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Fireshadowdr · Feb 25, 2008, 07:13 AM

Im probably a lot younger than a lot of people on here so I hope you all can give me some good hints. Almost 2 months ago I met this girl ( I moved up to college, she moved from another country to this college) she is very beautiful, I love everything about her, and she's a really fun person to be with. I recently found out that there is an ex boyfriend in the same apartments as us, they broke up 3-4 months ago and I had a talk with her about it yesterday. She says they are only friends, and can never be together again. She also let me know she still has feelings for him, but she also makes me feel like she's interested in me and I know I'm not with this girl but I would really like to be and I honestly don't know how to move forward with getting her to to feel the same about me. If anyone can help me with this situation that would be great.

JBeaucaire · Feb 25, 2008, 08:24 AM

You don't need to spend any time right now worrying about exboyfriends. It's a complete waste of energy.

You don't need to make her feel the same about you as anyone else in the past. It's a complete waste of focus.

You don't need to be anything but the best "you" that you can be. If you honor, respect, and study who this girl is, then her fond feelings of exboyfriends should cause you no real problems other than ones you make them into.

She may actually have issues with her ex(es). You can't help with that other than being an absolutely wonderful alternative. That's where your energies should be going.

shygrneyzs · Feb 25, 2008, 08:28 AM

How do you know you truly love everything about this girl, when you have not dated? See the flaw in your reasoning? You might think you are in love with what you see but how well do you really know her?

If she still has some residual issues with her ex boyfriend, then she is the one that needs to take care of that. You are not the buffer or to be used for her to get over her ex.

Enjoy her friendship without moving into anything more right now. She is not ready and I do not think you are either.

Fireshadowdr · Feb 25, 2008, 08:47 AM

You both have really good points and I thank you for that, I think your right maybe I should take things slow and give it some time, we have in fact went on some dates but we are not together though.

Fireshadowdr · Feb 25, 2008, 08:49 AM

Jbeaucaire, you have an excellent point and ill really take that in mind, ill be the best me I can be and ill be that wonderful alternative =]

Fireshadowdr · Feb 26, 2008, 01:43 PM

Any other help anyone can give me?

Woodpecker4444 · Jul 13, 2011, 02:58 PM

I wouldn't give it more thought than you already have. She says they can't be together again but yet you know she still has feelings for him. That
Right there is a problem because she isn't emotionally available to open up for a relationship.

If you put more thought than you already have you're going to dig yourself in an emotional hole that you yourself will have to dig yourself out of

My best advice is to tell her how you feel about her and move on, give up hope even though it's hard but if she likes you as much as you like her she will come to you and that's up to her because she has to get over her ex in order for her to genuinely be with you.