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taramtly · Feb 24, 2008, 01:37 PM

Hello, I was wondering if anyone knows about the family laws in Mo.
My husband has had a child out of wedlock with his ex-girlfriend,they split up due to her unfaithfulness during her pregnancy.He has always been up to date on his child support,she however is always refusing his visits and he has recently filed to take her to court to get his visits.She has always been jealous of me marrying him and has done everything down to try to get a restaing order on me (which failed). She is now taking us back to court saying she is never allowed to talk to my husband personally and that I refuse to let her alk to him.
MY husband is actually the one who refuses to talk to her due to th e fact that she is a tramp(married 3x,1 child out of wedlock,and numerous boyfriends)and tries to seduce hom from everything from words to body language, and so I talk to her if she calls.And I don't need anyone giving me their opinion on how we should handle her I was just curious if anyone knows if there is a law in Mo. Stating he has to be the one that talks to her and that I as his wife CANNOT.

George_1950 · Feb 24, 2008, 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by taramtly

Hello, I was wondering if anyone knows about the family laws in Mo....
I was just curious if anyone knows if ther is a law in Mo. stating he has to be the one that talks to her and that I as his wife CANNOT.

I'm not from MO or familiar with the laws of MO, but my guess is that she cannot 'decree' that he has to be the one that talks to her. She is being overbearing.

s_cianci · Feb 24, 2008, 01:46 PM

I doubt that any such law exists. As long as there is no restraining order, you can talk to her all you want. And if she has specifically requested that you not talk to her, you'd be wise to go along with that and not do it. But practically it might be hard for him to exercise his visitation if he refuses to talk with her at all. He could try to get the judge to order that the child be picked up and dropped off at a neutral location, such as a grandparent's house. That of course would require her cooperation as well and the grandparents'.

N0help4u · Feb 24, 2008, 01:47 PM

I have never heard of such a law. Freedom of speech! As long as your husband maintains he doesn't want to talk to her and it has nothing to do with you she is going to look really stupid. She can take you to court because anybody can take anybody to court for anything... but she will look stupid.

shygrneyzs · Feb 24, 2008, 03:15 PM

This is something your husband needs to take care of and to leave you out of this battle. He made the child - even if he calls this ex of his names - he slept with her and created the child. What does that make him, when he calls her a tramp?

Maybe he should be proactive on this and be the one to take the ex to court about visitations. Why wait for this ex of his to drop the shoe? Take care of his business ASAP.

JudyKayTee · Feb 24, 2008, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by taramtly

Hello, I was wondering if anyone knows about the family laws in Mo.
My husband has had a child out of wedlock with his ex-girlfriend,they split up due to her unfaithfulness during her pregnancy.He has always been up to date on his child support,she however is always refusing his visits and he has recently filed to take her to court to get his visits.She has always been jealous of me marrying him and has done everything down to try to get a restaing order on me (which failed). She is now taking us back to court saying she is never allowed to talk to my husband personally and that I refuse to let her alk to him.
MY husband is actualy the one who refuses to talk to her due to th e fact that she is a tramp(married 3x,1 child out of wedlock,and numerous boyfriends)and tries to seduce hom from everything from words to body language, and so I talk to her if she calls.And I don't need anyone giving me thier opinion on how we should handle her I was just curious if anyone knows if ther is a law in Mo. stating he has to be the one that talks to her and that I as his wife CANNOT.

No.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 24, 2008, 03:52 PM

There is no law, but you will have to follow the ruling of the court, remember it is your husband, not you that has the visitation order. You have to understand he may not want to have to talk to her but it is his kids and he will have to talk to his ex sometimes, that is just common sense. The court can order that only he can pick up the kids, and so on.

So while there is no law, the judge can order anything he wants in these cases.

taramtly · Feb 24, 2008, 08:24 PM

Originally Posted by shygrneyzs

This is something your husband needs to take care of and to leave you out of this battle. He made the child - even if he calls this ex of his names - he slept with her and created the child.

What does that make him, when he calls her a tramp?

Maybe he should be proactive on this and be the one to take the ex to court about visitations. Why wait for this ex of his to drop the shoe? Take care of his business ASAP.

Sounds to me like you have a tendency of being partial to her kind of lifstyle,what else would you call someone who has been 3x,has a kid out of wedlock,been on birth control since she was 12,has had several boyfriends,and continues to flirt with men? I don't know what that sound sto you ,but to me it sounds like a tramp and my husband does not want to give her a chance on getting her web on him he wants to live above reproach,his mistake was made long ago,and he regrets it every day of his life.

N0help4u · Feb 24, 2008, 08:36 PM

No it just sounds like he shouldn't be hiding behind you.
He does need to be proactive and responsible rather than relying on you to be his spokesperson.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 24, 2008, 08:47 PM

Yes, it is HIS place to be dealing with his ex. His ex does not have to talk to you if she don't not want to, Forcing her to talk to you will only cause more and more issues and problems It is his child and his needs to start talking to her about the child only, he doe not have to be places with her, see her except to pick the child up, but expecting an ex to talk and deal with his current is just silly and asking for trouble

JudyKayTee · Feb 25, 2008, 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by taramtly

Sounds to me like you have a tendancy of being partial to her kind of lifstyle,what else would you call somone who has been 3x,has a kid out of wedlock,been on birth control since she ws 12,has had several boyfriends,and continues to flirt with men? I don't know what that sound sto you ,but to me it sounds like a tramp and my husband does not want to give her a chance on getting her web on him he wants to live above reproach,his mistake was made long ago,and he regrets it every day of his life.

It sounds to me like your husband "does not want to give her a chance on getting her web on him, he wants to live above reproach" so he can't even talk to her on the phone and you have to deal with her so she won't tempt him. And you defend this? I think he should grow some body parts.

And, no, I'm not partial to "her" kind of lifestyle - multiple marriages, kids out of wedlock (isn't that also your husband's kid?), birth control since age 12, several boyfriends (I don't know the problem with that), flirts with men - and that's why I didn't marry a guy who spent time with her. You did.

And you sound very, very angry -

shygrneyzs · Feb 25, 2008, 05:43 AM

Me? Partial to this woman's lifestyle? NO. But your husband might have been, since something about this woman attracted him. Your husband may want to live a life beyond reproach but my dear, he was right in that gutter with that woman. Everyone can mess up and be forgiven, yes.

It sounds like you are a tad insecure - describing this woman as weaving her seduction web over your husband. What is he? A fly and this woman the spider? He needs some backbone and he needs to quit using you as his shield to defend his sorry a$$.

jp242 · Feb 25, 2008, 11:26 AM

Just a side note to the original question. I don't know the laws of MO. but several states handle custody cases via arbitration and mediation as it is less of a burden on the court system. During mediation the ex can request that you not be present and she (well, her lawyer) could also ask that part of the custody agreement include a clause stating that you are not to have contact with her and that any parental issues be communicated between the parents, of which one you are not (step-parent status aside).

cdad · Feb 25, 2008, 04:28 PM

He is the father and he created this mess. Now what he can do is ask for the things mentioned earlier like neutral drop off points etc. but he can also ask a judge for contact focusing on the child only in a business fashion. That means being polite and no name calling. Discussing communications that pertain to the child only in a civil manner. No cussing swearing or blessing out of each other especially in front of the child or within earshot. You can ask for this and it may be granted as I know some people like myself that have had simaler court orders to keep things civil for the children. Remember most that the important thing is the child.