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bluediamond · Mar 10, 2008, 03:52 PM

I need some advice here. My g/f and I have been through a crazy 4 years. It has been a cycle of break up, get back together for those years and when we are apart its no longer than a week.

Well my g/f has been nagging, disrespecting me, and treating me like a doormat. Due to this On Saturday March 8, I left her apt upset and went home to have PEACE. So my friends call and ask if I want to go to a club. I go to the club, and my g/f is blowing my phone up. So I tell her I'm still at home, just watching TV and I'm staying home. I did this as I wanted to have a peaceful night with my friends.

So long story short, I get home at like 330am coming from the club, and she parks her car outside my home. As soon as I pull up she gets out her car and starts swinging punching me in the face numerous times, destroyed the mirror in my rental car, and attacked me with a bat. My face is swollen, my lips are VERY big and swollen due to this.

So my brother comes outside and told her to go home. So she leaves. My family heard about it because I didn't know I had my uncle on speed dial while this was going on. They seem to think I should make a police report or press charges, but I don't think I need to.

So I called my g/f (now x) on Sunday and told her that was uncalled for and that she needs to apologize. So then she says "well those lips that got busted shouldve been the lips that lied to me."

Now I am a weight lifter and a prof boxer, I didn't want to hit her back because she's a girl and also one hit in her face from me, she'd probably be in a coma. s

What do u guys think? Now I have been supporting this girl financially, and talks to me like I'm an idiot which is why I left Saturday in the first place. Now I know lying was not the best thing to do, but should it have called for this? Should I even bother to call her back ever again?

lf

Alty · Mar 10, 2008, 03:54 PM

You've posted this question twice.

bluediamond · Mar 10, 2008, 04:00 PM

I just realized that sorry

Alty · Mar 10, 2008, 04:04 PM

In my opinion, based on what you've said, I'd run as fast as you can and never look back. Beating someone up, that you claim to love, is no way to end an argument, even if that person lied to you. I don't know if you can still press charges, I think you would have had to call the police right away and file a police report, but I'd check into that.

Either way, this girl obviously has issues and you can find someone better suited to you.

Good luck.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 10, 2008, 04:05 PM

Let me see, she attacks you with a bat, and you are even talking to her, and you are not calling the police??

Sounds like perhaps you may get the hint when she shoots you next time.
Abuse is the abusers fault the first time, it is stupidity after that.

bushg · Mar 10, 2008, 04:06 PM

The next time she hits you with a bat could be the last time. You should be able to tell from her reply to you that she feels like she did the right thing. She will do this again or worse. File charges on her. Follow through no man or woman should be anothers punching bag.

bluediamond · Mar 10, 2008, 04:30 PM

Thank you all for the prompt reply. I keep telling myself I shouldn't have lied and this wouldntve never happen. Her myspace page mood says "Crushed". But oh well, I couldn't take this constant negative, nagging, treating me like a doormat on Saturday. I feel bad for her because I was helping her financially although I wasn't living with her. Its just a big mess, but next time she calls my phone I won't answer

stormewhether · Mar 10, 2008, 06:07 PM

So are you planning on getting anywhere with this relationship? Together, breakup, together, breakup. Seriously, let the pyscho beat up on someone else. You don't deserve to be there for someone and then get the crap beat out of you and your rental car. Take some advice from the Flock of Seagulls, Run!

On a side note, if you were my boyfriend and came home at 3:30, you might have a lot of explaining to do...

Homegirl 50 · Mar 10, 2008, 06:50 PM

I'm wondering why you're even asking this question. She uses you and abuses you and now she has physically abused you.
Should you break up? Duh!
Leave the chick alone.

belsammael · Mar 11, 2008, 01:53 AM

The question is more what do you want: are you happy with the way your life is now? Do you like the pain she causes you.. do the good time even begin to measure up to that? I doubt they can... and I think perhaps you already know the answer to your own question...

It's acting that's the most difficult part of this, acting and leading to change. But I think you can improve your life for the better - and I doubt she is the one that's going to change...

Good luck.

JoeCanada76 · Mar 11, 2008, 02:03 AM

YOU NEED TO PRESS CHARGES.
You should have done that right away. You also have witnesses.

She is nuts. She is obviously not sorry and she would do it again. She needs to be checked in the mental ward, because that abuse just shows how unstable she is.

Like others have said, you need to run away and run away fast.
She is trouble and could eventually kill you or stalk you. You need to keep away from her, and make sure she never comes near you again. Meaning make sure the police know, I say this for anybody. Restraining order.

NEVER CALL HER, NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. SHE ALREADY BROKE UP WITH YOU WHEN SHE BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU.

LifePaparazzi · Mar 11, 2008, 02:05 AM

Originally Posted by bluediamond

I need some advice here. My g/f and I have been through a crazy 4 years. It has been a cycle of break up, get back together for those years and when we are apart its no longer than a week.

Well my g/f has been nagging, disrespecting me, and treating me like a doormat. Due to this On Saturday March 8, I left her apt upset and went home to have PEACE. So my friends call and ask if I want to go to a club. I go to the club, and my g/f is blowing my phone up. so I tell her im still at home, just watching tv and im staying home. I did this as I wanted to have a peaceful night with my friends.

So long story short, I get home at like 330am coming from the club, and she parks her car outside my home. As soon as i pull up she gets out her car and starts swinging punching me in the face numerous times, destroyed the mirror in my rental car, and attacked me with a bat. My face is swollen, my lips are VERY big and swollen due to this.

