[Synnen]

Whoa--hold it right there.

Movie stars act the way movie stars have ALWAYS acted. And who are YOU to tell someone else how to live their own life?

If you don't like the example, don't let your kid be exposed to it. Period.

[Alty]

Whoa right back at you.

I'm not telling anyone how to live their lives, I'm saying what I believe needs to happen in order to protect our youth. If you don't agree that's fine but I suggest that you calm down before jumping down my throat for my beliefs.

Maybe movie stars do act the same as they always have, but I don't remember hearing or seeing the stars I idolized on television every day getting arrested for drinking and driving, sleeping with everything that moves and not suffering any consequences. How long did Paris Hilton spend in jail, 5 seconds? Come on, what kind of example are these people setting for the kids out there.

You are right, I don't have to let my kids be exposed to it, but short of getting these stars booted of the air or moving to the woods without television or radio, I don't know how I'm going to achieve that. You can't even turn on the television without seeing what trouble they've gotten themselves into today. We need better examples for our children, better idols for them to worship because the ones we have right now aren't cutting it.

[N0help4u]

Whoa right back at you.

Maybe movie stars do act the same as they always have, but I don't remember hearing or seeing the stars I idolized on television every day getting arrested for drinking and driving, sleeping with everything that moves and not suffering any consequences. How long did Paris Hilton spend in jail, 5 seconds? Come on, what kind of example are these people setting for the kids out there.

Exactly Altenweg

Movie stars are not the same as it was years ago. They may have to some degree but it was kept quiet for the most part. Liz Taylor's divorces, Burt Renold's confirmed bachelorhood and Marilyn Monroe were about as GP rated as it got up until the early 70's. They did get divorced whereas it was more uncommon for the average person to get divorced back then.
They weren't even allowed to sleep in the same bed or say the word toilet on TV back then.

But I think TV is neither here nor there and really a subject for its own post.

Personally I don't care to watch TV with my son cause it is rather embarrassing to me to hear them say the things they say now. If it was the basics maybe I wouldn't feel that way but they say really crude stuff on some of those shows.

[Allheart]

I'm trying to think who I looked up to -way back then... and I don't think it was anyone on TV. Mom really did limit it. Any of you remember Dark Shadows?? We were forbidden to watch it.

Anyway, because I was the youngest of 5 I had my four sisters I looked up to (thankfully), so I was really lucky I think.

I don't even remember who stars where back then. LOL :)

[Alty]

I know that times have changed, but has anyone thought about the consequences of those changes. I remember when they weren't even allowed to say the word pregnant on television, they always said "with child". Why was pregnant considered an ugly word?

Now they are even allowed to say the F word on television. Stars on TV sometimes change partners more then most of us change our underwear. What kind of message are we sending to our children? What happened to good old family values, did it go out of style?

My point is that things were better in the 70's, I mean, I'm not willing to give up my microwave or cell phone, but I think our teens could do without some of these horrible influences in their lives. Teens already think that they are invincible, do we really need Singers and Movie stars showing them that they are? This isn't fiction, these stars do whatever they want and even when they do get caught they get a tiny slap on the wrist at most.

Teens today need to know that their actions have very real consequences. That if you have unprotected sex you could get pregnant or die. They need to know that the rules are different for them than they are for the stars, we live in the real world. They need to understand that just because their idol is doing something doesn't mean it's okay. Where are all the good influences, where did they go, is being a good person no longer popular, if so then heaven help us.

There are so many things conspiring against us when it comes to teaching our kids. Not only about sex, that's just the subject that I feel very passionately about. It's scary to think about the number of kids having unprotected sex out there, what will the world be like when my kids are teens?

Maybe I should start looking for some property in the woods.

[N0help4u]

They say worse than the F word
My son watches Family Guy and I can't repeat the things they say on there.
(I don't think I can... It would probably have to get deleted from here)

[Alty]

Good point, some of the language on these shows shocks even me, and I'm not easily shockable.

Maybe writing to the network that plays these shows would be a start. Why do we need all this bad language and bed hopping, it doesn't make the show any more entertaining and it sets a really bad example for our kids.

[N0help4u]

I'm not easy shockable either. I really am not shocked cause I have heard it all, but I definitely don't find it entertaining whatsoever.

[Alty]

Well, I guess we've come full circle on this subject and still haven't come to a conclusion.
I do know that I will do my best with my kids to teach them right from wrong and that they should make informed decisions about sex. I hope that this works.

I do still firmly believe that some kind of program should be made available to all the teens out there that have no where to turn, I just don't know what that program should be or what it should entail.

