[cweddy9]

Thanks to those who responded to my earlier thread. Refer to it if you need to know the details.

I love this girl, not only from a girlfriend perspective but best friend as well. 4 years, seeing each other nearly everyday, or speaking- supporting and everything it is very tough to not speak to them.

Long story short, with this girl for 4 years, went os for a sporting committment- ended up being terrible. She wanted to stay together which was good. I was away not tempted, and realised she is the one. Still talking on the phone most days keeping in contact. She has found new frineds through work and I was glad she wasn't sitting on her arse at home mopping (even though I know she did for the first 2 weeks). Just before chrissy she booked flights we were to travel in march for a month then move in together in may.

She relied on me heavily- and suddenly after newyears around 20th jan, she wants to do her own thing, 'were to young' etc. she's never spoken like this which was weird. Naturally I flippped a little, thought it was a nightmare and came home (I was alone os, very depressing situation). She says I've done nothing wrong, I don't deserve a guy like you- but I don't feel the same- I love you like a best friend. I can't swallow it because she says she could marry me- and anyway, we ended it with her saying 'i just need time'.

No contact since Tuesday, doing OK. I leave back os on the 5th march, that will be 2 weeks without contact. Problem here is she is remembering the moppy, sooky bloke that has been there for the last two months.

I am getting better, and understand that we're young- should I meet with her, I know I will be happy and natural around her by then, should we do something fun? Should I just say to her I understand and support her (if you love them you'll let them go). I'm getting to the stage where Im just glad I have had those 4 years- some people never find it in life... she's a gem but, I would make her happy and vice versa.

Or just go away without contact - she is still going over as planned for 5 weeks by herself, she will definatley get more clarity about me by then.

The big thing I ve realised- I have put someone else first for 4 years, thought about how they would react and everything. Time for me to kick arse!

Looking forward to thoughts on this- greatly appreciated!

Ps- no other guy is involved- I assure you. She hasn't been single since school... does she want an identity away from me? Or is she wanting something fresh (I think I know what people might say)

[ihatewestseneca]

Keep NC! She knows where you are, she knows your number, she knows when you'll be back... let her come to you.

[ISneezeFunny]

Keep going nc. You'll be fine in a few. Just look for "she needs space" or "she needs time" on the relationship forum... and you'll find a million and a half people just like you.

Disclaimer: you assure us that "no other guy is involved"... I wouldn't bank on that too hard. It's not that I don't believe you. It's very possible that she just needs time/space... but I once also said, "there's no way she has a new guy"... mainly because, I was her first everything.

2 weeks later... man was I wrong.

[talaniman]

I make it unanimous, keep NC, and go on with your life.

[confused25]

I hate to say it but you got to go NC. She is slowly seeing you more and more as a friend and for your own sanity you need to take some time for yourself.