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helpneededinMI · Feb 17, 2008, 07:33 AM

I will try to make this as short as possible we have been together 20 years the first part of 2007 was great we were working toghther better than ever. I lost my job in June and money got tight Im back to work or I was till an accident on jan 5th of this year and I am off for at least 2 more weeks because of that now.
The stress had gotten worse with the job loss but we were still working together. A couple of weeks ago I noticed she was just not as open as she had been with me and as we talked about it she said that she wasent shure how she felt about us anymore and needed time to get her head on strait. Well space and living in the same house doesn't work so well.
The week after that I did do more of the things she had been asking me to do around the house things were starting to look better in my eyes we had sex, cudled on the couch then last Sunday she was down in the dumps again and I tried to talk to her and it turned in to a fight and she said she just couldn't take it anymore. She said she could see I was trying but she didn't know if she had it in her to try anymore. We did this for 4 days and she went to stay at her mothers on valentines day she was going to move out on Tuesday but didn't because it was my birthday I told her to go anyway all we were doing was going over and over the same sh*t anyway.
Our bills are very inertwined as I am sure you can immagine 20 years. On Friday she came here after work and paid the bills I asked if she was going to file her taxes we were going to use them to pay the mortgage this month. She never really gave me an anser I did remind her how important it was. Can't be late or right now we could lose the house.
It has been very hard on me to give her the space but I am doing it. I will not call her this weekend at all. I gave her my word. But at the same time how much space should I give her If she doent file those taxes Monday or Tuesday we will not get them in time and Im not sure we will anymore anyway.

Any input would help a lot.

talaniman · Feb 17, 2008, 09:51 AM

You have no choice but to give her space and I don't think she cares about the house at this point, so my advice is cover your own A$$ financially or pack up and move. Sorry for your loss, but putting all your eggs in her basket, is not wise.

helpneededinMI · Feb 17, 2008, 12:13 PM

Well she said leaving her that she would not leave me screwed. I am tacking care of all of the animals and our daughter the no NC rule works great if you do not have any ties but we do and none of this stuff was worked out before she left. She did not move out she just went to her mothers and did not take all of her stuff. I agreed not to call this weekend at all and I won't. How do you do NC with so many ties to a pearson and so much to straiten out yet.

talaniman · Feb 17, 2008, 11:20 PM

NC is not for you friend, at this point in time, but still give her space, as she will contact you. She has to. Just don't call her.

helpneededinMI · Feb 18, 2008, 05:25 AM

I wish it was that easy for me she has been a major part of my life for 20 years and this is the hardest thing I have ever done. The worst part is she never said it was over she just said to take it one day at a time.

MOWERMAN2468 · Feb 18, 2008, 06:12 AM

You better pack a lunch, I suspect you are in for a long haul. And if you have to rely on your taxes to make your house payment for this month. Sounds as though you are trying to live beyond your means. Be cautious in the future.

helpneededinMI · Feb 18, 2008, 06:36 AM

The only reason I need the taxes to make the payment this month is because I have been off work for 7 weeks now due to a car accident and the insurance has not started paying yet they are going to but most likely not in time.

helpneededinMI · Feb 20, 2008, 08:37 PM

Just an update it all came to an end tonight I am so glad its over she lashed out at me again and told me all of the things I did wrong. This wasent all me but I'm glad she said it that wayIt made me see her as she has always been selfish and imature and never thinking she had any part in anything Im so glad she's gone I can be happy again.

Just a question where do you meet people these days. For when Im ready I want to be single for awhile at least for now I am only responsible for me.