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heartbreaker07 · Feb 25, 2008, 06:38 AM

I'm 20 and pregnant, I can't have a baby yet. It's a mistake.I live in jacksonville fl and I am thinking about abortion but I do not have the money.my parents won't help me and the father won't either, is there any way I could get the money for it? / and I am 2 months

Allheart · Feb 25, 2008, 07:09 AM

Forgive me, as I do not have the answer that you seek and I am only responding just to ask have you considered all of your options?

It's so normal to panic when something like this happens.

Have you given it good thought? Have you talked to others who have had an abortion or to those who have condsidered adoption?

Take out your yellow pages and look at the different agencies that may be able to give you helpful advice.

The choice you make today will be with you forever - so be sure and not rush into anything.

I in no way judge you in fact my heart is with you and I feel for you. I was never in your situation so I have no idea what you are going through.

I do pray about things and I will pray that God shines on you and helps you through this.

I know I did not answer your question but I just felt compelled to let you know you have been heard and to please think this completely through.

It is my belief, that what you have created could never be considered a mistake. The timing may not be as planned, and I think that's what you meant.

May God shine on you today and always.

I feel terrible for not actually answering your question but I do want you to know that we are here to listen and I am sure others will have support and advice for you as well.

Allheart

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2008, 07:16 AM

I'm going to assume that you have considered all the options are making what you feel is the best choice for you. If you haven't I suggest siting down with someone to discuss them and make sure you have considered all the consequences of the available choices.

Have you gone to a Planned Parenthood clinic? They can usually work something out for on the fee.

Also, have you told the father, that if he doesn't help you, you will be forced to have the child which means he will be on the hook for child support. That might spur him to cough up some money.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Feb 25, 2008, 07:33 AM

May I suggest putting the baby up for adoption? I think you would feel so much better to know that your baby is alive and taken care of instead of knowing that you killed it. I know I would. But hey... that is my advice to you.

THINK

JoeCanada76 · Feb 25, 2008, 07:39 AM

Abortion is not the only answer. Your going to let a live baby growing inside you. Your going to punish him/her because you did not protect yourself??

There is no such thing as a mistake. You need to weigh all your options, in your mind your family is not helping you out. In reality they are probably helping you out by facing the consequences of actions. So take care with your decision.

Joe

jennyrena · Feb 25, 2008, 07:46 AM

I Think That When Something Like This Happens We Freak Out . But Here Are A Few Things To Consider.things Happen For A Reason And God Knows What He's Doing Putting A Life Inside Of You. No Matter What Your Situation Is You Have To Look Back And Aren't You Glad Your Mom Didn't Make That Decision For You. I'm Glad Your Hear And You Can Not Imagine How Much You Will Love That Baby. I Have 3 And They Are Amazing And There Mine. I Had Children Young Also. But No Matter What You Can't Take Things Back Once You Have Done Them. And I Know Of Four Families Just In My Area Who Can't Have Children Because Having An Abortion Messed There Bodies Up. My Cousin Is One. She's 48 And Has Never Got To Be Blessed With Children. Imagine How Many People In The World Would Love To Have That Baby. But My Guess Is When You Look At That Precious Little Face You Might Not Ever Let It Leave Your Side. I Say This Out Of Love And Not Hurt You.but How Can We Decide To Take A Life Even If It Doesn't Suit Us At The Time. There Is A lot They Don't Tell You. Please Study On It Before Doing Something That You Will Always Have To Live With.that Baby Has A Heart Beat Just Like You Do.I Urge You To At Least Get Your Facts. Hope This Helps You.

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2008, 07:49 AM

I will caution people responding to this thread. I believe its OK (as I did) to encourage the OP to weigh carefully all the options and their consequences.

I do NOT believe its OK to try and scare her or lay a heavy guilt trip on her. She has the right to make her own choice based on what she feels is right for her, not what you feel is right. I will not let this thread go down that route.

The OP has not asked for help making a decision, but for help implementing it. While I do agree that advising serious consideration is appropriate, even incumbent on us, I believe we have to help her in what she decides for herself.

Allheart · Feb 25, 2008, 07:55 AM

I do agree Scott that we need to be careful. I struggled with my words. I do always worry as we never know the 'state" of the OP, and need to consider that and be careful.

I understand where everyone was coming from, I am guilty of not answering the young ladies question but I do offer her support if needed.

