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jonnywaite · Feb 28, 2008, 02:28 AM

Well my and my fiancé had been having trouble because her friends always have a wealth of fella around them.. so naturally I'm concerned when she's with them.. On Friday we were having the usual argument about not being dependent on other fellas for getting home.She said I was to controlling and she wanted a break.but assured me it wasn't to see other fella's. She went out on Friday and kissed another fella,I knew she did and it wrecked me. So when I asked she told me the truth. When she was out kissing him I was at home looking for relationship advice. She promises it meant nothing and happened by accident. I told her I didn't want to be engaged any longer but I still wanted to date her. Bearing in mind she's 16 and I'm 19. What should I do?

When I found out I went nuts and told everyone she was a whore and a tart including her family.now no one wants to c us together.
Is this worth trying to fix.

canefan1012 · Feb 28, 2008, 03:07 AM

Wow that is a tough one. First of all I know what that "kiss means nothings" feels like because it does hurt and I remember saying comments also. I think that it is worth fixing. Sometimes when you're on a "break" the person feels freedom and they don't think. It really falls on whether she will continue to do that or if it's a one time situation because of the break. In the end you have to follow your heart. I personally think that at her age the both of you shouldn't be engaged yet. The both of you have so much growing and changing to do that you two should go through them together and see if after that you are compatible and that love is still what unites you.

susangpyp · Feb 28, 2008, 05:05 AM

You guys are so young... the things you're doing are normal and I don't think that it's a good idea to be "engaged" at this age. I don't know if you are in the US but being "engaged" is a contract to marry and minors can't make contracts in the US so there really isn't such a thing as an engaged 16 year old.

It's difficult to hear when you're young but you probably want to give it/her time and yourself time to grow up. Neither of you are handling things very well and it's just a matter of being as young as you are.

Go slow... regroup...

imation · Feb 28, 2008, 05:48 AM

Its completely a bad idea to be engaged right now. You are young at 19 and for her to be only 16 that's just ridiculous.
She wants a break because she wants to go crazy and not feel trapped, and she will continue to feel this way if you continue the relationship. I believe this is a precursor to her breaking up with you.

What you need to do is sit and talk with her, just ask her if this is worth sticking through or should you go your separate ways.

JL FANATIC · Feb 28, 2008, 07:04 PM

I'm 27. You can try, go to the movies buy yourself. Listen my ex still looks for me until this day you are still in high school, do you know how many girls I see now that was not paying attention to me then, they see me now and they just want me. . The choice that you make now is going to carry into the future. Leave that chick alone. You talked about her fam, you took that just a tad bit too far. Apologize WITH your heart to her family You will be all right. ITS ALL ON YOU YONGSTER. GOOD LUCK

ldyastrid · Feb 29, 2008, 05:55 AM

It's a very rare thing for teenagers to stay together for the long haul. I know you don't want to hear and how hard it is to receive this advice. Neither of you have lived and experienced life enough to make a life-long commitment. Tastes change as we age - in food, clothes, colors, friends... the list goes on - think about this - something you really enjoyed when you were 16 is probably something that you aren't completely (if at all) into anymore. The same will be true in 5 years from now about things you like. There's no rush to get married or be in an exclusive relationship. Each of you could be missing a lot of experiences that will help you later in life. All lessons in life are valuable, allow yourself to experience things without blinders on.

It would not be fair to either of you if you get married and then a few years (if it takes that long) either / both of you wonder "what if". Marriage is a HUGE commitment, and both need to KNOW that there is no doubt about your future - and at this young age, neither of you can say that with complete certainty.

Dating is like interviewing for a life partner. It does not mean that sex needs to be a part of the interview process... throwing sex into the process can complicate things more than helping - someone usually gets hurt worse when they give their body to another person only for them to move on to someone else.

It hurts now, but when all is said and done, it's a good thing that this happened. After marriage when one spouse needs to spread their wings, it is a whole lot worse and a lot more involved - especially if there are children.

Take this experience and learn from it - if you end up together down the road, wonderful! If not, it's prepared you in future relationships.

talaniman · Feb 29, 2008, 10:39 AM

Geez guy, she is in high school, and doing what high school girls do, and you should let her, and leave her alone, after acting so weird, and immature. Pick up you ego, and leave this kid alone, you're a man, and expect to act like it. Engaged at 16? I don't think so. Do as her parents said, let it go.

Romefalls19 · Feb 29, 2008, 10:49 AM

Let her go man, she is in high school, like Tal said, doing high school things. She is no where near ready to commit for the long haul. Both people involved seem a little immature to me, let her go and may this be a lesson. Don't go spreading rumors of her being a whore around, all it does is make you look pyscho, it was a kiss she didn't spread for the party. I know it hurts, but pick up the pieces and wave goodbye to this girl