[lrieken]

If I have not pursued child support when the child was a minor, can I now file for back support if the child is of legal age? If so, with which state should I file? I live in Missouri and the father lives in Montana. The child also lives in Missouri. I have fully raised this child with no support from the father, although he acknowledges paternity.

[cjonline]

How old is the child?

I assume from your questions that you never had a support order with the courts. Like with most things there is a statute of limitations, in both Missouri and Montana its 10 years. Depending on how old the child is... I would talk to an attorney.

[ScottGem]

The purpose of support is to assist in the raising of the child. If the child is now an adult and no support was ever pursued, then you missed the boat.

[lrieken]

How old is the child?

I assume from your questions that you never had a support order with the courts. Like with most things there is a statute of limitations, in both Missouri and Montana its 10 years. Depending on how old the child is... I would talk to an attorney.

This child is now 21. She was has had 2 children and now I am helping her financially with my grandchildren. She lives on her own but as you can imagine it is difficult.

[lrieken]

The purpose of support is to assist in the raising of the child. If the child is now an adult and no support was ever pursued, then you missed the boat.

I wholly understand that support is to assist in the raising of the child, however, if I did ALL of the assisting when she was growing up, what makes it OK that the father should not be held accountable. She is now a mother of her own, working full time, raising 2 children and doing college online. Shouldn't she get some assistance from a man who has not paid a dime in 18 years?? Also, it may be helpful to know that while she was a teenager, I did attempt to pursue child support but we didn't have enough personal information on him to locate him successfully. So did I really miss the boat, or did he successfully "escape" on the boat??

[ScottGem]

I did attempt to pursue child support but we didn't have enough personal information on him to locate him successfully. So did I really miss the boat, or did he successfully "escape" on the boat?????

Yes to both. You missed the boat by not pursuing child support from the that she was born and he escaped by your inaction.

Is it fair? No its not. This deadbeat should have been held accountable for where he deposited his sperm. You didn't do it and you are stuck with that.

[JudyKayTee]

I wholly understand that support is to assist in the raising of the child, however, if I did ALL of the assisting when she was growing up, what makes it OK that the father should not be held accountable. She is now a mother of her own, working full time, raising 2 children and doing college online. Shouldn't she get some assistance from a man who has not paid a dime in 18 years???? Also, it may be helpful to know that while she was a teenager, I did attempt to pursue child support but we didn't have enough personal information on him to locate him successfully. So did I really miss the boat, or did he successfully "escape" on the boat?????

You were asking a legal question, not a moral question, and the legal answer is you cannot collect back support for an adult child. I don't know why you waited until she was in her teens to attempt to collect and I'm VERY surprised that your local child support agency couldn't find him or that you didn't have enough personal info to find him but unfortunately it's too late now.

If your daughter is raising 2 children, working full time and going to College I know it doesn't make up for supporting her by yourself but you can be very, very proud of her accomplishments because you raised her by yourself. Small comfort, perhaps, but a comfort.

Of course the answer to the moral question is, yes, he should support his child but if you've read through the various threads you know how often that's a problem.

I would venture a guess that you have now been able to locate him and that's why you're asking?

[stinawords]

One way you can help her is to encourage her to get the support from their father while they are still young so she dosen't end up with the same problem. It's still a tough situation though.

[cjonline]

I have to agree with Scott on this on. If she had just turned 18 and/or still in school you might be able to get support but she's 21 with kids. I can't see the courts giving anything to your daughter (or you) for back support now. If you didn't go after it-- for whatever reason --it was your choice, its too late to change your mind now. The courts or your local CSEA has ways of finding the "missing" parent. If you didn't go forward then you just missed out.

Is you're your grandkids father helping raise and support the kids?

[lrieken]

I have to agree with Scott on this on. If she had just turned 18 and/or still in school you might be able to get support but she's 21 with kids. I can't see the courts giving anything to your daughter (or you) for back support now. If you didn't go after it-- for whatever reason --it was your choice, its too late to change your mind now. The courts or your local CSEA has ways of finding the "missing" parent. If you didn't go forward then you just missed out.

Is your your grandkids father helping raise and support the kids?

To addresss the first part... it seems legally right, but morally wrong! I was young and only wanted my child to be OK. When she was born, he told me some information that made me believe that he would not be a good influence on my daughter, and given the choice to do over again, her well-being is worth more than any support order could have provided! Someone in a previous post asked why I waited until she was a teen... it was because until she was a teen, I would have been MADE to allow him contact, once a teen she could make that choice for herself. My thoughts in again trying to pursuing it is more about helping her out now, than what I went through then. As for previous attempts, my local CSE needed more information than I could provide... SSN, location, job info, family info, etc. Since he left the state when I was pregnant I didn't know any of that. I have been able to find out more information (family information) recently, so it might be that I would have more luck.

As for my grandchildren... I am blessed! My daughter and the father are together, they just recently got married and he is a wonderful father and husband. They were both very young when they had the first child but he stepped up to the plate and is everything her father was not! He has just finished his GED, she graduated with honors and is now taking college courses online while working full time. They have a hard go of it financially and I wanted them to have some relief financially. I am very very proud of them both and am thankful history will not repeat itself in this situation.

[lrieken]

If your daughter is raising 2 children, working full time and going to College I know it doesn't make up for supporting her by yourself but you can be very, very proud of her accomplishments because you raised her by yourself. Small comfort, perhaps, but a comfort.

Of course the answer to the moral question is, yes, he should support his child but if you've read through the various threads you know how often that's a problem.

I would venture a guess that you have now been able to locate him and that's why you're asking?

Please read the other post I submitted... I have responded to each of the points you have made. Thank you so much for your nice words... I think I have will just thank God they are all OK...

[Fr_Chuck]

Was there previous orders for support already awarded by the court? If so, then he owes you the back support not past the statue of limitation.

If you never went and got a order of child support I doubt there is any chance at this point, but then it is worth talking to an attorney.