I do know that I'm going to sit down with my kids and watch re-runs of Little house on the Prairie, they might find it boring but that show is exactly what they need. No swearing, no bed hopping, no drugs and no teen pregnancy, back when things were simpler and less frightening for our kids, and for us.

I'll touch base again tomorrow, maybe someone will have the solution to this problem.

Good night everyone.

[Allheart]

I think My mom should run some sort of bootcamp :)

I didn't care who was doing what... who was doing who... who wasn't wearing what... I just wanted to be sure to keep my butt out of trouble. That's all I really cared about.
It's the God's truth.

[Synnen]

I love Family Guy.

I wouldn't let my KIDS watch it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have entertainment value.

And wow... My mom just didn't let us watch crap TV... she sent us out to play. We weren't allowed to have music she wouldn't listen to.

I don't know about you, but I looked up to my TEACHERS. And to my grandparents. And policemen, and firemen, and the guys in the military.

It STILL comes back to parental influence. I say it again: If you don't want your kids emulating the "stars" then don't endorse the shows, don't let your kids watch them. If you think that a star is doing something you wouldn't want your kid doing, then TALK to them about it.

I grew up in the 80s. I remember TONS of drug overdoses. I remember couples splitting and getting back together.

TV is a different issue, but connected--however, if you don't like what a show has to say, then write the sponsors. Believe me, money talks. If enough people write in and say they won't buy Doritos because they sponsor a show that you find questionable, believe me, Doritos will pull their backing, and if it's found out WHY they pulled it, they won't get anyone ELSE to sponsor.

Again, it's personal responsibility. You can't blame "outside influences" if you don't address the issues with your kids.

I don't remember watching much TV as a kid. It was a special occasion to stay up late and watch "Wizard of Oz" with the whole family, but generally, my parents fostered the "go outside and PLAY" philosophy. Or if we were bored, they'd hand us a BOOK.

There was where my REAL heroes were--the heroes in stories. I wanted to be Lucy in Narnia, or the boy (I can't remember his name) in Treasure Island. I wanted to be JUST like Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Parents are soooo influential. My mom didn't turn the TV on because she didn't like it. I can't remember a time where my mom wasnt' reading something in her down time.

Really, those horrible Hannah Montanna's and Britney Spears's can be examples--of the BAD kind. But it takes a parent to point out WHY they're bad to their kids.

[N0help4u]

The 80's is when everything seemed to start to really change from the Leave it to Beaver
Upbringing we in the 60's had.
People started getting divorced at a much higher rate and it was no longer looked at as taboo.
Kids started getting diagnosed with ADHD at a much higher rate.
Kids whose parents started getting them high as a teen ager were just hitting their 20's.
TV started to be more promiscuous.

I agree if you don't like the shows don't watch them but my son is 20 now.

[Marriedguy]

Let me add my 2 cents. Back when I went to High School it mandatory to take sex education. We as student were taught all about the reproduction system and we taught about the STDs. The school system is not to blame for the growing teen pregnancy rates.

Abstinence is not the answer. Telling these teenagers they should not have sex is a waste of time. Sex is all around them, it's in the movies they see, and it's in the music they listen. For those that don't believe that the amount of sex on TV has not increased you are mistaken. Our society is changing what was acceptable 20-30 years is doesn't hold true today. Parents have to learn and accept the difference.

The root of the problem really dates back way before my time. In our society which is male dominated puts emphasis on young men having sex. If a teenage son comes to his father and says dad I had sex. His father more than likely is going to be happy for him. His father will approve and tell him you better be careful you don't want to get her pregnant. It's a major achievement. If the son is not having sex or interested in girls the parents think he is gay.

Now, flip the coin the young woman comes home and tells her father that she just had sex. The dad is like “Where is this son of a …where is my gun.” Honey, you need to have a sit down with this girl. Then the mother explains “you are a young woman you have to respect your body.. blah.. blah.”

This needs to change! If it was not socially acceptable for young men to have sex at a young age, it would eliminate majority of these teen pregnancies.

I personally, didn't have sex until late teens and my whole family was waiting for me to come out the closet. My older brother, younger brother and friends teased me.

Women by nature are always trying to one up each other. These young women are trying to emulate the adult women and adult women have sex. So just like guys tease other guys for being virgins the daughters are doing the same. And just like the movie “American Beauty” majority of these young women are just lying and pretending to have sex to fit in.

The message to our teenagers should be if you want to have sex use protection.

Giving condoms out in schools was a great idea. Then parents lobbied and claimed that only encourages teenagers to have sex.

Parents must understand that they cannot control the decisions their teenagers make, but they can give their teenagers the tools to so they make the right decisions.

