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    peircedmofo's Avatar
    peircedmofo Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 9, 2008, 02:22 PM
    Is it too soon?
    Me and my girlfrined have been dating for a month and sixteen days and I love her with all of my haert and I want to ask her to marry me is it to soon?:(
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
    Vision Expert
     
    #2

    Feb 9, 2008, 02:53 PM
    If you think it is, then yes. Ask her, not us. For some people that's too early for some it isn't. How old are the two of you? I would ask her at what age she wants to get married. And what she considers too young or too early. Ask her.
    Ayshasid's Avatar
    Ayshasid Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #3

    Feb 9, 2008, 06:43 PM
    I would say hold on. Its lovely to feel so passionately about someone, but if you do want to share the rest of your life with her what's the hurry? Give yourself some time to make sure your making the right decision. Enjoy getting to know her right now.
    Cheshire2008's Avatar
    Cheshire2008 Posts: 74, Reputation: 17
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Feb 9, 2008, 07:10 PM
    It takes time to know someone. The first few weeks and months are the honeymoon stage. In 6 months a person will show you as much as they want to expose to you .
    Sometimes what draws you to someone might repel you later
    Example:
    She cannot make a decision without me! Later: My god she can't make a decision on her own.She is so child like and fun later : she acts like a baby and always wants her way.
    In a year you will see them go through challenges good times bad times. How they react in a crisis etc...
    Why rush this enjoy your dating time be romantic be silly
    All I can tell you is Forever is a very long time if you are married to the wrong person
    If you are married to the right person it is not long enough.
    Just chill and enjoy each other.
    newtribemember's Avatar
    newtribemember Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Feb 15, 2008, 09:44 AM
    From someone who is coming out of a marriage to someone they didn't know... yes, its too soon. Relationships go through "seasons" as my pastor described, and until you know how your relationship will weather through these seasons, its best not to jump in and take the plunge. I didn't know my husband well enough after a year and a half and am filing for divorce just after a year of marriage. Weddings are beautiful and expensive, divorces are ugly, nasty and very costly. Spend time with her, really get to know her. If you truly want to spend the rest of your life with her, what difference will it make to wait a few more months (or years) before asking?
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Feb 15, 2008, 09:52 AM
    1. Since you're counting days... it tells me you're in middle school/high school.
    2. a month isn't long enough to know ANYONE. I recently had a thread that said "How long before the crazy came out?" which talked about how long guys dated girls before the "crazy" came out. Average... 1.5 - 2 years.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Feb 15, 2008, 09:53 AM
    Just like a fine wine, time will only mature, grow, and ultimately beautify your relationship.

    Don't rush it.
    c23's Avatar
    c23 Posts: 60, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Feb 15, 2008, 10:05 AM
    Try talking with her like saying other people married after 1 month and 16 days and ask would you marry if is was us? If she says no tell her that neither you would if she says yes ask her

    I hop this helps :)
    c23's Avatar
    c23 Posts: 60, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Feb 15, 2008, 10:05 AM
    Try talking with her like saying other people married after 1 month and 16 days and ask would you marry if is was us? If she says no tell her that neither you would if she says yes ask her

    I hope this helps :)
    BMI's Avatar
    BMI Posts: 892, Reputation: 270
    Senior Member
     
    #10

    Feb 15, 2008, 10:08 AM
    Whoa, step back, wayyyyyy back.

    You sound very young and suggesting marriage after 1 1/2 months confirms that you probably are too young to be discussing something like that. Haveyou been in a relationship before? I ask because, as stated above, the first weeks/months are considered the honeymoon phase, everythig is perfect and everyday youwake you want to shout I LOVE YOU from the rooftops. With time comes maturity and with maturity comes the realization of these very points. Talk to yor parents or an elder whom you trust, they will be able to help.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #11

    Feb 15, 2008, 10:19 AM
    Getting married is about saying, "OK, we've reached the point where we are ready to stand up against the world on all issues...finance, religion, politics, parenting, old girlfriends, PMS, sports, travel... will never separate us because we've grown and are ready for anything."

    A marriage proposal after 5 weeks sure as hell should scare this girl away.

    I doubt that is what you want. So, if YOU feel you've really reached that point then TEST it. Give yourselves time to confirm it. It's not your romantic FEELINGs that will make a marriage last, it is your commitment... that's a mental process, not a heart one.

    This is definitely the honeymoon period for daters. 6 months minimum before you can think of permanence... 12 months and you can be positive you've seen pretty much everything your mate has to throw at you emotionally. At that point you can make a mature and solid decision.

    Since you want to spend the rest of your life with her starting now, this still qualifies, doesn't it? If you find you still want to marry her in 6 months and AREN'T rationalizing away crazy behaviors of hers (or yours), then go for it.

    How old are you, by the way?

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