[bj88]

Hey guys, so its been a long time since my last post, anyway I can't forget my ex girlfriend of whom I broke up with just over a year ago! The relationship was actually the subject of my last post and I was struggling with the breakup when it happened. Since then we remained friendly and both started seeing other people, but in the June of last year recommenced a sexual relationship whilst she was in a current relationship. She ended this in the August of last year and since then although I have had realtionships with other women I can't stop thinking about her. I think I am love with her but know in my heart that she is not good for me, I feel I have been treated cruelly and casually tossed aside but I would do anything to have her back. I need some really decent advice as my friends are not exactly the type to hear about this kind of stuff!

[talaniman]

She wouldn't mind friends with benefits huh?? Do you mind being a booty call? Or one of many booty calls for her?? She treated you cruelly and cast you aside already, so what has changed, and why would she not do it again, if a better booty came along. That's not love, and that's not what you want, so my advice is, stop letting her make you think that free sex, is what your looking for. Stop the contact from her, and stop contacting her. I'm sure you have heard that before, and the reason your still thinking the way you are, is because you haven't been NC. Your still letting her confuse you with false hope. No Contact will heal those feelings.

[Stevienicks1985]

It takes a while to heal a broken heart & get over a relationship. Its like an addiction almost. You have good days and bad days & sometimes just when you think you've pushed them out of your mind, you relapse.

I think you need to just focus on yourself. Find new and interesting hobbies, insteading of wasting time thinking about her, spend it with your friends who truly care about you.

I always said if something was meant to be then it would be. Only time will tell and you can't wait around stressing yourself out about it.

If your wanting to date other people you really need to give yourself time to completely heal and become a whole person by yourself again. Otherwise no one else will have stand a fair chance!

[JBeaucaire]

A good general description of most guys behavior would be "laser beam." We tend to be obsessive on the few things we like, be it Nintendo, sports, work, working out, or (in your case) a girl.

This is pretty natural so the thing that will help you most in this situation is to be looking for and focusing on A) another obsession you already have, or B) a new one.

Other than that, get some index cards and write in BIG letters on it the reasons being with her has messed you up... mentally, emotionally, distracting, disrespectfully, etc. When you start to think good thoughts desiring her, pull the cards out and read them aloud to yourself.

[EuRa]

I can't give any more reputation to Talaniman, but if I could I would. That is one fine answer!

[HistorianChick]

Darlin, yes. You're being treated badly, wrongly, unjustly, awfully, and any other negative adverbs you can think of. She has taken "friends with benefits" as her motto because you guys are great together... she realizes that, yet she doesn't want the commitment of a monogamous, dedicated relationship. She is using you for sex... That's not love.

Only you can decide what to do in this situation, if you want to continue to keep her up on this pedestal of "the perfect girl," that's your prerogative... but darlin, she's using you and you're letting her get inside your head and heart.

You deserve better than this - you deserve a woman that is yours because she wants to be with you, not simply because she knows you're good in bed.

Hope you can find the way to get her out of your head! Good luck, BJ88! :)