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butterfly6991 · Mar 7, 2008, 09:04 AM

:( I have been married for almost 7 year I believe my husband has cheated on me I found an account for personal people finder website so I opeaned it it said he was married but needed more sex and to contact him he wanted something with no string. When I confrounted him he said I was trying to start fights then I showed him the account he was quite told me it was junk mail he did not delete he was not that stupid to do that in his email account that he gave me the password to, what do I do ? I was pregnant when he opeaned the account

O_Troubles · Mar 7, 2008, 11:13 AM

Couples councilling

clhnla25 · Mar 7, 2008, 11:37 AM

Im sorry to tell you this but if he posted that he had intentions on cheating... if he has already or not you would know that... the best thing for you to do is sit down and talk to him.. ya easier said then done I know.. but he obviuosly has a problem in the relationship and you need to know what that is so it can be fixed.. you said you were pregnant at the time... that can be a tough time for a couple.. being pregnant you are tired and hurting and sometimes lose your sex drive and its hard for men to understand that. You just have to be strong,if he is mature and easy to talk to it needs to be done and I would maybe even look into seeing a couple theripist.. hope it works out for you.

youcantstop48 · Mar 7, 2008, 11:42 AM

I would agree sit him down and talk to him and if he loves you and wants this then he will do whatever it takes to fix it!

O_Troubles · Mar 7, 2008, 11:46 AM

You don't know if he went through with what his profile said and cheated onyou or if he was sexualy frustrated and it was just like for s and giggles on his part. Deffinatly see someone if you were to try and talk it out at home you might get into a huge fight and hurt your relationship.

kp2171 · Mar 7, 2008, 11:58 AM

Ungh...

My brother in law cheated on his wife while she was in the hospital after giving birth to his daughter. Grrrrrrrrr!

Hate to tell you this, but the very BEST case scenario is he was looking for mental stimulation and erotic imaginary embellishment to arouse him.

Screw that.

I think he was trolling for a piece... hate to say it so bluntly, but you've been punched in the gut hard, so its no new news.

Time to step through the, uh, steps...

I assume you want to save the marriage. Time for counseling. If he's unwilling, then he's not interested in owning up. He lied (junk mail?? ) on top of all of this... so I'm thinking mr man needs to figure out just what he wants...

And unfortunately, that mean holding his pair to the fire.

Look... you want a happy marriage, right? But above all else, you should want the truth... to live in reality, right? You can deal with that, plan around that, work with it.

Healthy people work in reality... in all its glory and all its ugliness.

So... time to push him to the wall... if he's willing to do the hard work it takes to make a marriage last, that's fantastic. He could be a dumb guy with his head up his arse. Been there, done that (not like he did tho)...

So... don't settle for excuses. Nows the time for serious talk. What is his real problem. It isn't the site. Something's behind that. Was he feeling neglected? Bored? Old? Why did he post it, and what came of it.

I think you have an uphill battle that can be won. But its going to take his honest, open, and willing effort to make things right.

He might not have cheated on you. But he surely was trolling for interest. Even if it was just emotional in nature, its taking away from you, and he needs to own it.