[newguy2008]

Well where to begin? I've been with my g/f for about seven months now. We moved in together a couple months back( yes I know it was probably too soon, but this is my first really serious relationship and we both felt it was the right thing to do), and things are going OK for the most part. However, she does things that just drive me up the wall and I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to her, disscusing it with her, we have even been to a relationship counsler to talk about , because we were talking about marriage and our friends suggested we go. Anyway, the things she does... We had agreed to share in the chores, well I end up doing most everything around the house. In the beginning she lied to me about guys she had been with before me, and the reason it was important was because we worked together at the time, and our place is a ces-pool of diseases. I feel that she uses me to get a free ride basically. Because of me, she has gotten a new car, a much better job than she had, a better apartment, and I pretty much buy all the stuff (i.e. dinner, movies, etc.) She tells me she loves me, and sometimes I feel like she does, the things she will do for me defintely proves it, but then she will do things that makes me think otherwise. She told me that she doesn't like it when I kiss her all the time, or try to rub her, or touch her. She said, " It gets annoying and I just want it to be new and exciting like when we first started going out". Maybe it's just me, but shouldn't things be getting better, instead of worse? She liked it when I wasn't sure if I should touch her, because it was new, but that's what happens when you go out with someone over a long period, you get used to each other. When I try to talk to her about anything important or serious, she says " I don't know", or " Gah, What?!" But on the flip side I'm crazy about her. I'm just tired of not knowing if she's for real or not. If I knew that she really did love me, well than it would make it worth working through all the BS and getting on with our lives. But I guess if I could just find that out, well than there probably wouldn't be websites like this one, dedicated to giving advice to people who don't know what to do.

Hoping to get some good advice, cause I'm about as confused as anyone could be.

[tickle]

It appears that even though she is living with you she isn't exactly on the same page. I don't think she knows what a committed relationship is, and definitely does not know the word 'sharing' which is what couples do who love each other.

The counselling was a good idea but she still doesn't get it. After you get past the 'everything new' stage, then couples settle into being comfortable with each other. Nothing should be annoying, at least not anything intimate. So you have a few red flags going up here that need addressing but I don't think talking will do any good because you both have been that route.

Next step is of course sitting her down and telling her how you feel and if she doesn't feel the same then it is time to get out because at this stage it isn't going to happen the way you want it to.

[talaniman]

Give and take, talk and listen. You seemed to have skipped over the "just get to know each other" and went right into playing house, and now you are struggling to get that time back. Your both still starngers who thought you knew all you needed, but don't. My gosh, man you both are driving this trainwreck, and only both of you can decide what's next. Talk like you should have done, and hope for the best. Listen to what she has to say, and know you should have learned it already. Either work together, or split.