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    alannaxxbby's Avatar
    alannaxxbby Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Feb 25, 2008, 05:21 PM
    Hope to find someone to save my relationship with my finance. :S
    My fiancé now supposivly has a baby. I just want to know before I dedicate my life to him. I've heard a lot of crazy stories. I've heard he does but I want to know the truth. He says he doesn't even though he knows I won't be mad if he does. He was with a girl for 3 years. He left her cause he said she's crazy then she said she was pregnant. He said they had a DNA test and he wasn't his. Her name is Lindsay Howland. She's 24-26? He said her birthday is Jan 14th but I could be wrong. She lived in Richland Georgia but grew up in Toledo Ohio? She could still live in Ohio. She has a son who should be around 2 and from what I know his name is David? He doesn't know I'm doing this. Its taken me like 4 months to figure all this out and I finally did so I just hope this info will help! That would be great if someone could help me find her so I can be for sure. Thanks :)
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #2

    Feb 25, 2008, 05:39 PM
    Why do you want to track her down? To find out about a child that your fiancée says is his? Is he paying child support to this woman?
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #3

    Feb 25, 2008, 05:45 PM
    So the boy who is two is not your fiance's child? Right? But now this same woman is pregnant and this child is supposed to be your fiance's? Did he impregnate her and then leave? You two hooked up and now are engaged? In how long a period? Not long I gather.

    Are you sure you want to be involved with him? He does not have a solid history so far, expect to make a baby with a woman and then leave. Has this baby been born already? If not, how did there come to be a DNA test before the baby is even born?

    Or am I reading this all wrong? Was there only the one child, the two year old, who is not his? Just how crazy is this other woman? What makes her crazy? He was with her for three years, maybe it is a two way street with them.

    I'd look serious and hard at this relationship you are in. Would wonder why it would be worth saving. Do you two plan on some couples counseling? Some pre-marriage counseling? Just how well do you actually know him? How long has you known him?
    alannaxxbby's Avatar
    alannaxxbby Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:38 PM
    No he was with a girl for 3 years. He left her they haven't been together in 2 in half years. When he left her she said she was pregnant when the baby was born he got a dna test and it said he wasn't his baby. That's what he tells me. But his Aunt texted me and said this baby was his and they named him David after his father who passed away. I found all this out through his aunt. I want to contact her to know for sure before I dedicate my life to him.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #5

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:44 PM
    If he got a DNA test, there should be paperwork from that. I don't think you want to contact her. Deal with him on this.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #6

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:46 PM
    I would want to know too, if I were you. I would want to see the physical results of the DNA test. Your fiancé should have a copy. Now if he truly is the Father of this boy, why wouldn't he be paying child support?

    You cannot always rely on family information - so asking for actual proof is something you should do. Not just a story here and there. You want to spend the rest of your life with this guy, then you deserve the honest answer.
    alannaxxbby's Avatar
    alannaxxbby Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
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    #7

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:47 PM
    I want to contact her, If I talk to him I can't be sure I know the whole truth. Its something I need to know before I can go through with this.
    alannaxxbby's Avatar
    alannaxxbby Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by shygrneyzs
    I would want to know too, if I were you. I would want to see the physical results of the DNA test. Your fiance should have a copy. Now if he truly is the Father of this boy, why wouldn't he be paying child support?

    You cannot always rely on family information - so asking for actual proof is something you should do. Not just a story here and there. You want to spend the rest of your life with this guy, then you deserve the honest answer.

    EXACTLY! Thanks :] When I bring it up we get in a argument, me not trusting him and what not. I can't rely on him for the awnser because I've already talked to him about it. He says its not, but his Aunt swears up and down it is.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #9

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:49 PM
    What makes you think she will tell you the truth?

    Ask him for the DNA test results.
    alannaxxbby's Avatar
    alannaxxbby Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
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    #10

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:52 PM
    I just want to know her side of this. I love him. Its hard hearing something like that and not knowing. I've heard a lot of things. I heard he hit her and I just want to know her side of what kind of person he is. She was with him 3 years and knows a lot more than I know after almost a year.
    oneguyinohio's Avatar
    oneguyinohio Posts: 1,302, Reputation: 196
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    #11

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:58 PM
    Just because you contact her doesn't mean you will know any truth from her. She could easily tell you something that isn't true... she might believe it to be true for that matter... but unless you see a DNA test result you will only have their stories.

    There are obviously some big trust issues going on here. If he had a DNA test done, then there would be a record of that at some court... or children's services agency somewhere. I wish you well in getting the information you are seeking.
    alannaxxbby's Avatar
    alannaxxbby Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
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    #12

    Feb 25, 2008, 07:04 PM
    Thank you, but I think that were done :( I posted another thread about our relationship and how to save it. I don't think there is any saving it. So I just need to let go. Im not going to worry about it. But thanks!
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #13

    Feb 25, 2008, 07:10 PM
    If you read her other post, she is right. There is nothing to save.
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-188282.html
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #14

    Feb 25, 2008, 07:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by alannaxxbby
    I just wanna know her side of this.
    "Her side of this" has nothing to do with anything. She could lie through her teeth about anything. She could hate him and would say anything. She might still love him and say anything. How would you know? You need that piece of paper showing the DNA results.
    alannaxxbby's Avatar
    alannaxxbby Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
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    #15

    Feb 26, 2008, 09:28 PM
    Its okay. Thanks anyway, for real. Were done and I guess none of that really matters anymore!
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #16

    Feb 26, 2008, 09:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by alannaxxbby
    Its okay. Thanks anyways, for real. Were done and I guess none of that really matters anymore!
    Good luck to you. You will find someone great that really and truly deserves you. Hang in there and know that we are here if you need to vent.

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