[Justconfused]

My husband and I have been married since May 2007. Ever since we been married all we do is fight. For some reason I still am love my ex. When I see him old feelings come back and I can't help it. Whenever we run into each other there is this comfort between us. He tells me he still loves me and I also tell him I love him to. When me and my husband argue it seems to drive me towards my ex. I would leave home when he goes to work just so I can see him at a friends house. I have all these mixed feelings because I know I love my husband but I also love my ex. There has also been a couple of times when were supposed to be engaged in meaningful sex. I stopped because I knew it was wrong. The more I done it the more I wanted him back. I would feel guilty because I cheated on my spouse but, I would also be happy because I've once again been with this other man that I still love. I want things to work between me and my husband because now I'm pregnant. I know for sure that he is the father because around the time I conceived I stopped sleeping with my ex. But, I never stopped seeing him. What should I do?:(

[tickle]

You have to make a choice, that is obviously clear. You are pregnant now and that decision has to be made. If you don't make a concerted effort to be faithful to your husband and release all feelings for your ex, then there is nothing but disaster in store for all three of you. You made vows, you should keep them.

[mjl]

I also got married in May 2007!
First of all I need to ask, why did you get married if you still have feelings for your ex? When you marry someone you should have the feeling that you want to be with this person forever, and obviously you didn't if you deep down want to be with someone else. You made vows for a reason, you should keep them.

You say "I would leave home when he goes to work just so I can see him at a friends house." You are keeping these feelings by doing this. You won't ever let him go if you continue doing this.

"When me and my husband argue it seems to drive me towards my ex." I have a feeling that you are purposely getting into aguements so you have a reason to go see him. You can't blame a fight for cheating. And yes, cheating doesn't have to be physical.

[aprilfools]

I can so relate. I got married in April and was 7 months pregnant. I love my husband and the truth is, I've never known love like this. He loves me so unconditionally.. he tells me I'm beautiful when I've got spit up on my shoulder and I haven't seen a shower in days but I still can't get over my first real love. It seems so crazy because we broke up in 2002 and before that had been long distance but the things we went through together, the way we shaped one another reality... it's still hard for me to imagine life without him. I just found he's getting married 2 day's ago and I feel empty and anxious. I know I'll get over it. Actually I think I'll never really get over it but I think over time it will get easier to deal with. I still have dreams about him. It just feels like there is so much to be closed for me.

[George_1950]

Life can be such a bitsh; check this: How to Get Over Your First Love

[talaniman]

What a mess. Instead of working to resolve the issues in your marriage, you chose to run to another, not healthy. Now your pregnant, and think it may be your husbands, but that doesn't solve the marriage problems, does it. Leave the ex alone, and resolve the marriage issues, either go, or stay. Sorry but you must do the right thing here, or it will get really messy later, and the child you carry will be in the middle of this mess.