[mackenzie0764]

I've seen a few questions about this but I think mine differs some. My husband and I are perfect for each other we never fight, are happy, enjoy the same thing and are best friends. We have a healthy sexual relationship and ended up having a 3some with a friend. It happened a few times then ended. He had a one time affair a few months later, and she ends up pregnant! At the time I was pregnant too, with our second boy. He just told me about it a week after our son was born because he didn't want me to lose the baby. I want to work it out but feel so lost and numb towards him. On top of it he's being transferred in 2 weeks and I can't join him for 6 weeks. We want to start counselling but can't. He is very apologetic and willing to do whatever it takes to fix our family but I'm not sure I can get over this. On top of it, the other woman is crazy, she's bipolar and they think maybe borderline schizo, and I think after my husband. I just need some ideas to bounch around I'm going nuts.

[AustProd6]

Oh my gosh. Is there a correct answer here.

Only you can decide what you will except and what is exceptable to the normal.

What is in your heart?

And What is in your head?

[mafiaangel180]

Well, by him knowing that you were OK with him sleeping with another woman in a three-way, he basically thought he could sleep with other women in general. You definitely should go to counseling, regardless if you decide to stay with him or not because no doubt you are hurting. If you plan on staying with him, you will have to trust him and accept the fact that this lady will probably be apart of your life forever if she keeps the baby.

[HistorianChick]

I agree with mafiaangel- You kind of gave him the thumbs up for sleeping with someone else when you had those three-ways. I'm sorry for your situation and that the woman your husband was having an affair with is now pregnant.

Bottom line, if she keeps this baby, the baby is your husband's son. Like mafiaangel said, he/she will be in your lives forever. You need to make whatever concessions you have to in order to start counseling asap. Maybe even begin counseling apart - your husband can start with someone in the area that you're moving and you can start where you are... that may help - and give a little liberty to really say what you're feeling to the counselor.

I hope it all works out for you and I'm very sorry for your situation.

Good luck!

[michealb]

First off, I don't agree that a threesome a with one girl is a thumbs up to sleep with a different girl. Maybe you could say it's an indifferent thumb to sleep with the girl you had the threesome with but not a thumbs up to have sex with any girl he chooses.

Sounds like the your guy doesn't fully apreciate what he has. You need to start conseling as soon as possible. Then through conseling you need need to decide if he is worth keeping around. If he can't start conseling for 6 weeks you should considor seeing a conselor yourself so that they can get more complete advice over multiple sessions with more story than you can give on web site.

[talaniman]

You both need to be guided through the process of setting boundaries, and keeping them, as you can't experiment with others, and call "foul", when the fun stops. Obviously, his interepretation of the rules is different than yours, and you both will need a lot of help getting on the same page. Get help for you both, as a child's welfare is the priority.

[mackenzie0764]

Thank you everyone. I will keep it all in mind. And we will be starting counseling as soon as possible.