[johnnycage]

We have a an 18 month old little boy who appears from all accounts to have got the "terrible twos" early. He is very advanced for his age and seems to be permanently fustrated and nothing keeps him occupied. We have got him all types of toys some for his age group, some for older but it doesn't help. We play with him as much as we can, but the more attention we give him the more he wants. If left alone he immediately will go for anything he can get, DVD's, remotes, on the dining room table, pulls down the washing, etc, etc, etc. The moment you stop one thing he's on to the next. I work every day and my wife is at home caring for him. He is wearing her out, our relationship is taking a serious knock because of it too. Putting him in his cot doesn't work and we don't want him to associate it with a naughty place anyway or he won't want to sleep there. The occasional tap on the hand is no good either and we don't want to/cant spank him as he's too young. Also, where we live there is unfortunately no nursery who will take children below the age of 2 yrs. We desperately need some advice and support as our family is in another country and we have nobody who can look after him even for a short while to give us a break!! :( :(

[bushg]

I don't think a child that age should be left alone for even one minute.
Now if he is in his crib or playpen while awake then a few minutes alone should not hurt him. It would be helpful if you had a moniter so that you could hear him or leave the door open.
As far as alone time unless you hire a private sitter then you will need to each take turns watching him while the other one gets some down time.
I was blessed to have a few good sitters while my children were small. Ask around and see if your coworkers or friends can recommend someone that does babysitting. Believe me he will be in pre-school before you know it... elementary,middle, high school and college.

[johnnycage]

Thanks!
The plus side for us is that unless he is in his cot he is never alone, as he follows us around like a puppy, he always wants to be involved in everything! Our house is built in such a way that we can here him the moment he crys anyway! The problem is that he seems to be wilfully destructive and there is only so many places we can put things where he can't get to them

[oneguyinohio]

At that age, it is a sign of the child's curiosity and intellegence. You are blessed with a very smart child, but that comes with the downside of what you are experiencing. Really, there is not perception of intentionally causing things to be wrecked on the child's part. Be careful not to attribute characteristics of someone much older to such a youngster. I had "battles" with my son wanting to put poptarts in the VCR! Or was it oatmeal?

Part of the increased problems are also probably due to increased mobility of the child... lots of new world to explore! It will lesson eventually.

[talaniman]

Child proof a certain room, and use safety gates around the house. Let him do as he pleases until he can understand you much better as he is only active and curious. As he learns to communicate, then you can teach him what's expected, and what's right, and wrong. At this stage though, watch and protect, and enjoy. When he sleeps, you sleep.

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry you don't want to use the best method ( swat on the rear) since things like pulling laundry down, and not listening needs to be addressed now, since waiting will only make it harder.

[oneguyinohio]

Here we go again Fr. Chuck with your agenda of physical pain to teach something.
Would you cause such pain to a 4 week old puppy that wet on the carpet doing something only natural as in the case of the child? There are other ways of dealing with problems other than the "swat on the rear" that only serves as an emotional release for the adult. Try to be smarter than the child.
The parent already stated their belief in not spanking... Good for them! Now, if you would offer support in consideration of their view, rather than pushing your views upon them, it surely would be better than your trying to pound yet another lesson in to someone you disagree with.

[johnnycage]

I'm not saying we haven't once or twice, but I try not to since I don't feel he's really old enough to understand that what he is doing is wrong and since he does it all the time one has to gauge when the right time to spank him actually is! I know I got enough hidings when I was a boy and I'm no worse for wear because of it, but my parents also didn't smack until I was old enough to understand why they were doing it!

[mafiaangel180]

Since tying him up in the backyard is frowned upon... Kidding. Seriously.

My advice would be to not leave him alone so he can do these things such as getting on the dining room table or tear down your washing. Child-proof the areas in which he plays.

[johnnycage]

I have to say that although I am at my wits end with his behaviour, as is my wife, we are very proud of his ingenuity as he finds ways around our preventitive measures and it only takes him seconds to get the washing or climb up the dining room chairs onto the table! Seriously, in the time it takes you to clean your teeth or check on dinner, etc...

[talaniman]

Join the club, as we all know children at that age are a handful. It gets worse, but you'll look back and laugh. Just hang in, and pay attention, and stay alert, as they think they are smarter than you are.

[oneguyinohio]

Truly, even though the behavior is inconvenient you are promoting his mental problem solving skills by presenting obstacles that he has to figure ways around. I've seen kids climb baby gates that were 2 high one above the other... also it might not be long before climbing out of the bed or play pen is easy for him as well.

You'll have to tie the chairs to the table or something (maybe store them elsewhere), and don't delay on putting laundry away... not a criticism at all... been there.