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    donnalewis's Avatar
    donnalewis Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 12, 2008, 12:23 PM
    Do work crushes fade
    I got a job at a credit union as a bank teller. I have tended to only like people near my own age who are friends so this is new for me. Ive developed a major crush on one of the Human Resources people there, he also trained me for a portion of the week. I seem to have very strong feelings for him because I think about him a lot and during the job he was always on the back of my mind. I would never pursue anything because at this point in my life I don't want a boyfriend. He is about 25/26 Im 20. I guess he isn't that much older but Im still in college. He has a great personality, he’s pretty cute, very funny, patient, nice, seems like a good person in general. He made me quite nervous, especially because during the training he made a lot of eye contact so I felt flustered most of the time and didn’t want to look stupid. This is bad, so far this job has been very stressful and feeling that way didn't help. Im pretty sure he doesn't like me, that's not the point of my post so don't say go for it... The eye contact thing I mentioned earlier is most likely because he's a good manager nothing more- the most he might think is that Im attractive. I am an attractive girl, Ive had a lot of guys tell me Im pretty. Anyway, the last day when some of us were joking around I made one teasing comment (I was obviously joking, everyone was picking on him) and he went "Oh!" and everyone else said "She'll fit in here" and since then he doesn't seem to talk to me but its prob my imagination because I stop training with him then. Not only that I can tell by his attitude about work that he would not flirt/pursue anyone in the work environment which I totally agree with (and which makes me like him more.) He mentioned a coworker who is expecting and remarked to me that he is only a little older than her and that he's so far away from making a family so I guess he's a commitment phobe or something.

    He is really friendly and nice to me but he's a very nice guy. My brother who is close to his age worked there too for a little while so that prob is part of it. (why he is so friendly other than his personality)
    This may not be a big deal but Im a hard worker. Its such an overwhelming job, I had no idea itd be this hard and I want to do the best I can. My aunt is the manager and I feel like I only got in there because Im related to her and want to prove that Im worthy. Its so much to remember, combined with this stupid crush, I'm relieved to get away and I'm not looking forward to starting this job full time in the summer. My question is will this go away with time? He will be there when I go back and I will be at this bank all summer.
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
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    #2

    Mar 12, 2008, 02:26 PM
    Welcome to AMHD.com, first why do some women treat men like objects sometimes? You said you don't want a boyfriend right now as if someone offered you a piece of cake. No thank you I don't want a piece of cake right now I just ate.

    Anyway, you attracted to this guy at work. He according to your post is wonderful. You want to know if this attraction will go way, in your case no. I think the attraction will be there when you return. The question is can you be mature enough to work with him in spite of your attraction toward him.

    I think you want to date him. There are several reasons why you are not considering it.

    1. You don't want a boyfriend.
    2. He is a co-worker.
    3. You really don't know if he is into you.
    4. You are falsely assuming he doesn't want to be in a committed relationship. He just is not ready to have children.

    The crush won't really fade away you will just learn how to function with it.

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