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    alm9653's Avatar
    alm9653 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 12, 2008, 11:29 AM
    Getting married in a month
    Well I'm a new member, and I am also getting married next month... but there are a few things I am afraid of... like will sex get old after we are married a while? And yes I will admit I am a female and I can be very moody and stubborn sometimes. When we get into an argument its like I'm telling myself inside that its not worth it and to stop but I never do... I just keep on the fight and I hate that and I don't know how to stop it. And don't worry my fiance' is well aware of my moods. I'm not like crazy or anything I guess I'm just average but I would like to work on it through out my life and our life together... does anyone have any self tips they can give me? Thanks:)
    donf's Avatar
    donf Posts: 5,679, Reputation: 582
    Printers & Electronics Expert
     
    #2

    Feb 12, 2008, 11:59 AM
    Dear Alm,

    Trust me, us guys already know you are moody and pick fights with us perfectly created guys if for no other reason than to keep us completely off balance in bewilderment and baffled.

    Sex never gets old. Especially if you keep the romance in your world. Remind your intended that just because you are married now doesn't mean the courtship has ended. You are still expecting the gentleness of romance.

    As far as I'm concerned, I still am dating my wife when we go to dinner. Fill your world with little kindnesses to each other let friend ship build to love and you'll both be fine.

    Good luck!

    Don

    PS: We have been married 42 years the coming July 10.
    alm9653's Avatar
    alm9653 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Feb 12, 2008, 08:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by donf
    Dear Alm,

    Trust me, us guys already know you are moody and pick fights with us perfectly created guys if for no other reason than to keep us completely off balance in bewilderment and baffled.

    Sex never gets old. Especially if you keep the romance in your world. Remind your intended that just because you are married now doesn't mean the courtship has ended. You are still expecting the gentleness of romance.

    As far as I'm concerned, I still am dating my wife when we go to dinner. Fill your world with little kindnesses to each other let friend ship build to love and you'll both be fine.

    Good luck!

    Don

    PS: We have been married 42 years the coming July 10.
    aww thanks so much for the advice... I hope everything goes well but with married couples theses days nothing seems to last. I have a very good feeling that no matter what we will always be together :)
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #4

    Feb 12, 2008, 09:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by alm9653
    Well I'm a new member, and I am also getting married next month...but there are a few things I am afraid of... like will sex get old after we are married a while? and yes I will admit I am a female and I can be very moody and stubborn sometimes. When we get into an arguement its like I'm telling myself inside that its not worth it and to stop but I never do...I just keep on the fight and I hate that and I dont know how to stop it. And dont worry my fiance' is well aware of my moods. I'm not like crazy or anything I guess I'm just average but I would like to work on it through out my life and our life together...does anyone have any self tips they can give me? Thanks:)

    Will sex get old and boring at times, yes, if you let it, make sure you still take time to "date" and try to work on pleasing each other.
    And it is not just for the bedroom ( until you have kids anyway)

    And at times we have to do things for he other person, that includes giving in, if you never do, and always have to win, there will be problems, marriage will require give and take from both sides.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    Feb 12, 2008, 10:18 PM
    My advice is to talk about goals, money, sex, and faith. I'm a guy, so I don't want to chit-chat all the time about what's on my mind, but I'm willing to have some honest heart to heart about the things that make a relationship work... the sooner you both can learn to talk to each other in a comfortable manner about these things, especially when there is a problem, without it being a blame game, the better things will be.

    Id like to think my wife and I have a healthy relationship, married now 8 years, together 10... but I think we could have done a better job early on talking about sex and money.

    Can sex get boring or old? Well.. any long term relationship, married or not, can suffer from the "been there, done that" syndrome. Long term its about two people being on the same page sexually... at least both having enough overlap in interests that one doesn't feel neglected or put upon.

    And expect some ups and downs. Changes in health can affect sexual desire. Mental health can too, with depression being a big libido squasher. My wife and I both went through a period where our drives were lower... her from sickness, mine from stress and some depression tied to work.

    So... the only other advice id give is try to talk respectfully to each other as much as you can. I'm irish/serb... my wife is italian... talk about gasoline just waiting for a match.

    Yes, we have our fights now and then... but for the most part, I think we talk kindly, act respectfully, and behave thoughtfully toward each other. If you can't treat your mate better than you'd treat a stranger, then maybe its not a right fit.

    Ummm... oh yeah. Congratulations. It's a wild ride with ups and downs. Talk and love and live.

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