[beth911]

My boyfriend says he's a sociopath. It makes sense I guess. How do I deal with this. Because iv'e had enough now where I could almost leave him. At the same time is it right to leave him just because of that?

[Greg Quinn]

Posted by: Anonymous
I had a child with a sociopath. He's already used the courts to harass, abuse and control me. He's able to convince lawyers, guardian ad litem and judge, despite having his ex-wife on my side and taking excellent notes of things that happened. How can I protect myself and my child in the future from this monster?
Posted by: Anonymous

Hi Beth911. You seem to have some really messed up people in your life. It must be a lot for you to take in. I hope you are OK! You know, if you are with a sociopath... You may need to think about if its going to work out. You said

I've had enough now where I could almost leave him

It seems to me you know the end is inevitable, but the timing just is not good and/or you still have that attached love and loyalty. I did some research on this after reading your question, and I think everyone has a little sociopath in them. But if you get one person with an abundance of those traits you are looking at a very serious problem. It seems to me that the majority need to drag people down with them, and when they reach bottom they thrive again to do it to someone else. It seems to me also that they are survivors, having little empathy for the damage they cause. I see that it is a selfish disease, if I were you I would move on. I'm a loyal guy, but even you said you've almost had enough. Big ups and downs are something he may be used to, but to bring you down with him would hurt you a lot more than it would ever hurt him. Maybe when you leave him you can give him the reasons, maybe reference some form of therapy he can get. It might take a lot for him to admit that he is a sociopath, or he's a sociopath that can see the end of your relationship coming and he may be using it as an excuse/reason for mistreating you. Over all, you are a compassionate caring girl who a sociopath learns to attract. Very charming in public and to friends & family (at first) But you will leave him one day, its just a matter of when you find the courage.

[beth911]

This is messed up.. just read these so you get the idea of how I'm being treated. These are messages he sent me..

Honestly? I don't have feelings for you. The only reason I'm with you still is to humor you. I know you won't get better, and you won't change. But I'll let you believe you will, and I'll stay with you until I find the right person

You don't deserve respect or love. You don't do anything to deserve it

Your lucky I accept you and am seen with you. You aren't fit to scrape the dirt from my shoes
And with that, I'm off

Then he said he's been wanting to leave for the past 10 months and all kinds of

I told him its his decision and I don't really care. But this is it.

[simoneaugie]

OOooh, get away from him. Yesterday.

[Greg Quinn]

That is a bit of an odd answer, you don't care? Its his decision? I think maybe you should just leave him alone and get a new phone number.

[sd1025]

Is this the same guy j as before? Because if it is run far far away and quite talking to him all together.

[beth911]

He gets mad at me for ignoring him.
When I talk about things they aren't important enough for him
I try to leave him alone but when I finally get thr strength to do that he keeps telling me to make up my mind. When I already say no he still tells me that. If I say yeah he still says that.
I can't get away from him. I would still want to be with him but I know he's never going to change and I don't want to be with someone who treats me that way.

[peggyhill]

Honey, the way he is talking to you is called verbal abuse. Verbal abuse often eventually turns into physical abuse. You should run, not walk, away from this guy. Have you ever thought about giving counseling a try? It can be a really big help when you have to leave a relationship. It helps you learn about healthy relationships and how to deal with feelings about this guy.

You are absolutely right when you say "i know he's never gonna change". Sadly, people usually don't. I've seen people make the mistake of trying to "fix" someone in the relationship, and in the end, that person usually dragged the other person down instead of changing their behavior. It would be great if he did change someday, but he obviously isn't now, and you have to do what is healthy for you.

I know it's hard to leave someone, but sometimes that is the best thing for yourself. What if it escalates from verbal to physical? I think talking to a counselor might really help. If you don't want to pay for counseling, consider talking to a relative, good friend, or a religious leader (if that applies to you). And of course, you call always come here for support!

[simoneaugie]

So, if you do distance yourself from him, he contacts you and tells you you can't make up your mind? Make up that mind. Arrange things so that he can not get close enough to tell you things that twist your brain, cause pain and confusion. That is not a good relationship! But, then you knew that already.

Love him. But take care of yourself. Love yourself enough to get away from his manipulation of your thoughts and emotions. Love yourself enough to be able to really love him. You need to know all about verbal abuse, and why people do it. Find out why you keep spending time with him when he beats you up with words and attitude every single time.

[beth911]

I can't leave him. I try. And I'm fine with it but this time, he still tries talking to me. Yet he says he doesn't like me and that he won't give me any more chances. Then why does he keep talking to me and why can't he just leave me alone?

[beth911]

I have yet to read the past few posts... sorry

[Greg Quinn]

Lmao

[Cheshire2008]

I agree with everyone else. You need to cut the ties that bind you and get out of dodge.
Verbal abuse is the hardest because people cannot see your scare. He is playing with your mind. Don't let him into your thoughts. I know this is hard to do. But something tells me you can do it!
Good luck

[plaidlady]

Yeah it sounds like the guy is very immature and playing head games.. can we make up your mind for you and tell you to find someone else who does not play games? Why would you love someone that talks to you like that? Maybe you are just used to the routine of it all now, but honestly life is about change and bettering yourself and the guy does not seem like he will help you get anywhere. Tell him to go mind screw someone else

[beth911]

Well, lately he's been acting better again and saying he loves me all the time and all that. But its still not perfect. I have a problem though. We quit talking for a while and I met someone online that I really like and would treat me PERFECT. I'm thinking about leaving him to be with this other guy. I don't know if I want to do that though or not. I might meet the guy this summer. I could see how things go between now and then and make up my mind. But if I choose to be with the other guy, what about my boyfriend. How do I explain that to him. What if he tries to hurt himself? And does he deserve that? I ALWAYS promised him I would never cheat on him or leave him for someone else. Now, I see I lied. And I don't know what to do. I know the best thing to do is wait and see how it goes but I'm just not that patient.
And soon I can start seeing my boyfriend more. But I know no matter how well me and him both try to get along, for some reason it NEVER is as good as I would like it to be.

[Choux]

If your boyfriend's a sociopath, that makes you a VICTIM. His victim. Get out.

[susangpyp]

If you can't leave a sociopath who treats you like dirt, you have to get some help. Employ the help of your support system... STAY AWAY FROM HIM. If you can't you should consider getting therapy because his treatment of you is harmful and your acceptance of it is unhealthy.

YOU CAN LEAVE HIM. Just ignore him. If you want to take care of you, you need to do it. Ignore any of his attempts at communication. A sociopath does not care about anyone but himself. RUN AWAY.

[beth911]

I just broke up with him
I don't know why I did though
Now I can't stop crying
I don't know why I would do this to myself
Everything was getting better

[susangpyp]

I just broke up with him
idk y i did though
now i can't stop crying
idk why i would do this to myself
everything was getting better

If you want to get better and move on, you can do it. Crying is part of the process.

Going directly to someone else is NOT the answer. You need some time to work on you and figure out what you are doing and where you are going. Don't dive into another relationship right away.

[beth911]

I feel better leaving him and knowing he can't hurt me again. And leaving him feels better than any time he's tried to leave me. But it still hurts
Do u think maybe he'll realize it one day and want me back?