[timothyj20]

I have a 19 year old daughter. Her mother and I divorced when she was 2 years old. Her mother remarried and so did I. For the last 5 years my daughter asn't talk to me, respond to my e-mails, return my calls or nothing. I have 2 children from my 2nd marriage. I was a weekend dad to my 19 year old. But my wife worked weekends, so I had to take care of the little ones when she came over for the weekends making quality time very limited. When she reached 13 years old, she wanted to hang around with her friends and not come over on my weekends with her. After a while, she stopped coming over. For the past 5 years, I have written her letters, apoligizing about not spending important time and that I take full responsibility for the situation. I am heart broken. I love my daughter so much, yet to her, I do not exist. My 2 little ones miss her so much and ask about her all the time. I communicate with my exwife to see how she is doing, asking her if she could get my daughter to call me. I have had no results. Many people tell me to be patient, when she is older, she will talk to you. I missed all her growing up years. I want to know, is there anything I can do to make this right again. I miss my daughter and love her so much.:(

[rodandy12]

I think you need to see her face to face. At that meeting do the mea culpa and tell her that you want her in your life. Tell her that you are willing to do it on her terms. Tell her the little ones miss her. Be ready for her to dump a large amount of angst on you. Do not be defensive. Accept responsibility. Remember, you were focusing on establishing a new family at her expense. That's probably the way she sees it.

It may not be that bad, but you must prepare for the worst. Teenagers start relying more on their peers than on mom and dad and it makes a lot of sense that they do. The will have to work, compete and have fun more with their peers than with parents as they get older. The parent at home sees it clearly. The one not around probably can't and it may be a shock to see how much she has changed.

This may not get you where you want to be today. You have to play the game for the long term. You don't know what is happening in her life. You don't know what she has been told by her mom/step dad or her friends who are in what they deem to be similar situations. Expect there to be some hostility for things you have no knowledge of. Remember, she may not get it this go around, but as she matures, she will likely see things differently and remember you made this attempt to reestablish the relationship.