[Coy Campbell]

Oka here is the situation #1
Before I started going out with my recent boyfriend C I was going out with his best friend B. See the thing was I began going out with B thinking that he was going to treat me right. Now as almost all relationships the first week goes good. But after that it hit the ground. Be and C and me always hung out. Now C and B made money, and I didn't know that until some weeks later. Well it so happened that once B started getting as much money as C was getting he thought he was the big man. He stared wasting money and just started treating me and C as trophies instead of as really people. C was suppose to be his best friend and I was suppose to be his girl. As things started heading down hill for my relationship with B I was put in my high school classes with his best friend C. Me and C would hang out with each other all the time and spend more and more time together because we had class together and after school we would hang out. Since B was never around. As time passed by me and C started getting feeling for each other since we were always together, but I was still with B.

Now me and C have been together for 6 months and the relationship gets stronger as time passes on. I have met his family and we have plans to be together for the rest of our lives.

Now the thing is people say we are wrong for being with each other when I was with His best friend? Are we really wrong for that?

Situation #2
Now I am from puerto rico and my boyfriend C is from indianapolis, he is black mixed with white. Now we are in school in Kentucky and its almost time for us to go home. But before we go home he is to go on a boat (deckhands) and work for some time. I will not be with him I will still be on this center in Kentucy. Now the thing is that once I leave this center I have no where to turn to. Meaning my parents do not want me back home so I am alone, the only person I have is my boyfriend C. Now as he goes on the boat my mind begins to race will he come back for me? Will his love for me grow less and less as time goes by and his on the boat? Should I wait for him? Or should I go home and start something on my own? Should I return and begin my own life something that I know is secure? Or should I wait for him to return?

[JBeaucaire]

Situation #1
A lot of back and forth, but ultimately there's nothing actually wrong with dating anyone. Dating is harmless, it's a social experiment. You dating experiment with "B" failed, and it appears like "C"s friendship with him failed too, so no big deal losing him as a friend when you two ended up together.

"People say we're wrong for being together"... what people? Friends of "B" I'd guess. You guys aren't friends of "B" any more, so who cares what people say. Head held high, you're fine.

Situation #2
You will not put your life on hold for a guy, unless you have a WEDDING ring on your finger. You will not build your life around a boyfriend, or even a fiancé. You will be a mature, self-reliant woman who follows a path of self-sufficiency. Later, when you and "C" end up together, then you will both be strong self-reliant people sharing a life, not one self-reliant person (him) and one needy-dependent latcher-on (you.)

So, get your own place, wherever works for you, get your own finances in order, work, travel, etc. Let him have his boat job, but that's a tough nut. I'd not be putting any sort of waiting for HIM, he should be worrying about losing you while he's gone. Appears he isn't worried about that, so why should you be?

If you meet a better situtation while he's gone, then that TOO is just fine. C'est la vie. Dating is an ebb and flow and distance is a risk and breaking up permanently is a real risk. But as long as you're not sitting around waiting, then none of this is bad, you're LIVING.

BTW, you're parents not wanting you to move back home does not = alone. That's sad-sack thinking. They want you to be an adult, that's a good thing. Be proud you've got parents that want their daughter to be self-reliant.