[the86guy]

First of all, Hi to all, my first post
Let me see how to start...
We are both from europe, different countries

Me and girfriend meet 2 yr ago in club, I was back then 19 and she was 25, I was going with my brothers ID (him being 23 at that time and we look the same)
We were dancing and then started to talk, she ask me about my age and I told her that I'm 23 (she saw that I look younger but she did believe me)

At that time I was working full time for a good company making around $60k a year and going to college part time, nice car, money ; but still living with my parents

She was here for a special program to get certification for english language and she couldn't work legaly or go back home ( europe)

... we went out couple of weeks and then she found out about my true age and she couldn't believe. She got upset and amazed :eek: how I did it to her.
The next she called me and told me that the age doesn't matter as long we are happy.( this was 3 months in the relationship)
From there everything went fine, we were going to vacation, cousin wedding, long distant friends...

OK now gets more interesting...

1.5 yr in the relationship > we planned to get married after I come from europe (vacation) but something went wrong I was delaying it . I could have seen her unhappy but I didn't want to do it just because she's unhappy... and I decide to propose for valentine's day/weekend
She had a bad cristhmas,missing her family and feeling depressed
And the only reason she's still in USA is because of me ,

The break up

We were coming back from ski vacation and she complain that her back hurts and keep telling me that she's going home(to her aunt) and I didn't believe her and though that she wants to go somewhere else and not with me
Why had arguments and she went home
I went with my/her friends to the club, I got wasted from drinking but I did wish she was next to me.
Next day she emailed me and tells my how rude,crude, and how I don't have feelings for her and how could I left her alone
She said she was crying the whole new years night and felt alone and that I don't love/care about her
She told me that she need time for herself and to think about us

After 2 weeks of not seeing each other, I decide to go for a walk in the park with her and talk about our relationship
We got to a conclusion that we need to be more open to each other
...
The next week when I called her she told me that she made a mistake and it not a good idea to be together and I'm not ready for marriage and imature

I know she loves me, I can she on her face and she told me but she thinks that is better to break up now

She tries to forget me by going to clubs .
I ask her about how many drinks she had, it was 4
... I know that ussually she doesn't drink more than 1 and she's not a party girl but it seems that's her way of trying to forget me

I talked with her today and explained that age difference is not important as long we are happy/love
And showing her as an example her uncle that is 5 yrs younger than aunt
She said that she needs time to think about what's better for her
She is planning on going back (home europe) in September
She also told me that she doesn't feel the same and she is not happy and that she want security

I don't know what to do
I really love her and want to spend my life with her

[talaniman]

Give her what she wants, and leave her alone, as she has changed her mind about you. Sorry for your loss. Click the links in my signature, and see if it helps, and let me know if any of it fits your situation.

[Fr_Chuck]

Age is not much of an issue for this small age difference at all.

It sounds like everyone has been having some second thoughts at various times. So what do you want to do.

First drinking never helps anything but cause a couple more issue.
And if I read it right, there was marriage plans, but you were not back in the US for some reason. I could see where that could be some issues.

Some counseling as a couple if she would do it, may really help see if there is a relastionship or not.

[talaniman]

The next she called me and told me that the age doesn't matter as long we are happy

I don't think she was happy. Move on. She may change her mind again, and she may not. Don't wait for what if.