounds as though he hasn't got the guts to make a complete break and get it over and done with. Start with having his mail forwarded to his new address (maybe there are some things he doesn't want his new g/f to see). Talk to him about a legal separation if you want to start slow and build up to a divorce. A situation whereby a relationship is neither here nor there is no absolutely no good for anyone.
    custardcream's Avatar
    custardcream Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 16, 2008, 06:18 AM
    I feel really alone with all that's happened. Today's not a good day for me. I've asked him to deal with separation I don't know why he has not yet done this. I don't think he is happy with his new life but he will probably stick it out for face value. I don't know why he is pretending to stay with his mom either its all very bizarre.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #4

    Mar 16, 2008, 07:03 AM
    I agree forward his mail to his new address--it could be beneficial to you in the future that his mailing address is not there any more.
    Why don't you just go for the divorce?
    Are you hoping he does get tired of her and come back to you?

    Leaving it all up to him is putting the ball in his court
    You need to decide what you want and go for it.
    custardcream's Avatar
    custardcream Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 16, 2008, 07:18 AM
    I know what you are saying,
    I don't know how I feel 1 day I want him out of my life and then the next I just don't know.
    I feel like such a fool. I know logically what I should do but emotionally I just can't do it What the h**l is wrong with me.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #6

    Mar 16, 2008, 07:53 AM
    Get your emotions worked up to how dare he, why do I allow him to have a girlfriend with the option to come back at any time, he is using me and I am allowing it to happen.

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