[fawnda]

My Ex-boyfriend and I had a son together 11 years ago. I then wound up leaving him( the ex) about a yr later as I could not take the verbal abuse and alcoholizm any more. I left the state for about a year then moved back. I had went to the courts and got child support set up. He owes more then 16000.00. There was no parenting plan installed. Pays only when he gets drug back into court by the state. He has had hardly no contact with his son, my son and I live less than 15 min. from him. So from the time I moved back into the area, He found out I was back (from mutual aqaintance) so about once a year he would phone the house and leave a message, stating something like this, Hey its me, Just wanted to know whe you are going to let me see my son? So give me a call. So this would happen about every yr. Noting that my phone number has always been published. I would tell my son that his dad called and asked him if he wanted to call him. My son has had no interest in calling him back. Three years ago The ex drug me to court tried to get custody! For what? So he wouldn't have to pay child support anymore. That didn't go very far, I hired an attorney, he just basically wasted my money and didn't proced any further with it. My son then wanted to see his dad, So this started as 30 min visits at my house, which all that turned into was arguing and belittling me. Couple days later 30 min. at my house,
Instantly after that ex want my son to spend the night, which didn't happen right away. But did happen down the road. So now after a month of this my son feels pretty happy he has a dad in his life. Now you don't suppose we don't hear from him for week, now weeks, now months, now for than more than a year. No B-day card, No christmas card,present, zilch. So I pick up the pieces. My son not understanding why his dad won't talk to him. Which is fine cause personaly I want my son to grow up a respectable young man and not turn into his father. Another yr goes by Another phone call, Hey its me, when are you going to let me see my son? Why doesn't my son call me back? Give me a call. Bye. Its my sons decsision to not call his dad. What can I do? Is there child abondonnmet laws for this. Im not going to stop my son from seeing his father. He has made that choice himself. Is there anything the courts can do about this? The child support he seldom pays is 170 a month. Which I really don't need. I just don't want to pick up the pieces when he breaks my sons heart if he does get a visitation plan. Fanda

[George_1950]

Unfortunately, in my view anyway, the court system is adversarial. You go to court when you want to fix something that is broken. A good lawyer is like a surgeon who works with the teeth of a barracuda.
If you want to repair the father/son relationship, and you son is 11, it isn't too late for Boy Scouts. Or try a counselor/relationship expert in the area of father/son.