[Alty]

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded > restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20'x20' room
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it
A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq ft house 4 inches deep
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old
Duplos will not
Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence
Super glue is forever
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water
Pool filters do not like Jell-O
VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving
You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on
Plastic toys do not like ovens
The spin cycle in the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy
It will, however, make cats dizzy
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

[Clough]

LOL! Probably so... Enjoyed them! :p

[albear]

What about 'i made a microwave out of play dough', lol seems like you had some fun times :)

[Scottish2008]

Lmao so true for most of them. Nice

[Alty]

These aren't my experiences, I definitely didn't write this, someone else came up with these gems. I can see where someone with children would get these ideas. Kids are amazing, they do and say things that make you laugh daily.

This is one of mine, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants,

The other day my husband made soft boiled eggs for breakfast. As the four of us sat down to eat, my 5 year old daughter said to my husband "Daddy, please don't eat any eggs, they make your bum stinky."

[CaptainRich]

That's all funny... and all true... :cool:

[Da Bigchamp]

Yea, I did half of those things when I was kid. My mom said it was hell raising me.

[FallenFromGrace]

These aren't my experiences, I definitely didn't write this, someone esle came up with these gems. I can see where someone with children would get these ideas. Kids are amazing, they do and say things that make you laugh daily.

This is one of mine, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants,

The other day my husband made soft boiled eggs for breakfast. As the four of us sat down to eat, my 5 year old daughter said to my husband "Daddy, please don't eat any eggs, they make your bum stinky."

Your daughter gives good advice.. maybe she could answer questions here. Heck.. that could fall under a lot of things.. food and drink... emm.. dating..

[Da Bigchamp]

And here's something I've learned from my 4 yr old cousin.

All you need to take out power for your entire neighborhood is a metal letter opener and a power outlet.

[friend4u178]

LMAO... stinky bum :-)

[Duecey93]

Very interesting.

[Alty]

Today we learned that bread covered in jam, when dropped on the floor, will always land jam down. Always!

[friend4u178]

Today we learned that bread covered in jam, when dropped on the floor, will always land jam down. Always!

Of course... even more fun when you manage to catch it half way down :-)

[Alty]

Of course.............even more fun when you manage to catch it half way down :-)

Been there, done that, wrote the book.

This is off topic but I had to share because it made me chuckle on an otherwise chuckle free day.

I found a new outgoing message for my answering machine. Here it goes:

Sorry I'm not in right now, I had to go to the pet store to buy a new budgie, leave a message and I'll call you back.

Oh, by the way, using a vacuum cleaner to clean out the bird cage is a bad idea.

[friend4u178]

Been there, done that, wrote the book.

This is off topic but I had to share because it made me chuckle on an otherwise chuckle free day.

I found a new outgoing message for my answering machine. Here it goes:

Sorry I'm not in right now, I had to go to the pet store to buy a new budgie, leave a message and I'll call you back.

Oh, by the way, using a vacuum cleaner to clean out the bird cage is a bad idea.

LMAO... nice one Alt , I like it :-)

[Alty]

I do have my moments. Hee, Hee.

[Clough]

I have a story that I wold like to share about a small parakeet that we had when I was a child. Want to hear it? It's kind of gross...

[Alty]

Clough, I could probably handle gross, go for it.

[friend4u178]

I have a story that I wold like to share about a small parakeet that we had when I was a child. Wanna hear it? It's kinda gross...

C'mon Clough... we're sitting on the edge of our seats waiting :-)

[Alty]

Clough, have you decided that it's too gross to share. Let me tell you that nothing shocks me so go for it. We are waiting to hear this gross tale.:)