[totallycrushedup]

I'm 22, I've never been in a relationship until recently, they scare me, but I'm very good at the wrong things, as in flirting and giving lads the wrong impression. I've had many text relationships with guys, but nothing sexual, just a bit flirty. I'm not in the slightest dirty minded, although I can openly discuss dirty things with my friends and even friends that are boys, but in real life its totally different.

I've been bought up in a christian background, my parents didn't have sex before marriage, and we never as a family discuss sex or anything related. I love my family to pieces, but that have been very strict all my life, but I respect them as they were probably just concerned for me and wanted the best for me. I will admit I am a loner, I love my own company, having the house to myself, doing my own thing, and most of all no commitment!

I've turned down numerous lads, as I am fussy, not over looks (that is a bonus) but over personality, morals etc, they have to be similar to me.

I met a lad 23, and I fell for him, when I realised he liked me, I backed off as I like the idea but again real life views are different. He pestered me and eventually I said id give it a go. We lasted 1 and a half months before I started to feel unhappy and uncomfortable. I can't easily express emotions and feelings.

He was heartbroken, he really loved me, he has been begging for me back. The thing is I'm not sure what I want.

This guy is very good looking, is charming, and I did at times feel very happy and comfortable with him, but at the same time I can't help but feel we had views on things and perhaps a personality clash. But I'm not sure if that's me trying to find excuses for the fact that I just can't deal with commitment, and spending the time I'm not with him texting him. Its so confusing and I'm really down and unhappy. I keep thinking if I wanted to be with him I would know about it, but then I look at couples and think yes I want someone, but then deep down I don't know what I want. I can't keep him waiting or leading him on, but he keeps texting saying please and begging me.

I feel I should be enjoying life, but instead I'm trapped inside a body that is full of emotions and being someone I don't want to be. I'm highly insecure, but when I told my mum that she said it upset her to think I was insecure.

Please help me

[Marriedguy]

Its very difficult to advise someone that doesn't know what they want. You say that you found a nice guy that you fell for? Yet you didn't want to date.. but after a while of talking you finally broke down. Then you find out you have different views? And this create a clash.. what are these views? It sounds like if you didn't clash you would still be happy to be with him.