Allheart · Feb 25, 2008, 09:09 AM

HI Beautiful -

I don't want you to think you stand alone. I understand your passion, believe me I do.
I always vowed that I would never say anything after the fact, it serves no purpose, but before, I couldn't click past the post in good faith.

I've seen the films.

I just prayed before I typed then after. It's just such a tightrope to walk.

Anyway, I want to say I do admire your passion and I love you for it. Truly.
I do sometimes worry about OPs and how they handle things but I do understand the part of your heart you were coming from.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Feb 25, 2008, 09:17 AM

Allheart, Thank you so much for that lovely comment!

Here is what I believe: If a woman and a man is fully up to taking resposibility of a child, then no protection is needed.

Nurisim · Feb 25, 2008, 09:26 AM

First of all, props to you for knowing (and taking action) so early! A lot of girls delay a decision until the point where an abortion becomes much more complicated. You are still early in term, so if you do have an abortion, that will make it easier.
As others have said before, make absolutely sure that this is the only option, and that you can deal with the consequences. Getting information is important-- talk to someone knowledgeable. I think that going to your normal doctor (if you haven't already since you seem pretty on top of things) and discuss the HEALTH risks that are involved, not just with the surgery, but possible damage to fertility or higher risk of cancer etc. (some studies have shown that abortion or miscarriage of a first pregnancy can elevate chance of breast cancer). I am not trying to scare you! Just encouraging you to find out about the things an abortion counselor may not know. When making a decision like this, it is important for YOUR HEALTH to know exactly what is involved, and what the dangers are.
Many clinics (especially planned parenthood) can negotiate payment. The best thing to do is to talk to them. I will advise you to NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES try anything but a SURGICAL abortion in a clinic. There are pills and herbal things out there that claim to be abortifacients, but should be avoided at all costs (the morning after pill is really the only SAFE one, and obviously needs to be taken within about 24-48 hours). There are some prescription ones, but I am not even sure if they are even still prescribed.
I also encourage you to explore other options. Abortion isn't the only way to avoid having to raise a child. But if you decide it is the best decision for you, just make sure you are informed, so you don't have any unpleasant surprises. And good luck.

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2008, 09:48 AM

I will repeat again. I've drawn a line here and I will not allow posts that go over that line. Read my other post about where that line is. Posts will be edited or deleted if they step over the line.

If you want to discuss the various pros and cons of abortion there are other threads that do that. This thread is not going to be the place for that.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Feb 25, 2008, 09:51 AM

Then what is this thread for?

jennyrena · Feb 25, 2008, 09:52 AM

It's Not Going To Be A Place To Disagree With Scott?? Or Not Going To Be A Place To Help This Person With Both Sides Of A Decision. I Know What She Will Face In A Couple Of Years And It's Sad We Can't Help Her With That.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Feb 25, 2008, 09:54 AM

It seems you have deleted only my posts. I'm insulted.

jennyrena · Feb 25, 2008, 10:00 AM

No Mine Was Deleted Also. It Wasn't Agreed With.

jennyrena · Feb 25, 2008, 10:02 AM

I Think A Woman Can Relate Better To Another Woman. You Can Say You've Had Experience When You Have Made A Life Inside Of You

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2008, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

Then what is this thread for?

First I have not deleted or edited only your posts. However, I have clearly drawn a line here and I will not allow anything over that line.

Second, this thread is to help the OP with her question. As I said, she did not ask for help making a decision only implementing it.

This is not about disagreeing with me. This is about helping the OP. And it is NOT helping her to have someone impose their beliefs and values on her.

Allheart · Feb 25, 2008, 10:10 AM

Hi guys, If the OP was sitting in front of you, you could take her by her hand and discuss the things that you feel are concerns. This way she can have immediate input and you can monitor her well being and ability to absorb your well meaning words.

Basically, she asked the question where she could get the money. That was the extent of her question.

I felt terrible for not directly answering her question.

In a loving way, we can incoporate our concerns while trying to help her.

I do completely understand the passion - but it has to be channled in a way that it will be heard without harm.

Okay? :)

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Feb 25, 2008, 10:44 AM

Allheart, you are full of heart! You are right. We should stick to the original question.

To the OP, there are different 24/7 hotlines you can call for info. As aboved posted, contact your doctor. He/she will help with what's best for you. As far as the money situation, I don't know how you can get it. Maybe planned parenthood? I know they do a lot of services for a small donation. Good luck!