[ae21]

My boyfriend and I have lived together for about 6 months now. I don't think he is having an affair, but I have suspicions that he has cheated on me (on one or more occasions) or at least attempted to. He gets mad when guys call me late at night because he says that the only reason guys call a girl late at night is when they want to get some action.

Just the other night I took him and a friend downtown and he told me he would call me to pick him up in about an hour in a half. I after 3 hours I fell asleep waiting for him to call. I woke up at about 7 that morning and realized he hadn't gotten home yet nor had he attempted to call or text me. Worried, I called him several times and got no answer, then I called the friend who he was with and didn't get an answer. I went over to his friends house to see if he was there and his friend went back to his roommates room and then called me in to tell me he was in there. He has no good explanation as to why he never called etc and when I looked at his phone he made a phone call to a girl at like 3 or 4 in the morning. I have no idea what I am supposed to do. When I confronted him about the call he said he has no idea he was drunk and doesn't remember making it. Is he cheating? I have the girls number, should I be bold and ask her? What do I do? I know there was a girl at his friends house but he said she was there for his friend. I NEED ADVICE!!

[tosrikant]

In this case, you need to confirm what is reality. Don't assume, be confirmed. If you Love then there is a suspiction for every action your mate do. As this is the law of the nature. Every one has a expectation. Sortout his expectation from you. Then act upon that. Life is all understanding them not to understand what we assume. Make him feel that you are important. It means that, don't ask whatever he does. Everyone is concerned about their privacy. In this case behave as usual and don't make sticky with him. Leave him for some days as he lives. Don't argue or ask upon his act

[talaniman]

You obviously haven't had the boundaries conversation. It is unacceptable to be gone all night, without your knowing his whereabouts, as it causes unnecessary worry, and assumptions. Drunk or not, a phone call is in order. You've lived together for 6 months, how long have you been in this relationship?

[peggyhill]

Well, as to whether he cheated or tried to, that's hard to say. Don't assume he did, but keep your eyes open at the same time. He could have just been drunk, making those drunk people phone calls. (You know, the ones you get from a friend or co worker at 3 in the morning where they talk really loud and annoy you and don't even really say anything). Or he could have been trying to hook up. Maybe if you see the girl you could say something like "Wow, he must have been pretty wasted when he was over here. What all was he doing?" Just ask kind of casualy and see how she acts. It's hard to say. But drunk or not, the person he should have been calling was YOU to tell you "I drank too much, I'm so sorry, I'm staying at my friend's house, and I'll call you in the morning to apologize when I sober up." And he shouldn't have done any of it in the first place. If he wanted to party, he should have told you and invited you.

I agree with what tal was saying, you guys need to have a talk about boundaries and what is and is not OK in your relationship. Otherwise, there could be more things like this happening. Explain to him how telling you he'll be home in an hour and a half and then staying out all night is completely unacceptable to you. Explain how worried you were, thinking he could have been hurt or something. Talk about all the scenarios and what is and isn't OK with you. Ask him if there is anything that bothers him too and let him talk about what he expects in the relationship. It doesn't have to be a fight, just explain to him that you want to talk this out so that this sort of stuff doesn't happen in the future.