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    denni4ka's Avatar
    denni4ka Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 5, 2008, 02:47 PM
    He hides everything inside him, how can I talk to him?
    Ok, I am married from 3 years, but in that relationship from almost 10. It used to be a very very strong love, understanding and friendship. But I say again it used to be. I am a really patient person and I have never stopped him from going out with friends, going party, coming home late and so on. While we used to live abroad, we were everything for each other, we were spending every moment together, right home after work and so on.. like a real family, though we weren`t still married. Now, I can`t make him to come home straight after work, he spends endless hours with friends, I feel he is doing it on purpose. I tried to talk to him, he says he doesn`t know why is he doing that, he swears he doesn`t cheat on me, but the biggest problem I feel is that he doesn`t want to talk to me at all. Otherwise he talks and talks, but when I make him talk to me and explain me why is he treating me like that, he stays quiet, he doesn`t say a single word. That is that drives me crazy. I am asking questions and get no answers. It is so insulting. It always makes me cry. I said I am a patient person, but he started not coming home till the morning every other night, and especially after we have had a fight about it, I cannot accept it. He says he feels some kind of Apathy, but he swears it is not because of me,. I am really confused. We have always had such of a good relation that I still cannot believe this all happens to me. And I am pretty sure the problem can be solved, if he only starts talking to me. What can I do to make him to open himself for me?How can I make him talk?
    Please, help,
    I feel so desperate:confused:
    Thanks,
    Dennitsa
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Mar 5, 2008, 03:19 PM
    Otherwise he talks and talks, but when I make him talk to me
    Confusing, what is he talking about? There are not to many guys that can answer questions about their feelings, so what are you asking him? When and how??
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Mar 5, 2008, 04:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by denni4ka
    I am a patient person, but he started not coming home till the morning every other night, and especially after we have had a fight about it, I cannot accept it. He says he feels some kind of Apathy, but he swears it is not because of me,
    If he is not coming home all night I wouldn't be surprised if he IS cheating on you.
    Do you really believe he is staying all night at a buddies house? My ex use to not come home all night many times, some times he was at a buddies house and sometimes he was cheating.

    A neighbor of mine's husband wouldn't come home all night and he WAS cheating on her with her sister. If it was all about the buddy thing I think he would be able to tell you stuff like oh over at Joe's last night, his wife made this really good chicken you got to make it someday and different things like what happened at the bar or the friends or where ever.

    The apathy, but not because of you sounds like an excuse so you accept that he accepts the blame and then drop it.

    I am not so sure I would trust him all that much.
    But that is just me and my experience with relationships.

    I agree with Taliman but it seems like he may be doing some avoidance.

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