[woahnow]

Ok here are some things that are going on... I am an 18 year old girl by the way...
-Extremely depressed most of the time
-Multiple mood swings throughout one day
-I feel like there are cameras set up in my room and people are watching me

These are all affecting my life a lot. And I mean a lot.
-The depression caused me to stay in my house and cry for 2 years, attempted suicide, nearly drop of high school, made me drop out of college, broke off a number of my friendships, and caused me to gain a bunch of weight.
-The mood swings cause me to lash out on people and then make me feel really guilty afterwards. They also, unfortunately, let me act happy around others making it very easy to cover up my depression. Because of my hyperness and happiness during these mood swings nobody notices the depression.
-For some reason I really think there are cameras in my room. There are certain spots where I think they are and I feel them watching me but it is clear that there is no camera. I can't even get fully undressed after a shower(sorry for the mental image). I have to leave the towel on and slide my clothes over it so the 'cameras' don't see anything.

I looked up mental issues online and I definitely have depression and possibly bipolar but every time I think about it I try to convince myself that nothing is wrong as if someone is going to scold me for needing help. I also can't stop thinking of the whole "If you think your crazy then you are not crazy" thing and that just drives me, well, crazy.

I also read on sites that traumatic events can onset a mental disorder. There have been a few very traumatic events in my life before I was 10 and I don't know if that is why I feel this way.

I really appreciate you reading this. It took me forever to try to make this as clear as possible. I would really like some opinions on what I should do (get help, medication, or leave it alone, etc.) Please respond soon. :o

[flossie]

From what you've described, you definitely should be speaking to your doctor and soon! Medication might be the answer. They take a couple of weeks to kick in. No one should scold you for asking for help. Being on anti-depressants is nothing to be ashamed of. You'd be surprised at the number of people who take them.
Please make an appointment with your doctor today or call your local mental health unit at your local hospital.

[Allheart]

Hi Woahnow,

I am so sorry you are going through this. The great thing is... you really don't have to any longer.

I know you are 18, but can you confide in your parents and have them go to the doctors with you? Or a close friend.

If not, or if you rather go on your own, then by all means that's okay too. But it is so important to seek the help that is just waiting for you.

I, for so many years, held in all my hurts inside but was sure to wear a smile on the outside. I just didn't want to have anyone be sad at me being sad.

Then, I experienced a couple of very sad things and then my ability to mask my sadness ran out. In order for me to pick up and go, I had to seek a medical doctor's attention.

They first ruled out anything medical and then did perscribe anti-depressants. I had to go through a couple beofre they found the right one. Like Flossie said, they do take awhile to work.

I did have loving support of family and friends and a lovely young lady, right from here J_9. Who is wonderful!

I do feel better and it took me awhile to reach out for help and felt so bad doing so but I did it. And I realized that it was more hurtful to others keeping it in and I realized how many people were just like me.

Please don't suffer anymore sweetie. Call a doctor and just ask some questions. See what they have to say.

It's no different then a diabetic seeking help to keep their sugar at healthy levels or someone with high blood pressure taking medicine to keep their pressure at a healthy level.

Love yourself enough to get in touch with a doctor. The help is there and you no longer have to be in pain or fear.

I am hoping for the very best for you.

[George_1950]

I read this article on depression that seems interesting. Do not be too shy or ashamed to have an evaluation. Depression - Revolution Health

[HistorianChick]

Darlin, you're too young to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders. Leave that to the politicians.

Seriously think about consulting a doctor about this. You don't have to feel depressed all the time! Life is beautiful - and you deserve to see its beautiful-ness!

Keep your chin up, Hon. Share with someone that loves you and have them go with you to see the doctor. Really, you'll feel so much better after you have. :)