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luv2teach · Feb 8, 2008, 05:14 PM

Do you feel that it is important, for a couple to have a lot in common or be their indvidual person with different interest, and why

I have my own opinion: I feel that it is importnt to have some common interst, but I also feel that it is important that they are still their own person.

The other week my guy (we are in limbo) of 6 months stated that he felt that we were incompatiable , he couldn't talk to me that was important to him.. I looked at him as if he had just flipped his lid.. I told him we talk all the time, and that I have always been truly intersted in what he had to say and what was important to him... I asked him to elaborate the topic.. he said that he can't talk about politics and history with me...

When it comes to history he can tell you every president who was their running mate, their platform. etc.. He is brilliant, same way with politics.. I never had a good history background growing up nor was my family into politics... I was immersed in psycological theory, art, music and literature. I am always the type to step outside my box and try to expand my horizon because you never know what you may learn

twinkiedooter · Feb 8, 2008, 05:21 PM

If you want to be with this guy have him give you some history lessons pronto. I am sure that he will enjoy your rapt attention to his teaching you this. It is something that you should have paid more attention to in school as the old saying goes "Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it" is so true. He basically wants you in HIS world more than what you realize now and wants to share his love of history with you. You may feel you are easy to talk to etc. but in his mind you are not on the same page as he is right now. Who knows, you could really psychoanalyze today's policital arena and have fun while you two disect the presidential candiates.

luv2teach · Feb 8, 2008, 05:24 PM

Check... I ask questions I show interest I constantly try but he said he feels that he is teaching me..

luv2teach · Feb 8, 2008, 05:28 PM

I am always trying and bring up topics have always done that, I am writing a 5 day unit currently... thinking that it would help us, I chose history teaching the Constitution.. I cover from the articles of confederation, checks and balances, to the electoral process. I have always been interested in these areas and I am knowledgeable but not FLUENT

twinkiedooter · Feb 8, 2008, 05:34 PM

You did NOT say a peep about you knowing history well enough to teach. Do not think a "reddie" was appropriate to ding me with.

In that case, may I suggest you get a different boyfriend as this one seems to "know it all" and doesn't want to hear anything from you. Find another guy who does have more in common with you. And, yes, it does matter about having lots of things in common with another person. Being your own person, independent is okay by itself, but it takes two people to make a successful relationship in the end.

J_9 · Feb 8, 2008, 05:50 PM

I'm going to go the other route. My husband and I are two totally different people. We have very little if anything in common, aside from our children, yet we are perfect for each other. We compliment each other. His strengths compliment my weaknesses, and my strengths compliment his weaknesses.

We have little to talk about also. He is a master gunsmith, I know how to load and shoot a gun. I am going into the nursing profession, I can't talk about patients or my day... it's against the law.

Yet, we are good together. You don't have to be exact matches to be the perfect match. There are sets of checks and balances that makes relationships work. You just have to find your checks and balances.

Wondergirl · Feb 8, 2008, 05:52 PM

Why not plan short trips over the weekends to visit local historical sites? (Every village, town, county has them.)

For instance, first I would identify a site. In my area, that could be an Underground Railroad station that is part of a forest preserve a few miles east of me (in the basement of an old mill that still grinds corn for visitors to buy). My SO and I would go to the library, maybe even the library in that suburb since the most information would be there, do some Googling on the Internet, take notes (looking for unusual details and weird facts), then put together a report that we would work on together. Once we had the historical background figured out, we would spend an afternoon at that site poking around and looking for the things that are in our report.

Around here there are haunted houses and restaurants, old (pioneer) cemeteries with interesting residents and their tombstones, famous writers' and artists' homes, old churches, former Indian trails that are now major roads, etc. Further east is a suburb in which Ernest Hemingway and Frank Lloyd Wright lived and did some of their work. The City of Chicago is a motherlode of history. The local and county historical societies are always eager to help with research about and touring the city and suburbs. Day and weekend trips can be taken to historical sites in other states.

Your local public library is a good place to begin for identifying historical sites in your area. Usually there are local history books, tourism pamphlets, and even material put out by the state. If you can't find this information, ask a reference librarian for help.

luv2teach · Feb 8, 2008, 05:53 PM

It is important to have things in common but different interest I feel is not bad.. we share a lot in comon.. he is a history major, political science major, I am an education major minor in art and reading literacy but because I am not scholar and I can't name all of the presidents and their years orbe able to break down the fine details of politicians... HELL I'm screwed

J_9 · Feb 8, 2008, 05:57 PM

Nah, you aren't screwed. I can't tell you how to replace a firing pin in an AK-47, or how to shim the barrel of a Glock 19... But I can tell you if the doctor gave you the right medication for whatever illness you have and if he gave you the right amount.

Don't get me wrong, we have our similarities, but sometimes opposites do attract and work very well together.

Since you are dong a project on the constitution, enlist him to help you with some activities for the kids (5th grade right?) How about playing are you smarter than a 5th grader with a history twist... get him to come up with some questions and answers.

luv2teach · Feb 8, 2008, 05:59 PM

I have actually done that plan trips I want to learn and understand... I don't have a text book intelligence,
I am catholic and I was previously engaged to a guy who was orthodox jew and I embraced his faith and views and that brought us together...

Please also note theat my guy is 32 and I am 24 and yest the is a vast gap but it still doesn't make it impossible to work

luv2teach · Feb 8, 2008, 06:01 PM

He doesn't want to help he said that I should know stf and always be informed and not ask questions but debate.. I pull all nighters writing lesson plans and researching material and studying educational theories

talaniman · Feb 9, 2008, 11:30 AM

You are having a hard time with this fellow, because he is a controlling jerk, and that is what makes you incompatible.Yes you don't have to have a bunch in common but you do have to respect who your partner is and he doesn't do that. He doesn't accept you as an equal, and you will be in limbo until he does. Sorry, but after reading all your posts, and RESPONSES you have made, the conclusion is obvious, he is not healthy enough, to have a healthy relationship, with a healthy person.