[hurtnconfused]

It will be hard to stop calling him, but I never did call him a lot to begin with. I've known him for a month and called maybe once a week. But even harder will be seeing him at the gym all the time. I feel like an idiot and that I've been totally used and now I have to walk around there and see his face. Not saying he's disrespectful there, because he talks to me and smiles, and we just have great conversation. My friend tells me he has absolutely no interest in me, that he just doesn't want to get close to me, as she sensed that when we all hung out this past weekend. I felt this too. I suppose once a guy determines he doesn't want to get close to a girl and puts her in the booty call category, that he's made up his mind and nothing will ever change that, right? I just wish my schedule was different so I didn't have to end up at the same place where he's at all the time. So me stopping the phone calls, PLUS him not seeing me anymore might make him wonder. The phone calls will stop though, I won't call him from now on.

[drnidz]

If you haven’t heard back from your date within a couple of weeks, even if you were convinced it went wonderfully, think back about that evening. Did you really have anything in common? Did you talk too much about yourself? Did you “go too far” physically to the extent that you felt a little guilty the next day? Might you have acted too needy, too pushy, too bossy, too snotty or too boring? If any of this is the case, your date may have been scared away and wouldn’t tell you even if you asked. Don’t be too hard on yourself, though; let it go. It was only one date and if he or she’s gone, that person wasn’t meant for you. At least by reviewing it honestly in your mind, you may be able to learn what not to do the next time and move closer to find someone you click with.

[hurtnconfused]

Well the last time we hung out alone, before he stopped calling, was our 5th time... and he just came over, we watched some TV and he pretty much just wanted to have sex. We had sex before so I didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't seem needy or clingy, didn't even touch him while we were sitting on the couch watching TV, didn't even talk about myself, nothing. The only thing was the sex, but like I said, we had already done that so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. That was the last time we hung out alone.

But then 2 weeks later, I invited him to come over and bring a friend to watch that sporting event, which I posted about earlier. This was just this past Saturday and it seemed like we had a great time. I had one of my girlfriends over too so everything was lively, we made dinner, had some drinks, watched the event, then after that I popped in a movie. Although, again, he was showing no affection whatsoever. But when my friend and his friend left to buy cigarettes, he immediately wanted sex. After they came back, we hung out for a while longer, he passed out on my bed, stayed the night and in the morning, when he was about to leave, he looked at me and gave me that look like he was attracted to me giving me that "I want you" look, saying "oooooh", just to kind of flatter me I guess and gave me a hug, I kissed him on the cheek and that was that. Haven't heard from him still, haven't seen him at the gym. But like I said, I think he knows he will keep seeing my face at the gym so I'm changing my schedule so we don't run into each other. I'll just disappear. Maybe it will catch his attention, maybe not.

[hurtnconfused]

Well just an update... I'm on day 2 of my schedule change just so I don't run into him and I thought I could continue this but I'm already having a hard time changing things around to accommodate it. I'll try at least through this week or even through next week but don't know how much longer I can do it. I just feel embarrassed and like a fool. I thought that maybe giving him space for a week or two, meaning no phone calls, not even seeing him, just acting like I don't exist- may change his mind and maybe I can give him a call then? Or if I don't hear from him even though I've been gone, I guess that's a sure indication he really doesn't care. I just thought that even if he doesn't want a relationship, I would think he would still consider me a friend, and if that was the case, he should at least care if he hasn't seen or heard from me in a couple weeks when he's used to seeing me 3-4x a week, and maybe give me a call, right? If not, then I know he just thinks of me as trash. :(

[talaniman]

You are so looking into this to closely, and assuming a lot. Look at the pattern you have already set in this thing, and now you are changing that pattern. Well you should, as your feelings, and perspectives are so different than his. He didn't use, and confuse you at all, he accepted your invitations and you let it go there, so now you expect him to pursue you, and have feelings he may not have. "Why doesn't he call as a friend at least?" Geez, he hasn't missed you yet, and may be a while before he does, so realise this is your own mind, playing tricks on you, and the only thing you can do is focus elsewhere, and stop confusing yourself, by examing his behavior, and what it means. You will drive yourself crazy. It was too much, to soon, to fast, and as we always do, we listen to others instead of seeing for ourselves. Deal with yourself, not him. He may be nice, but he was, and still is a stranger.

[hurtnconfused]

Well I do plan on focusing elsewhere. That is why I have not called, and I've changed my schedule so I don't have to see him anymore. Isn't that all I can do at this point to start focusing on other things? I just really hate that I have to change things around, and don't know how much longer I can do it. But if I do end up going back to my regular time, I will still be cordial, not act as if he hurt me, just smile and be friendly. Till then, all I can say is that I have already taken these steps in changing the pattern so I can have a better perspective and don't get my emotions involved anymore if I ever see him again.