So my brother comes outside and told her to go home. So she leaves. my family heard about it because I didnt know I had my uncle on speed dial while this was going on. They seem to think I should make a police report or press charges, but I dont think I need to.

So i called my g/f (now x) on Sunday and told her that was uncalled for and that she needs to apologize. so then she says "well those lips that got busted shouldve been the lips that lied to me."

Now i am a weight lifter and a prof boxer, i didnt want to hit her back because shes a girl and also one hit in her face from me, she'd probably be in a coma. s

What do u guys think? Now i have been supporting this girl financially, and talks to me like im an idiot which is why i left saturday in the first place. Now i know lying was not the best thing to do, but should it have called for this? Should I even bother to call her back ever again?

lf

Listen, women have to follow the laws just like men do. File a police report, and start carefully documenting what is going on. If she pulls any other psychotic episodes, you can have her arrested. Main thing is, NO ONE.. for whatever reason... NO ONE should have to face what you did. It is absurd for you to have to endured this crap. What kind of healthy relationship allows for either member to be so disrespected? None. So, do the right thing.

KalFour · Mar 11, 2008, 03:20 AM

She probably thought you were lying and were actually with another woman or something.
But that's irrelevant.
It's up to you whether you want to press charges, but I definitely think it's time to end it. Anyone who reacts that severely needs to either be in therapy or handcuffs.
Hope it works out,

Kal

bluediamond · Mar 11, 2008, 04:53 PM

Thanks everyone,

I really appreciate your input, and will do the right thing to make SURE this never happens again. For some reason I can't get her out of my mind. I actaully cared A LOT for the girl, and until I read these posts today, I was actually WONDERING what she was doing at the moment, if she was with another guy, etc things like that.

azanerd · Mar 11, 2008, 05:54 PM

I'm going to give you some advise that no one else seemed to pick up on... When a woman starts to beat the crap out of you and you don't want to hit a woman.. then restrain her. As a weight lifter and pro boxer, I think it would have been fairly easy to do that. There's nothing wrong with holding her down if she's beating the living daylights out of you.. call me crazy, but I think it's a lot better than standing there and letting someone bust your face up.

I don't think you should have lied, though I do understand the reason's for it. You wanted peace, but you should have thought about all the "un-peace" that could result from it if she was to find out. Unfortunately, you had to learn the hard way.

If I could give the girl some advise, I would tell her she should have questioned you and gotten some facts before jumping to conclusions. I mean, for all she knew, you could have been telling the truth when you said it, but later spoke to your friends and decided to hang out with them. I would also tell her that violence is never the key and hurting someone you love is a devilish thing to do.

If she truly cared for you, she would not want to hurt you. She wouldn't put you in such pain. I get the feeling she's more interested in domination than in love.

sasha_1 · Mar 11, 2008, 05:56 PM

All the responses have been like... "leave this girl, presse charges, etc etc" But I would be interested to know what happened on Saturday that made you "both" so upset. You left her apartment and I am sure she would also be in miserable state.

"Now i have been supporting this girl financially, and talks to me like im an idiot which is why i left saturday in the first place" Do you expect her to worship you because you support her financially? Every couple in a relationship should be respectful of each other irrespective of whatever the finances are. And when you do something for someone out of love, you should do it without any expectations.

You both might have issues and I am sure it can be worked on. BUT, I don't think any sane person, irrespective of how possessive they are, will attack the person they love.

My suggestion will be to assess your past actions first, and take a decision based on that. Good luck!

Alty · Mar 11, 2008, 06:03 PM

Sash 1 - If the OP were a women who was beaten up by her boyfriend would you advise her to find a way to work it out?

This is physical abuse, plain and simple, once someone raises a hand to you then it's time to get out of that relationship. Her behavior was unacceptable, and illegal, cut her loose. Once a beater always a beater, there is nothing to work out.

sasha_1 · Mar 11, 2008, 06:36 PM

Alt - my response will be the same even if the male/female roles in the OP's posts were reveresed. And you missed the point I made "BUT, I don't think any sane person, irrespective of how possessive they are, will attack the person they love"

And my response comes from my belief that every person has a God and a Satan inside him/her. It's circumstances that bring the one or other out of him/her. My only concern is maybe, just maybe the OP did something that drove her to this craziness.

Alty · Mar 12, 2008, 07:47 AM

My concern is that she beat him up.

My point is that it is never, and I mean never, okay to hit the person you supposedly love, even if they have done something to upset you. Sitting down and talking things out should always be the number one option. She didn't even give him a chance to explain, she just came out swinging, this is not okay.

I'm not saying that your point of view is wrong, it's your opinion and therefore you have a right to voice it, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh in my previous post.

I was in an abusive relationship when I was younger, the boy I was dating smashed my head into the windshield of his car because I wouldn't have sex with him. The windshield broke which made him even angrier so he proceeded to beat me up. I left and never looked back, nobody will every be allowed to raise an angry hand towards me, not unless they want me to raise mine back. I'm basing my opinion on my past experience, and I don't think the OP should stay with someone who has already proven that she is more than willing to become physical whenever she's upset about something.

I still say leave, there are people out there that won't beat you but will talk to you about their problems instead, who needs to deal with abusive people?

Homegirl 50 · Mar 12, 2008, 09:58 AM

There is no excuse for abuse. I don't care what the argument was about, if she is flying off the handle and hitting you, let that be a clue that the girl is unstable and leave her alone.