[benjamin]

I was in a 3 year relationship. Well for the first two years everything was great. About 8 months ago she turned 21 and pretty much started going crazy. She would go out and drink a lot. One day she said that she needed some time. It turns out that she wanted to date someone else. Since then we had been on and off up to about 1 month ago. We both decided to give it another try. Things were going great, we just got back from a great weekend in san fransisco where I thought that we had truly come back to not only where we were, but had grown closer together. Last weekend was cool, we told each other we loved one another and seemed cool. Starting on Monday I got really sick, was throwing up and unable to really do anything. Wednesday night she called and asked if I wanted to go out with her and I told her no, I wasn't feeling up to it. Well she went out and hooked up with another guy. I lost control yelled at her cussed her out, pretty much lost my temper. We had another conversation that night and she said she was confused, that she didn't know what was going on, but didn't want things to end. It hurt me once again and I said some mean things. After that day, she changed her cell phone number, and hasn't returned my call that I left on her answering machine nor my email. I wrote her a letter just explaining that I loved her was sorry for saying the things I said, and just want to know what is going on. What I want to know is how can I figure this out, if I should try to do something, let it all go, etc... any perspective would be most helpful.

[bluebell11]

You had a right to be angry because she cheated on you. She's not treating you right. Just because you were sick and couldn't go out with her that night, doesn't mean she should cheat on you. I personally think you should try and move on because she's not treating you well.. you'll find someone out there that will. I know it can be hard to let go of someone you love and have been with for so long, but once you do it, and go for what makes you feel happy, you'll feel much better.

[viking]

How old are you?

Let me tell you , I just went through this same thing with a girl that just turned twenty and I am 33.

My advice is that you find a way to see her in person. Meet her for coffee or something like that. WHen you see her tell her that you love her and that you would like to have a future with her and that you hope she gets through this stage of hers. Tell her that you can't date her if she is going to cheat on you and tell her that you want her more than anything but you are not going to be with a woman who is running around on you. If she doesn't come back to you at least you can leave holding your head high. She really owes you an apology but you screwed up by cursing her out because now the score is even even though you have been betrayed and she has only been screamed at. Not very fare huh?
In summery: meet with her and tell her you love her, tell her that you want her but not if she can't be faithful.

Very improtant! Let the past cheating go if you want to have a chance with her. Just let it go. If you get with her again and she cheats again then dump her forever!

In all honesty though, she has some growing up to do and she doesn't sound like the kind of girl that I would recommend to anyone that I care about.