[N0help4u]

Yeah I agree with that marriedguy
Double standard mostly cause the guy was suppose to but it was shocking if the girl did.

I really feel they need someone to teach them the hardships and responsibility of life though as well. Parents aren't, schools don't and then everybody complains when teens have babies and go on welfare using "their tax dollars". WHAT do they expect?? The kids are not taught any better.

[Synnen]

So... like I said earlier... don't attack the sex---that's always happened.

Attack the philosopy that it's okay to be a single parent--by stopping easy divorces. Attack the philosophy that it's HER problem if she gets pregnant--go back to "taking care of it" or getting married.

Make the consequences that you're UNHAPPY for the rest of your life with someone you might not have chosen to spend it with because you got "caught" having sex. The other alternative is that there will be more adoptions.

But THAT will never happen, because Americans think they have the RIGHT to be happy.

[uhhNothingChelle]

I love how you refer to us in a stereotype. I agree that teens should be more careful. I have plenty of friends who have kids most under 20yrs. I'm 19 I have one year left till I lose the suffix & to tell you the truth.. many said I wouldn't make it past 16-17 without having a baby, well.. here I am.. no kid. That's not to say I wasn't in danger of having one though. Some teens just don't care if they have a kid or not, they feel they or they& their boy friend(partner, whatever) can suport this baby if she did indeed become pregnant, then there's always mommy & daddy & family to help. They don't think of it as 9 months of carrying & a promising future of hard labor and flesh ripping pushing of a watermelon sized figure out of a hole the size of a lemon (if they're lucky). They're sontent w/ the fact that they could become pregnant, but are scared out of their minds when they miss that first period or find out that mr. stud muffin didn't use a condom after all. Which is why I'm planning my pregnancy. Yupp that's right.. "i'm planning" my pregnancy at 19. And damn proud. Because I may not be ready for carrying or delivering a baby at the very moment, but I'm willing to work and get ready for it. As for the irresponsible teen pregnancies you speak of.. you can lecture all day about practicing safe sex and using abstinence (both in which are good ideas) you can even scare them w/ facts about pregnancy and std's. Truth is they do it because they do it, because others are doing it, and attention. Sex is a fad. Everyone's doing it. But people are caring less and less about who is doing because its becoming old news, so teens think since no one is paying attention then no one will notice. Or in some cases... attention is what they were after. Umm hum.

[justcurious55]

which is why i'm planning my pregnancy. yupp thats right.. "i'm planning" my pregnancy at 19. and damn proud. b/c i may not be ready for carrying or delivering a baby at the very moment, but i'm willing to work and get ready for it.

Am I reading that right, that you're planning of get pregnant now at the age of 19? If so, I just have to ask why? I'm only a few months behind you and I think I would lose my mind if I were to get pregnant now even if I did have 9 months to prepare ;)

[Alty]

It's good to hear the young people's point of view on this subject. I just can't imagine anyone in their teens being ready to be a parent, maybe I am old.

The whole "sex is a fad" thing really scares me, what happened to clothing fads, at least they where safe.

Are kids not getting enough attention at home, is that why they are having sex and getting pregnant?

Synnen - You are right about television, I for one am trying to get my kids outside more and reading more, it's hard though. When I was a kid we had 8 channels, now there's satellite, over 200 channels. Our kids are growing up on TV, they can't live without it, and the values that they are getting from TV aren't good. It's easy to say that we shouldn't let them watch shows that we don't approve of, the fact is that these shows are out there and they will find a way to watch them if Mom and Dad forbid it.

Obviously there's no simple solution, otherwise someone would already have come up with it and implemented it. How do we get through to teens, for their own good.

[Wondergirl]

In this morning's paper, a columnist reported on a recent teen club pow-wow (led by adults) about sex and sex education. Most of the teens had female friends with gonorrea and other STDs in their mouths and throats, diseases that will be with them the rest of their lives and diseases that they can pass on to others by kissing and engaging in oral sex. A number of the teen attendees believed Baggies and even aluminum foil were good subs for condoms. The conclusion was that teen pregnancy is down but STDs are spreading like wildfire through the teen population.

[Alty]

Teen pregnancy is down? Obviously they didn't check this site, it seems that there are two post per page with teens asking if they could be pregnant.

The STD's doesn't surprise me, if they're having unprotected sex then there is that risk, it's a higher risk that getting pregnant.

Aluminum foil and Baggies? How much do condoms cost now that kids have to use substitutes that don't work?

Yikes, it's a scary world. I feel like crawling into bed and not ever coming out.